Today's Evil Beet Gossip

AmIdol Recap: Top 10 Girls

We’re back. Top ten girls. Randy’s in another one of those never-to-be-worn-on-television patterned shirts. Which is forgivable in comparison to Ryan, who is wearing lavender.

Gina Glocksen. We’re still dedicating, and this one goes out to her boyfriend. “Alone.” I’m not loving the beginning, but she kicks it up toward the end. She’s a little off on a few of the notes, but I like her. She’s got spunk. She’s wearing this red prom dress she got at Forever 21, and it doesn’t really fit the song, let alone her, but whatever. I think there’s a guitar pick on her charm necklace, and that’s cool. Everyone liked her, but Simon thought her vocals were forced at the end. He mentions that her outfit doesn’t fit the song. I should judge this show.

Alaina Alexander. Dedicated to robots! No, her mom. These people are so predictable. “Not Ready to Make Nice,” which is risky because this song gets so much radio play these days. But I have to hand it to this girl: she rocks this shit out … at first. Vocally a little shaky at the end, but I like her, too. She got the memo from the Oscars about no necklaces. Randy hated the vocals. Paula says it was shaky but not as bad as Randy said. Simon mentions that she ran out of steam.

LaKisha Jones is wearing the costume you put on when you have to be at a Halloween party in twenty minutes and you forgot to buy an actual costume. I call it “slutty pumpkin.” It’s this bright orange shirt and short dark denim skirt, with leopard-print shoes. It’s possible the shirt is actually red in person, but these people need to check their outfits on camera first. Dedicated to her grandmother, who I cannot freakin’ believe is nearly 90 years old. Honestly, she doesn’t look a day over 65. I work with people who look older than this woman. “Midnight Train to Georgia.” This girl has hands-down the best voice in this competition, she makes it seem effortless, and she’s a great performer to boot. Everyone liked her. Paula’s sober. Bummer. Simon didn’t like her outfit. Oh, Simon calls the shirt “orange,” so I guess that’s what it is. Ryan calls it “salmon,” and it’s embarrassing for him primarily because a straight man would never use that word to describe anything but a fish, and also because that shirt is definitely not salmon.

Melinda Doolittle. Aw, dedicated to her two best friends, which is way better than dedicating to a boyfriend. It’s not robots, but so far she wins my vote for best dedication. “My Funny Valentine.” It’s a great song for showing off her voice. She has an incredible range, and her voice is very mature. Man, I really like her, too. I like a lot of the girls this season. I don’t even have anything mean to say about her clothes. Randy loved her. Paula thinks she’s “out of this world.” Simon thought it was “incredible.” Simon’s like, “We’ve had some precocious little monsters on this show,” in praise of Melinda’s low-ego approach, but someone needs to start a band called Precocious Little Monsters. A band or a Montessori.

Antonella Barba. Dressed for her Austin Powers: The Spy Whose Dick I Sucked audition. Dedicated to her brother, who is totally adorable. “Because You Loved Me.” We’re three notes in. This will not end well. This song is so much bigger than her. Honestly, she’s about 500 times better than she was last week, but this girl shouldn’t even dream of pitting her voice against Celine Dion’s. Randy starts with “On the positive side, you are drop-dead gorgeous.” That’s a bad sign. “That song was completely the wrong song, way too big for you.” Paula mentions she was way better than last week. Simon thinks she was worse than last week, which I’d disagree with.

Jordin Sparks. Also to her brother. Copy-cat. “Reflection,” like the one from Mulan. I was scared for her at first, because Christina Aguilera’s a tough act to follow, but she pulls it off. She got the no-necklace memo. Yeah, she does a great job with a very difficult song. She’s crying after watching the film piece about her brother. Holy shit, I forgot she was 17. Randy mentions it as he praises her. Paula loves her. Simon thought it was “excellent.”

Ryan mentions that Kellie Pickler will perform on the results show tomorrow. “She’s always fun,” he says, “and candid,” which is probably the best euphemism ever for the way Kellie Pickler speaks.

Stephanie Edwards, who I have to admit I don’t even remember from last week, for whatever that’s worth. Dedicated to mom and dad. “Dangerously in Love.” She actually sounds a lot like Beyonce, now that I pay attention to it. I don’t know if this is a good song choice, just because it’s not particularly melodic. It’s more chant-y. It doesn’t really show off a voice. She does an incredible run toward the end, but it’s just not a performance I’ll remember tomorrow. She also got her dress at Forever 21. But no necklace. Randy mentions that she sounded exactly like Beyonce, and he thinks she needs to be more original. Paula thought she was brilliant. Simon loved it. Randy, embarrassed to have been disagreed with, quickly mentions that he’s worked with Beyonce. Paula falls over in exasperation. Heh.

Leslie Hunt, to her late grandfather. She has this really low speaking voice with a kinda stoner-cool edge to it (not that drugs are cool, kids). In her film clip, she’s wearing the same necklace she wore to perform last week. It’s a cool necklace, but you gotta be cognizant of these things, dear. “Feelin’ Good,” which, um, A.J. Tabaldo sang last night, so this is weird. I really liked her last week, but she’s not doing it for me this week. She tries scatting at the end, which, um, Blake Lewis did last night, too, and which she doesn’t do nearly as well as he does. Randy thought it was pitchy, which it was. Paula liked it. Simon’s like “I know why you loved her,” to Paula, then, to Leslie, “because, that bit at the end, you sounded like Paula talking.” I wonder how long Simon’s been sitting on that joke.

Hayley Scarnato, who’s another one I don’t remember from last week. Dedicated to her fiance, who’s super hot. “Queen of the Night.” She does a respectable job with the song, but, again, I won’t remember this girl tomorrow. Randy wasn’t impressed. Paula thought she was way better than last week. Simon gives her an A for effort, but wasn’t too impressed vocally. Hayley looks like she’s going to cry. Then she cries. Oh, poor baby.

Sabrina Sloan. Dedicated to her grandmother. It’s actually a very sweet dedication. “All the Man I Need.” She looks gorgeous. She does a killer job with the song, too. I like her. She’s on my A+ list. Oh shit, and she turns around to thank the band when she’s done. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a contestant do that. Very classy of her. Randy and Paula love her. Simon thought it was the wrong song, but thinks she’ll stick around another week.

So my money’s on Leslie Hunt to go home, and probably Alaina Alexander, too, but maybe Hayley Scarnato. Vocally Antonella should go home, but you know that girl is stickin’ around. Results tomorrow.

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