Today's Evil Beet Gossip

George Clooney Still Sexier Than Actual Sex

He’s done it again. George Clooney has taken home the “Sexiest Man Alive” title from People magazine. He first won it nine whole years ago, clearly there are no traditional limits on this man’s sexuality.

Here’s the problem I have with George Clooney; there is no problem. He gives great interviews, he’s got great friends, he chooses great projects. This is highly frustrating to someone who sees the celeb world as a collection of freaky deaky folks. It also means that Clooney is hiding something unspeakable like he’s got a twin who’s hooked on PCP or he once killed a cat because he was bored. I don’t know what the thing will be when it comes out but I guarantee you’ll shake your head because you never saw it coming. Well I did. Everyone’s got something to hide.

Fine, he’s damn sexy, and that’s coming from a happy straight man. But later today I’m going to have to go after the rest of the list with both guns blazing.

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