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Kate Upton hates her big, beautiful breasts

Kate Upton's boobs have served her well in the modeling industry, but like any girl …

Christina Hendricks says "No, thanks!" to kids

Christina Hendricks has been married to husband Geoffrey Arend since 2009, so everyone wants to …

Snow White and Prince Charming got married!

It was only about six months ago that Once Upon a Time's Ginnifer Goodwin and …

Tori Spelling can't give Dean McDermott enough sex

Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott have been having some drama... and by "drama", I …

Johnny Depp is testifying in a bizarre murder trial

This is a bit of a weird one. Johnny Depp was subpoenaed this week to …

Did Beyoncé Photoshop herself a thigh gap?

Celebrities Photoshopping their pictures - even their "candid" Instagram images - is nothing new and …

4You’re in New York. Go in Style.

Beet readers and those fascinated by Britney Spear’s vagina if you are in New York in the next few weeks and find yourself needing to use the toilet have no fear. Charmin has set up shop in a storefront formally occupied by Barcode. Remember the episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie went on the date to in Times Square where they played video games…it is that place. Each of the 20 restrooms is cleaned after every use. It is a holiday promotion which really is quite smart. Other than Starbucks, New York is a wasteland of restrooms. If you have to pee in New York you usually have to sneak into a hotel or restaurant. There is much fanfare to this public toilet experiment. You can even get your picture taken with the Charmin Bear! The website is too funny. They have a map where you can see how many visitors from different countries have visited the Charmin restrooms. They have had 2 visitors from Madagascar who must have been very confused at the whole idea of an entire storefront being devoted to the excitement of pooping.
The Naked Cowboy wrote a song about this holiday extravaganza and obviously, it is on You Tube. Here you go. Please watch this because you can see how random this whole toilet thing is. I haven’t gone yet but Monday I work in Times Square and you better believe I’m getting my picture taken with the bear.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz5JnAY0V1Y]

November 30, 2006 at 11:40 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

6Did Britney’s Vagina Break Google?

From Blogger’s status blog:

Thursday, November 30, 2006
We are currently investigating the intermittent 502 error pages on the new version of Blogger in beta and its Blog*Spot blogs. If you experience one of these errors, waiting a minute or so and refreshing may help.

I’ve talked to a few other gossip bloggers, all of whom are experiencing insane levels of traffic from people searching for Britney’s vagina. At Evil Beet yesterday we experienced traffic at more than ten times our normal level. Today we’re on track for that to be twenty times. I wonder if this sudden traffic surge is impacting Google’s Blogger servers. Man, I hope so. I hope Britney’s vagina broke Google.

Related: sorry for the 502 errors. It’s not my fault! If you try to load the site and it won’t come up, try again in a few minutes. Thanks for reading! (Or, um, looking, as is the case for most of you.)

November 30, 2006 at 11:11 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears, Google, MGMT

4I Guess Paris and Stavros Are Still Doin’ It

This is so bizarre. Paris Hilton is pictured above with a locket that has a picture of Stavros her on again/off again “boyfriend.” Here is a video, via x17Online.com where you can almost audibly hear Paris say, “Get your hot ass over to The Grove right now!” Hollywood has now gone from being like high school to being middle school. How sweet that Paris celebrates her favorite booty call with a sweet picture in a locket. By sweet I mean lame. Remember back in the day when Paris was going to marry that other Greek shipping heir and be a housewife?

November 30, 2006 at 9:42 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Paris Hilton, stavros

24Minorities of the World, Unite! (Are the French a minority?)


This just in.

Tony Parker of the San Antonio NBA Basketball Spurs and Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria are officially engaged. No more simply knocking boots for the two of them, they are making a firm commitment to be legal in Texas by the summer of 2007.

Frankly, I don’t have much to say about either of them. The Spurs are a really boring team and Tony is French. I heard on FOX that I’m supposed to frown upon the French.

As for her, I stopped watching Desperate Housewives because it started going hella hokey. She was decent in the film no one ever saw, Harsh Times.

So there you have it. I suppose I could mention that she is seven years older than him if you ladies want to hoot, or alternatively, holler. Go nuts.

November 30, 2006 at 9:10 pm by Evil Beet

9Lindsay Lohan Trying to Get Sober

It’s possible we bloggers might have to find someone else to fill our column inches in the near future, as Page Six reports that Lindsay Lohan has begun attending AA meetings. This should come as a surprise to no one, as Lindsay’s former boyfriend, Harry Morton, is sober, and she was spotted wearing a 90-day sobriety chip at the Ivy, and, most recently, issued a statement on the death of Robert Altman littered with AA jargon.

According to Page Six, a “spy” reported seeing her yesterday at an early morning AA meeting near her apartment. As a gossip blogger, I love this, but as a person, I think this “spy” is a total asshole. Lindsay should have the opportunity to get sober anonymously, just like anyone else in a 12-step program, and it’s heartbreaking that she was betrayed by someone from a meeting. (Yeah, I know, that’s not stopping me from running this article). A Lohan friend confirmed: “She has attended several meetings and has hopefully decided to turn her life around – this time for good. She is out of control.”

I’m excited for Lindsay that all the Courtney Love chanting is paying off, and I truly hope she can manage to get herself clean and sober, and get her life back on track. We gossip bloggers don’t really need her anymore, now that we have Britney Spears on the scene.

November 30, 2006 at 8:05 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

0Bigots of the World, Unite!

Entertainment Weekly has pulled an interview with Mr. Mel Gibson (his own self).

Overall the interview is well done and somewhat thoughtful. I’d never claim Mel isn’t smart, I’d just claim that clearly he should lay off the fire water. Here are a few of the choice bits though:

Do you feel you’ve done enough apologizing for your anti-Semitic remarks?
“Those were the ravings of an inebriated, angry person. I don’t know. I think publicly I have done enough.”

Hey, newsflash, that person was you. You are angry, were inebriated, raved. I’m sick of people saying “It was the anger talking.” That anger is you fella, take responsibility and say “I’m an angry guy and that’s something I battle with.” Who is this third person you speak of?

People won’t really refuse to work with you?
“No, people aren’t like that. Those are just headlines: Mel Ostracized by Hollywood! Hollywood is what you make it.”

I can tell you based on my experience in the industry that most people don’t take moral stands. If Mel had come out the next day and said “I believe my statements were correct,” he’d still have work. He owns a production company for God’s sake, he has an Oscar. There is one thing Hollywood values above your personal life and views. Money. Cold hard cash, and Mel has a history of delivering it. Thus, short of raping a goat in front of the Hollywood sign, someone will always want to work with him, no matter the religious affiliation.

Here’s some sympathy from Mel:

“I felt like sending Michael Richards a note. I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress.”

He should feel bad for Richards. Richards is proper fucked, unlike Mel. Why? He hasn’t delivered the money in eight years, and even then it was with an ensemble. Now producers can take a moral stand because it’s fiscally prudent (channeling George Bush I). I now return you to typical Hollywood softball mumbo-jumbo:

Can you teach anybody to act?
“Yeah. It’s about breathing.”

For the record I have no problem separating the art from the artist. Bad people make great films sometimes, sweethearts can make stinkbombs. Braveheart was a great film. But you should be aware that Apocalypto is not a good film. Uber not-goodness. What it is an extremely heavy handed metaphor wrapped up in a very weak story. Boring, silly, pointless. Other than that I loved it. Make sure you see it.

November 30, 2006 at 5:15 pm by Evil Beet
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