Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rock My World! Anna Nicole Has a New Lawyer!

Wow, my sense of security in this world just took a major hit.

We reported earlier in the week that Anna Nicole Smith married her longtime lawyer, Howard “Not the Shock Jock” “K.” Stern.

Now word is coming through that the marriage was “not legally binding,” and the vows were just part of a “commitment ceremony.” Apparently heterosexual marriage isn’t allowed in the Bahamas — well, it’s allowed in Freeport, but then it won’t be recognized in Nassau, which specifically voted to ban heterosexual marriage, considering it a “vile affront to encouraging hot chicks to go down on each other, i.e., tourism.”

Here’s what rocks my world: This statement was made by Michael Scott, Anna’s attorney.

What happened? Howard K. Stern has been Anna’s lawyer since the dawn of time! Since J. Howard Marshall was born, it seems! Does Anna need a new lawyer now that she’s in love with her old one? Who’s writing the pre-nup? I really don’t know if I can get used to this.

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