Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan (Allegedly) Smokes Hippie Cigarettes, Huge Cocks

Just another sickening battle in the war on privacy we call fame. Some enterprising young stalker has apparently captured a Lohan grocery receipt. How do we know it’s a Lohan grocery receipt? Her name’s not on it anywhere. Okay, her name is on the bottom, but it’s not like that proves anything. I could get a Ralphs card as Lindsay Lohan, too. The list includes:

  • Chaser (a popular hangover “cure”)
  • 2 bottles of Nyquil
  • 1 box Claritin tablets
  • 1 box of Sudafed
  • 1 box of Unisom
  • Ginseng
  • 2 boxes green tea supplement

and also:

  • 4 frozen dinners
  • 3 bottles of wine
  • 2 bags of Doritos
  • Miracle Whip
  • grated Parmesan cheese
  • Philly Cream Cheese
  • 2 jugs of cranberry juice
  • Honey Nut Cheerios
  • 12 pack of Diet Coke
  • 3 packs of American Spirits
  • Tums Smoothies
  • 1 box of Magnum Trojans

So as best I can tell, your local meth lab threw a lovely Labor Day picnic.

I’m not yet convinced this receipt belongs to La Lohan. This could just as easily be a PR stunt by Trojan, AmSpirit or Chaser. I’m waiting for some proof.

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