Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It Has Occurred to Kate Hudson That She Is Attractive and Her Husband Is Not

Finally. Okay, brutal honesty from me: these two drive me insane. She is so young and beautiful and talented and famous, and he is so old and horse-faced and bearded and irrelevant, and I absolutely hated the possibility that true love could have triumphed over all of that.

Phew.

Kate Hudson’s rep confirmed today that the Almost Famous star will be splitting from her not-even-in-the-same-room-as-famous-anymore hubby of six years, former guitarist singer for some band that the kids at your high school who hung out on the grassy knoll and drew anarchy symbols on their Skechers may have heard of, Chris Robinson. Tossed amid the wreckage will undoubtedly be their 2-year-old son, Ryder.

Kate, in exchange for your decision to spare me a lifetime of nauseating interview quotes about the pureness and unquestionable staying power of your love for the man you married at 21, I will end this entry without making any play at all on How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days; this puts me on a road far, far above everyone else who has written about your glee-inducing marital cataclysm in the past two hours. You’re welcome.

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