Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lorde covers Jeremih’s ‘Don’t Tell ‘Em’ in BBC Radio 1′s Live Lounge

lorde

I really liked Lorde‘s debut album and I really like what she represents in music. I like that sick burn she gave to Dipshit Diplo yesterday. I like that she doesn’t give a fuuuuuuck what you and I might think of her. One thing I do not like? Her “dancing”. It’s so distracting! In theory it’s great, because she’s totally into it, doing her thing, getting her groove on, clearly not caring whether she looks like she might be having a seizure. That’s awesome and she should keep doing her. But from a viewing standpoint, I have to turn off any visual of her in order not to ruin the sound – and the sound is pretty awesome in this case.

Lorde stopped by to visit Annie Mac in BBC Radio 1′s Live Lounge yesterday, where she covered Jeremih’s ‘Don’t Tell ‘Em’ and did a pretty amazing version of it. I’m not sure why she’s dressed like it’s mid-summer in a crop top when it’s the middle of November, but again, let your freak flag fly, girl! Be a free spirit!

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Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week!

We've got TWO Jennifer Aniston looks for you this week. What fun!

We’ve got TWO Jennifer Aniston looks for you this week. What fun!

Welcome back to Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week! Have you had a splendid week? Mine wasn’t too bad. But now it’s time for critiquing fashion, everyone’s faaaaavorite thing to do, right? Yeah. So go through the looks and make your picks for who had the BEST, WORST, and most WTF look of the week!

 

Charli+XCX

Charli XCX. Those shoes. THOSE SHOOOOOESSS!

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Drake’s ex-stripper friend put his dick pics online

drake

So… apparently Drake got himself involved with a stripper sometime last year. Said stripper later lied and said Drake fathered her kid, which was later proven to be a lie, but apparently Drake threatened her to keep quiet or something at some point so she’s seeking revenge by posting his dick pics online, as you do.

From MediaTakeout:

MediaTakeOut.com just received an image of what we understand MAY BE DRAKE’S PEEN. Generally we don’t just BLATENTLY POST PICS LIKE THIS . . but there’s a news story behind it.

You see, Jhonni Blaze – a Houston skripper, has been feuding with Drake for weeks. You’ll recall, she called the police on Drizzy, claiming that he had threatened her with the goons.

Well Jhonni’s relationship with Drake is continuing to sour. Something popped off between the two, which led Jhonni to leak the below pic, which was ALLEGEDLY sent to her during a conversation with Drake. The number it was sent from is DEFINITELY Drake’s.

Huh. Well, I guess that’s all very exciting, if you’re into that sort of thing. I had to keep from throwing up in my mouth when looking at the explicit photo (which is NSFW, obvs, and behind the cut), but you may be into it… Enjoy!

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Gwyneth Paltrow swears she can’t wait to “age gracefully”

gwyneth paltrow

Ugh, why can’t Gwyneth Paltrow ever do anything that’s not totally annoying? I was hemming and hawing on which GP story to cover today: her Goop “must-have” Christmas list which includes a $4k vase (among other monstrosities) or the fact that, despite admittedly getting Botox (which she later described as “vain”), she swears she’s into “aging gracefully”. LOL to that, but we’re going with the latter.

Here’s what she had to say in a piece she wrote for Stylist magazine:

“I know it’s a cliché, but I really do subscribe to the ‘age gracefully’ thing. You can fight it to a degree, but I accept the beauty of being a grown woman and the wisdom that comes with it. There’s nothing fun about being at that young age where you don’t know yourself and you’re struggling so much to accept yourself. There are cases where younger women really are integrated in themselves, but personally it took me a long time I wouldn’t go back for anything!

I’m not the type to look in the mirror and study my looks. God no! I’d rather die than be studying my face like that! I just brush my teeth and try to get dressed and get everyone up. The morning is definitely not the time when I look in the mirror. I don’t tend to wear much make-up either. If I’m working, I’ll wear a lot, obviously, but in my own life I’m very much a mascara and lip gloss kind of person. I do try – especially in the last five years – to be good about washing my face properly then exfoliating and moisturising before bed. Taking an inside-out approach to beauty has always been my philosophy – that and sleep, good nutrition and a bit of exercise – especially when it comes to skin.”

She goes on and on from there, contemplating her navel about society’s standards set for women, self-acceptance, her love of mascara, etc. Talk about vain. If Goopy does really lay off the Botox and whatever other cosmetic procedures she gets which she still files under the “aging gracefully” canopy, good for her. Or, if she wants to go full on Kris Jenner and go under the knife 80 times a year, that’s cool too – just own it. The worst thing about people in Hollywood, particularly women (since they are indeed held to a higher standard) is when they lie about how they look the way they do. It’s all well and good to say you look after yourself, but let’s be honest: part of that regime in Hollywood means personal chefs, private trainers, thousands of dollars on facials and massages and makeup artists… it’s hardly what the rest of us do, and that’s fine. But don’t pretend otherwise.

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Katy Perry doesn’t know what ‘Lolita’ really means

katy perry

Y’all know I stan for Katy Perry all day, e’ry day, as they say, but I will have to call a queen out when I see something that’s not quite right. Today’s offense? Katy posing a picture of herself in lingerie and captioning it with something about how she’s “feeling v Lolita rn”. Uh, no.

I know Katy gets off on wanting to be/pretending to be a teenage girl all the time, but like, has she actually read Lolita? Like, does she get the cultural and literary significance? Something tells me not, because there is nothing Lolita-like in that picture, sorry.

Katy does not look like an underage seductress here. She doesn’t look like a teenager, even. She looks like a 30-year-old woman, just like she is. A sexy, beautiful 30-year-old woman, NOT a little girl. That’d be creepy as shit anyway. Why won’t she own that? I sure as shit women who are grown would just be grown.

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Here’s your new ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ trailer

fifty shades of grey trailer

Is it 50 Shades of Grey? Fifty Shades of Grey? I prefer the former but I’ve seen the latter a lot lately, so we’re going to switch things up a bit. However you prefer to stylize your numbers, one thing is for certain: that shitty Twilight fanfiction turned hit book series and now soon to be movie has released a new trailer that’s sure to get you ladies as wet as the Sahara down below. Seriously, take a look:

Okay, so let me get this right. Christian Grey is a sexual predator who is basically a total control freak and kind of an asshole, but hey, it’s okay – she likes it. She just never knew she could like it so much. Hurts so good, etc, right? I mean, this is fucking AWFUL. That’s not to say that S&M is awful, or that people can’t have whatever type of relationship they damn well want to have so long as it’s two consenting adults, but like… really? Really with this?

That being said, I will probably be forced to see this garbage, so I’d better try and warm to it now, I suppose.

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Kirk Cameron thinks women need to stay in the kitchen this Christmas

kirk cameron

Kirk Cameron, beloved TV star from our childhood and devout, evangelical Christian, has an important message to share with us womenfolk this holiday season: Stay in the kitchen where you belong. After all, ladies, it’s our job to make sure the house looks nice and to prepare glorious feasts to set at our men’s feet in a gesture of devotion and humility. What are you waiting for? Get in there and start cooking!

I’ll paste this delightful nugget of ignorance and fuckery below, but in case you’re at work and can’t watch it (or you just don’t want to look at his stupid face), here’s what he’s said:

“If you are a mom, if you are a wife, if you’re the keeper of your home, I want you to know that your joy is so important this Christmas. Because Christmas is about joy and if the joy of the Lord is your strength, remember, the joy of the mom is her children’s strength, so don’t let anything steal your joy.”

“If you let your joy get stolen, it will sap your strength. Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way that you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep. Invite your whole neighborhood into your Christmas, and invite the world into our story of our king and his kingdom.”

You know what steals my joy? Kirk Cameron. This guy needs to fuck off.

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