Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan might be going back to jail

Lindsay Lohan

Man, Lindsay Lohan just can’t catch a break. Not only has she been hospitalized with the Chikungunya virus, but now she’s failed her most recent community service assessment and may end up going to jail.

Lindsay is due in court Wednesday to prove she completed her community service in connection with her 2012 reckless driving case … where she slammed into an 18-wheeler on PCH.

She was required to perform 240 hours of community service, but on November 6, 2014 — when she was required to show proof of completion — her lawyer, Shawn Holley, told hizzoner LiLo had completed nearly HALF the hours.

So the judge set a second date for Lindsay to show proof of completion — next Wednesday. But TMZ has learned Lindsay isn’t even close to finishing.

Her excuse … the community service center in London was closed for 2 weeks during the holidays and she ended up in the hospitalwith a mosquito virus. Here’s the problem … she got the virus while vacationing in Bora Bora, instead of putting in her time.

Oh, dear. This would all be fine and well if, you know, it was her first time fucking up, but you KNOW it wasn’t.

– 2009 … Lindsay failed to complete her alcohol ed program
– 2010 … Bench warrant issued after Lindsay was a no show, claiming she was in Cannes and her passport was stolen
– 2010 … Bench warrant issued after her SCRAM bracelet went off at the MTV Music Awards after party
– 2010 … Lindsay failed to complete her alcohol ed program
– 2010 … Lindsay allegedly beats up a woman at Betty Ford
– 2010 … Probation revoked after cocaine found in her system
– 2013 … Late to court after missing a flight

SMH. Book ‘er!

Of course she’ll use the virus as an excuse this time, but she didn’t have the virus when she went on vacation, so that has nothing to do with anything. Of course, because she’s white and rich, the judge will buy it and she’ll get a slap on the wrist for the 18th time and be sent on her way. I’m very sorry she’s ill, but this case has NOTHING to do with that and dates back 5 years, so…

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People are freaking out over a picture of Willow Smith’s boobs that don’t exist

willow smith

Sure, everyone would pretty much agree that Willow Smith, who is now 14 years old, has always been a bit ahead of her time and is probably growing up too fast. That being said, all of Instagram got in a tizzy yesterday when Willow posted the above photo of herself and commenters began ranting about how a child could post a photo of her breasts on the Internet. WHAT ABOUT THE PEDOPHILES?!

Well, anyone with a set of eyes and a working brain can tell that Willow is wearing a t-shirt (less obviously, it’s a Jean-Paul Gaultier t-shirt) and that no, she has not posed topless. Even large entertainment publications were losing their shit, with Life&Style going so far as to call the top “nothing short of provocative”. Uh… okey doke.

It’s a t-shirt with breasts on it. So what? If she was wearing a top that showed a man’s naked top half, I guarantee you it would never have been reposted or caused such an uproar, but since it’s a woman… of course it’s “provocative” or “inappropriate”. Newsflash, puritans – women have breasts and it’s not a big deal.

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Jennifer Garner just can’t diet anymore

jennifer garner

I think we can all agree that Jennifer Garner is an extremely slim woman. In no way is she overweight, and in fact she may even be underweight (or at the very least, on the lower side of “normal”, according to the bullshit BMI). However, she lives in Hollywood where you can never be too rich or too thin, and even Jen has felt that pressure. Too bad, though – she can’t diet anymore, because she’s done too much of it in the past.

Here’s what she had to say to Bobbi Brown in an interview with Yahoo Beauty:

BB: Does your husband eat the way you do? Are you both on the same page in terms of health and eating?

JG: He will eat the way I do unless he’s in the middle of really, really training for something. And then, it’s such a different thing. Every calorie and every gram of protein—everything’s counted in a way that… I don’t know how he does it.

BB: What happens when you come home from an awards ceremony and you’re like, OK, I haven’t eaten in two days to get into this dress. What is your go-to splurge? Pizza?

JG: Oh, I never do that. I don’t wear crazy dresses. With food I’m probably good 80% of the time. I’ve found out that I cannot pass up pizza without having some. I just can’t! My kids have a lot of pizza. I can’t go to a kids birthday party without having a slice.

BB: So, while most people will diet themselves to get into a dress, you actually look for a dress that looks good on you.

JG: Yeah, exactly!

BB: That makes so much sense.

JG: I mean, believe me, there’s always a point in the fitting where I feel like, ‘Why I didn’t I just try to lose four pounds and then I could wear any dress?’ I just can’t though. I dieted for so long in the middle of doing Alias and being a superhero, that there’s something in me that can’t do anything that extreme.

Well, good for you. But if your biggest problem is that you could stand to lose FOUR POUNDS, uh… girl, you don’t need to “diet”. Your weight can fluctuate four pounds in a DAY based on water weight, hormones, etc. Good lord.

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There’s a new trailer for ‘The Walking Dead’!

the walking dead

Who’s still watching The Walking Dead? Admittedly, I fell off a while back – somewhere after they found that abandoned prison and that General guy came into it. There’s no reason I stopped watching, I just got busy, though I do keep meaning to catch up because I think shit got REALLY crazy after that.

Season 5 continues next month, however, so I still have a little while to catch up if I binge watch. The trailer for ‘Another Day’ looks intense (as usual) and anxiety-inducing, which is why I liked the show to begin with. Check it out below!

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One Direction Liam Payne wants to bring McDonald’s to the children of Ghana

liam payne

One Direction‘s talent lies in… I dunno, getting on planes and turning up to stadiums full of screaming pre-teens who love them just because they exist and are moderately attractive. Oh, and I guess they have a couple catchy songs. In any case, it’s pretty safe to say that the group’s talent does NOT lie in being particularly smart. I mean, sure, Liam Payne probably meant well by the rant he shared with Twitter about the state of world affairs, but the execution left a bit (okay, a LOT) to be desired.

liam payne

I mean, guys, this is serious. The people of Ghana can’t even get a McDonald’s! This is terrible.

In all seriousness, though, I do get what Liam is going for here, and I do think he means well – he’s trying to say that there’s a massive imbalance between rich and poor in this world and it’s troubling to see (though I would also like to see how much of his millions he donates to causes that help alleviate this rather than just tweeting about it). However, 1D fans are dumb, so watch them all go out and try to buy McDonald’s gift cards to send to Africa or something. You think I’m being sarcastic, but… nope.

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Lindsay Lohan’s been hospitalized with the Chikungunya virus

lindsay lohan

It was only a few weeks ago when Lindsay Lohan‘s vacation was nearly ruined after she contracted a case of the mosquito-borne Chikungunya virus. She seemed to be soldiering on, not wanting to miss out on precious yachting time, but apparently it’s got the better of her again and she’s been so ill that she was forced to seek treatment at a London hospital.

Lindsay Lohan is in a London hospital with a rare, incurable virus she apparently picked up in Bora Bora … TMZ has learned.

We’re told Lindsay contracted Chikungunya, a virus transmitted by mosquito bites that causes fever, joint pain and fatigue.

Lindsay vacationed in Bora Bora over the holidays and then flew to L.A. to shoot an Esurance commercial … we believe for the Super Bowl.

Lindsay began complaining of the illness just before New Year’s. She then went back to London where she became so ill she couldn’t walk.

Lindsay is currently in King Edward VII’s Hospital … the same place the Queen gets treated. They’re keeping Lindsay because she has a high fever and the joint pain is unbearable. As for her prognosis … we’re told the joint pain could last for months.

Oh man, that’s not very fun. You really don’t have anything in life if you don’t have your health, and being in constant pain to the point that you can’t walk or do anything is so depressing and awful. No matter what you think of Lindsay Lohan, I don’t think anyone deserves to be ill/in pain (except maybe child molesters or some shit, but you get my point).

Hope you recover soon, LiLo.

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Zooey Deschanel is going to marry the dude that knocked her up

jacob pechenik zooey deschanel

The last time I checked, it was 2015, right? I’m not just imagining that? I wanted to double check, because some puritanical bullshit is still going down in this country whereby women are getting knocked up by dudes and then a week later, announcing that they’re engaged to said dude because, I dunno, I guess if you’re having a baby with someone, the Bible says he needs to be your husband? Nevermind that they’re doing it the wrong way around, but whatevs! Zooey Deschanel is marrying the father of her future child, Jacob Pechenik!

Love, marriage, and a baby carriage! Pregnant Zooey Deschanel is engaged to boyfriend Jacob Pechenik, her rep confirms to Us Weekly.

The happy news comes one week after the New Girl actress, 35, and her producer fiance, 42, confirmed that they’re expecting their first child together. Deschanel is due to give birth to the little one this summer.

Well, good for them, I guess. I’m sure this will totally be a long and fruitful marriage, considering it was borne out of the fact that she forgot to take her pill one morning or he didn’t pull out quick enough. Anyhoo… congrats!

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