Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rihanna wants a “big, trimmed d*ck” for Christmas

rihanna

Rihanna must be ready to release some new music soon, as she’s come out of her lengthy hibernation and has started putting herself out there again. It’s good to see, and her new interview with Elle is obscene, hilarious and totally why we love her.

For instance, can you guess what RiRi wants for Christmas? “A big, trimmed dick”, of course. Oh, okay. Here’s more (from Gossip Cop):

Elsewhere in the interview, Rihanna gives further insight into her love life. Asked what has been the “sexiest thing a man has ever said” to her, Rihanna replies, “Any man that tells me what to do is sexy!” And, interestingly, she also says that if she wasn’t a singer right now, she’d be a “wife.” And possibly one with kids, although Rihanna further admits her “worst fear” is “childbirth.”

The Q&A also features Rihanna declining to confess the craziest thing she’s ever done. “That’s still a secret,” she says, further sharing that one of the things that “people misunderstand” about her is that she’s “shy.” That’s not to say that Rihanna isn’t also confident or willing to stand her ground. Asked for her mantra, Rihanna declares, “F*ck bitches, get money!”

Ha. More photos from the shoot below. Gotta love Rihanna.

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Reese Witherspoon had another run-in with police (but she was sober this time)

reese witherspoon parking

I think we all know by now that Reese Witherspoon and police don’t really mix. When last the twain met, Reese went away in handcuffs, drunk and crying about her rights as an American. This time around, things were a little better: she was sober and managed to get herself out of a ticket for an illegal parking job.

From TMZ:

Reese Witherspoon may have found a police officer who knows who she is … and that could be how she charmed her way out of a parking ticket.

Reese was leaving boxing class in Brentwood Monday afternoon when she came across a traffic cop who was writing her a ticket. But Reese flashed that smile and the officer responded by cutting her a break.

An official from the L.A. Department of Transportation tells TMZ … Reese got to the officer “prior to completing the citation” … therefore it stands to reason the officer had started to write her up.

The official adds, “The individual was allowed to depart as would any other motorists in a similar circumstance.”

Huh, I thought most cops were assholes with a quota to fill and if they’d started writing the ticket, you were out of luck either way? Must just be the perks of celebrity.

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Eva Mendes steps out for the first time since giving birth to Ryan Gosling’s baby

eva mendes

Ryan Gosling has already gone back to work on a new movie after welcoming his first child with girlfriend Eva Mendes about six weeks ago. Now Eva has stepped out, looking really good and ready to shoot a commercial in Los Angeles.

Not much else to report on this one – just some star-spotting and an, “Oh my, doesn’t she look SLIM for just having given birth?!” on behalf of People (who originally posted the photo).

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Jamie Dornan’s penis won’t be in ’50 Shades of Grey’

jamie dornan

We already knew that the 50 Shades of Grey movie was going to suck because a) the story itself sucks and b) they’re taking out all the rough sex, which was, you know, kinda the point of the book series. Well, now it gets even realer for those hoping for something to touch themselves to: Jamie Dornan won’t be showing his penis as Christian Grey. Oh, dear.

From The Guardian:

When asked how graphic the film is, he pauses, weighs his answer. “You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic.”

So no sex then? “Sam is a very bright woman, so there might be some suggestive elements to it, but I haven’t seen it at this stage, so it is hard for me to say. I’m aware of what we shot, and it wasn’t as if we shot a film without any action.”

Was he completely in the nude? “There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um…”

Todger? He laughs. “Yeah, my todger.”

Not like Ewan McGregor, then. He has it written into his contracts that his must be seen, at every possible opportunity. The laugh again. “Does he? Well, maybe Ewan has a more impressive girth.”

Always impressive when a grown man can’t seem to use the word “penis”, but whatever. I’m not quite sure how they’re going to fill 2 hours of screentime considering they seem to have cut out everything from the book, but who knows. I’m surprised this thing isn’t going to have a PG-13 rating, from all the “news” we’ve been hearing about it.

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The Daily Links

pharrell

Is anyone else really into Pharrell‘s Instagram account? [Socialite Life]

Is Miley Cyrus dating Patrick Schwarzenegger? [Lainey Gossip]

Here are your sexiest social media pics of the week [Celebslam]

Kate Beckinsale even looks good in profile! [Popoholic]

Kate Upton had a serious Marilyn Monroe moment [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Naya Rivera wore an absolutely killer dress to the UNICEF ball [Moe Jackson]

Your new X-Men star (as Gambit) is… Channing Tatum! [I'm Not Obsessed]

Katy Perry dressed as a giant Cheeto is a bit weird [The Blemish]

Were Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Hollywood’s most awkward couple? [theBERRY]

Here’s some babes posing for Kid Richards, if you’re into that [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Benedict Cumberbatch thinks Sherlock is a good lay [The Frisky]

Are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin planning on getting back together? [Celebitchy]

Janet Jackson has made her first public appearance in over a year [Too Fab]

Marvel has unveiled its Phase 3 Superhero lineup [PopBytes]

Kim Kardashian has pretty high hopes for North West [ICYDK]

Here’s Jessica Wright‘s bra in a see-through shirt [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

What’s going on with Zac Efron‘s new haircut? [Celebuzz]

Would you go to an Anne of Green Gables wedding? [Romance Beat]

Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo share an intimate moment [Socialite Life]

Keira Knightley is so boring… so so boring [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Jennifer Lopez eternally looks amazing, you must admit [Lainey Gossip]

This is what Ariana Grande looks like in sweatpants [Celebslam]

Selena Gomez is dropping some beautiful and plentiful cleavage [Popoholic]

Sveva Alviti is rocking that bikini on the beach [Moe Jackson]

Guess who’s ready to go on tour? It’s Taylor Swift! [I'm Not Obsessed]

Let’s see what all the celebs wore for Halloween [The Blemish]

Shay Mitchell is trying to get sexy for Instagram [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Lindsay Lohan really loves taking selfies, clearly [theBERRY]

Emma Watson dedicated an award to her dead hamster [The Frisky]

Jennifer Aniston loved not wearing makeup for ‘Cake’ [Celebitchy]

What do we think of Kylie Jenner‘s grey hair [Too Fab]

Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed have a new member of their family [Celebuzz]