So Scream 4 premieres in theaters on Friday. Are you guys pretty excited? I am. I love cheesy horror movies, and the Scream movies, while not all that scary, were always pretty good. They make me think of my later high school years, and how cheesy that was, and all in all, it’s good, cheesy memory-making fun. I mean, I can’t really take anything seriously that David Arquette has done since then (or, wait … ever), and it’s going to be cool to see the Courteney Cox evolution that’s occurred over the past decade, and hell, whatever Neve Campbell‘s been doing aside from riding the Scream royalties, so yeah. Good times. It’s also pretty interesting to see how uncomfortable Courteney looks next to her ‘best friend,’ David, and how you just KNOW that Neve is on the prowl for some hot young dude (not David) since her divorce.

And also, did Matthew Lillard (Scream‘s original Stu) have some kind of stroke? That, and Nia Vardalos, who is absolutely adorable and whom I LOVE really needs to have some pose-coaching, because that pose she struck on the red carpet? Just … wow. And one last thing, I promise – why the fuck was Marilyn Manson and his fat hands there? … OK, sorry, I lied: Jamie Kennedy? Guys, he’s looking just so fine. SO SO FINE.

Anyway. You guys gonna go see it?

I know a lot of you probably thought, ‘Damn, if this is what happens when you set up camp on the sidewalk of a busy metropolitan area, I’m going to do my hipster brooding elsewhere,’ you’re wrong – Samantha Ronson was not hit BY a bicycle, she was ON a bicycle that biffed.

Sam claims that while riding her BMX, she swerved to avoid an oncoming car and took her face out instead. She posted this photo on her Twitter along with the caption “Wear a helmet kids!!! Let this be a lesson… if you have a driver’s license you probably don’t need to be on a bmx bike.”

Speedy recoveries to Ronson, who ended up with something like nine stitches in her grill. … Damn, baby.

Alright, guys! Today is the first round of weekly winners for the Evil Beet Caption This contests. Check them out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

To the rest, keep at it – I’ll be choosing the winner of this photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The week’s winner on last week’s Charlie Sheen photo: LegalEase
“No, seriously guys…I once had a herpes sore on my cock that was THIS BIG! Porn Star Goddesses = winning, duh.”

1st Runner-Up: Can’tBeatSheen
“We need to hack up the person responsible for this bad connection. Hack him up into pieces in front of his children. We need to cut off his face and wear it and go on a very tightly budgeted shopping spree in stores that don’t exist yet!”

2nd Runner-Up: Stacey
“COKE HEADS…LET’S TWEAK IN UNISON!”

Congratulations to the winner, and good luck to the rest!

Man if this isn’t the hit of summer ’11, I don’t know what will be.

Above you see Snoop and his latest protege, ‘Rico,’ who’s the heterosexual equivalent of the sassy gay friend. Except he’s a squirrel. And he’s skeevy. And not at all photogenically blessed. So in reality, I guess Rico’s nothing like the sassy gay friend, aside from the fact that he’s got some suave fashion sense. Rico Suave. (You asked for it.)

For all of those who said Selma Blair was fat. [The Superficial]

Rihanna does a Britney remix. [Bossip]

The Situation is driving a Ferrari now. Aren’t you kicking yourself that you didn’t hook up with him that night at the shore? [TMZ]

Robin Wright (Penn) rocking one of the worst haircuts a woman can get. [Lainey Gossip]

So, what, Dita von Teese is dating Brendan Fraser or something? [ICYDK]

The first photos of Tina Fey‘s baby bump. [Socialite Life]

Kirstie Alley has another mishap on DWTS. [Huffington Post]

Now that Billy Ray and Tish are back together, Miley‘s raising her younger siblings. [Celebuzz]

David Hyde Pierce (or just ‘Niles’) plays an awesome psychotic. [Pajiba]

Jen Sterger is pathetic, needs to stop talking about Brett Favre’s offensive penis. [IDLYITW]

Did Taylor Swift slam stay-at-home moms? [Cele|Bitchy]

Adele + Britney = ‘Rolling ‘Til the World Ends’ [The Frisky]

So Tori Spelling, huh? In the news now, what, twice in a ten days? It’s gotta be some kind of record for girlfriend! Last week you saw photos of a healthy-looking Tori, and even some of you in the comments claimed that she was probably pregnant. Well guess what – ding ding ding! – you were right!

Tori and her husband Dean confirmed through Twitter last night that she is carrying child number three for the couple. It doesn’t come entirely as a surprise, as she’s been photographed wearing baggy dresses for some time now, and actually looks like she’s been drinking water (and what a difference it makes, right?), but congratulations to the family anyway. Even though their reality show sucks, they make cute kids, and come on: who DOESN’T love to look at adorable children?