Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jennifer Lawrence unveils new Dior campaign

jennifer lawrence dior

Jennifer Lawrence has already appeared in one successful (and beautiful!) Dior campaign, but a new season will be upon us sooner rather than later – I hope, anyway! This winter has SUCKED! – so it’s time for some new shots of Jen with some pretty clothes and bags and… a crocheted cardigan? Okay, let’s do this thing!

jennifer lawrence 7

The sweater is weird, right? We’re all on the same page about that? I mean, it’s Dior, so it probably costs about $1500, but it definitely looks like something your Memaw buys at a tag sale for .50c and maybe that’s the beauty of it.

More photos below, as well as a behind-the-scene video since we haven’t really been paying much attention to JLaw around these parts lately.

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Chris Brown: ‘Rihanna will never do better than me’

chris brown

Chris Brown is such a walking bag of dicks that I long ago lost words to describe him any more coherently or intelligently. He just fucking sucks. Funny enough, though, HE doesn’t think he sucks. In fact, he thinks he’s pretty amazing and that any woman should be so lucky to have him. Especially Rihanna! Yep, that’s right. Chris actually claimed during an interview with The Breakfast Club that Rihanna will never do better than him.

Here’s what he said when asked about Kanye West‘s line of “If you leave Mickey, you gon’ end up with Goofy/I imagine that’s what Chris told Karrueche” line in some Big Sean track that I don’t know or care about (not because I don’t love hip hop but because Big Sean is corny as hell).

Anyhooooooo…

“I feel what he meant by it, and I’m not just saying it as an arrogant statement. In any situation, when you look at yourself in a certain light – cocky or not – there’s nowhere else to go. Even with [Rihanna], who else you gonna go to? [...] Who else in this game she gonna go to? Some corny singing rapper? What she do now, I got respect for her and all that, whatever her choice is. But at the time, not to toot my own own, but who hotter than me?”

The curry I ate for dinner is hotter than you, Chris Brown. Literally everything on this planet is hotter than you.

But I mean, come on, maybe Chris is right. How good did Rihanna have it with him? He only beat the shit out of her and refused to apologize or show any remorse about it and instead raged by breaking windows and ripping his shirt off like The Hulk whenever anyone dared to point his violent behavior out to him. I’m sure he was an AWESOME boyfriend!

Also, not to point out the obvious here, but maybe it’s Chris that’s ended up with a Goofy, considering he ended up with a woman who… kinda looks exactly like Rihanna (or is doing her best impersonation). Get out of my face.

Oh, and one more thing – Chris also has thoughts on the whole Tyga/Kylie Jenner situation:

“Whatever decision my man wanna make, I’ma rock with him. I ain’t gonna fight none of his battles, but it’s just like whatever decision you make. We see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, so I feel like I’ll just tell him ‘Aye man, if you was dating some regular weak chick, you wouldn’t be talked about, nobody would care.”

If you want to torture yourself, you can watch/listen to the whole thing here. You can also skip to about the 27 minute mark, where Chris – classy, classy Chris – talks about wanting to get both Rihanna and Karreuche pregnant at the same time.

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Kim Kardashian pays assistant $100,000 to Photoshop her pics

kim kardashian

I feel like this is a day of completely obvious news, but whatever, here we are. Kim Kardashian has really upped her Photoshop game lately – no more warped backgrounds! This isn’t dumb luck, it’s business. Kim has apparently hired a professional Photoshop assistant that she pays $100k to make her look… well, the way she looks.

A source tells OKMagazine.com exclusively, “Kim used to ask a friend to fix up photos, but it would take hours. She finally decided to hire a pro who can be on call 24/7.”

And having your pictures edited does not come cheap! Kim “reportedly pays the pro $100,000 a year.” And the expert “has to keep a phone on all night, in case she’s traveling.”

But what about the original shots? In order to make sure the original photos never see the light of day, “She had the expert sign a nondisclosure agreement promising to destroy all the originals.”

I mean, I guess we can’t really shade Kim – after all, she’s never been a fan of “natural beauty” and doesn’t really get off on the whole “self-empowerment via acceptance of the way you actually look” thing, so of course she Photoshops the shit out of her selfies. Of course she finds it worthwhile to spend $100,000 on vanity instead of giving it to charities or any number of causes that are less narcissistic. Of course.

What do you think, guys? Worth the investment?

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Jamie Dornan wants out of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ sequels

jamie dornan fifty shades

Welp, can’t say this is at all surprising. First, franchise director Sam Taylor-Johnson tries to get out of her contract, and now Jamie Dornan is apparently desperate to avoid any further affiliation with the Fifty Shades of Grey movies and has no interest in portraying Christian Grey ever again. Uh oh…

From The Mirror:

The actor is thought to have stopped his brief relationship with the films early because his wife doesn’t want him to star in any more, it has been claimed.

Actress Amelia Warner, who has a 15-month-old daughter with the star, is said to be unhappy with him acting out the explicit sex scenes in the controversial film.

And Jamie, from Holywood, Co Down, has been left reeling by a barrage of scathing reviews for the movie adaptation of the risque S&M book.

Australian magazine NW claims the 32-year-old has told film bosses he won’t be back as kinky businessman Christian Grey for parts two and three.

While it might be true that Jamie’s wife isn’t really feeling the role, I feel like it’s far more likely that Jamie himself is sick of the bullshit – frankly, I think he probably was sick of it the second the ink dried on the contract. He actually IS a decent actor – again, see The Fall if you want to see the scope of his skills – so it was a bit disheartening to discover he’d taken on the roll at all. I know money talks, but absolute bullshit walks, and Fifty Shades certainly qualifies as bullshit (and that’s being kind).

What will be the biggest joke is that they’ll still make the second and third movies with another actor. Dakota Johnson will stay, of course, because she’s got the personality of wet cardboard and as much chance of getting a decent role otherwise as I have of being Taylor Swift‘s next BFF. In other words, she’s there to stay – how hard is it to bite your lip, anyway?

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Patricia Arquette won bigtime at the Oscars… and then lost in the press room

patricia arquette

It was no surprise when Patricia Arquette won the Best Supporting Actress award at last night’s Oscars, but what was surprising – refreshingly so – was her speech, which included a call to arms for all women to stand up and demand equal pay and rights once and for all. Everyone was all for it – Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez in particular really seemed on board – because let’s face it, she’s got a great point. It seemed rather early on that Patricia Arquette was going to be the hero of the night.

And then came the post-ceremony interviews in the press room…

In case you can’t watch or are just too lazy (I feel you), here’s where problems arose:

“And, it’s time for all the women in America, and all the men that love women, and all the gay people, and all the people of color that we’ve all fought for, to fight for us now.”

Uh… I mean yeah, equality between the sexes is an important cause and something we really need to work towards, but really? “We helped you, black people – now do something for us white ladies” doesn’t really go over that well, especially considering white women still have it a LOT better than black women do in this country.

Did Patricia mean to be so thoughtless? Likely not, but people should really think more before they speak in future. Yikes!

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Jack Osbourne and wife Lisa expecting second child

jack osbourne lisa stelly

I think this is absolutely adorable and I’m not quite sure why – Jack Osbourne and his wife Lisa announced this weekend that they’re expecting their second child together! The announcement came via a picture of Lisa with their 2-year-old daughter Pearl leaning against her belly bump and it’s just a lot of cuteness at once. I don’t know how Jack Osbourne and his wife manage to be cute where others would seem obnoxious as shit doing the same thing, but let’s just go with it.


Supprise!!!!! #round2 #babyinbound http://raddestmom.com/

A photo posted by Jack Osbourne (@jackosbourne) on

This news is especially welcome for the couple since Lisa suffered a miscarriage in late 2013, and of course they’ve been dealing with Jack’s MS diagnosis (it’s currently in remission).

Lisa further elaborated on her website:

I’m pregnant! Pearl is very happy to become a big sister. She diligently reads her “I’m a big sister” books every night & recites to me her plans of bathing, feeding, singing to, and holding the baby. We are more than halfway through this thing & are very excited to be parents again! Thanks for all the well wishes :)

Very cute little family – congrats to them!

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Kesha wants you to rescue kitty cats

kesha

Kesha has generally been keeping things low key, but she still wants to use her profile for something useful, like rescuing cute furry things! She stopped by Cosmopolitan while in NYC to visit some cats that need adopting from the Human Society of New York. What resulted was really adorable all around.

I’m more of a dog person myself, but I have had cats in life and I can’t resist any cute animals, so I love this.

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