According to the National Enquirer:

“Owen wanted the freedom to do what he wanted with his friends, both male and female, while remaining a family unit with Jade and the baby,’ an insider told the National Enquirer. ‘But Jade wasn’t willing to go along with that, so Owen decided to end things with her instead of cheating behind her back.”

Of all the sleazy, disgusting things I’ve heard: Owen Wilson doesn’t want to get married because he wants the freedom to be able to sleep with other women. I mean, hey. That’s cool, Owen. I’m sure there’s a ton of women out there willing to take on your myriad emotional issues and substance abuse problems, so have at it. All you need to do is alienate the woman who took a chance on your ass and had a child with you and there you have it: pure Wedding Crashers-esque gold. Just … not as funny or entertaining.

Of course, as the sourced information is out of the Enquirer, it might be a stretch, but I can totally see it happening. A lot of people tend to forget where they came from and I definitely can see Owen Wilson getting up on his haughty horse to be one of them, don’t you?

These are recent photos of Christina Aguilera, leaving a recording studio in LA earlier in the week.

I give Christina props – she dropped the horrible red lipstick, pancake foundation, and fugly baloney curls and went with the more natural look that we all pretty much agreed flatters her probably more than anything else at this point possibly could.

Her hair still looks fried out and frizzy, but the crimps are way more stylish than the 40′s flapper type, and her face is still as round and puffy as the moon, but dude. The only thing that’s going to rectify that is PUTTING THE BOTTLE DOWN and BACKING AWAY FROM IT SLOWLY.

On the whole, looking good, girl – I’m feeling this whole sanitary look!

Apparently Justin Bieber‘s new perfume, Someday, is filling its intended purpose: driving men around the world wild.

Bieber was at Macy’s in Manhattan yesterday promoting his latest, um, creative endeavor, and on his way out of the store, security somehow lapsed (no doubt driven to to the brink of sensual, lax insanity by the sweet effects of Justin’s mad perfumery skills), Justin took advantage of it and went to a non-secure area, and a non-Justin Bieber fan launched himself over a concrete barrier and tackled Justin. LOL! Could you imagine? Seeing little, scrawny Justin Bieber knocked down by a grown-ass man?

What REALLY happened, though, was that the “man” was a plainclothes police officer who was trying to protect Justin when he saw that the stupid little bitch was about to be swarmed by 500 people because he’s Justin Bieber and Justin Bieber doesn’t have to follow rules, even those put in place for his own safety.

The cop jumped Justin to protect him, and when a store security guard tried to intervene (despite the police officer’s assertations that he was, indeed, a long arm of the law), the security guard was restrained and taken into custody.

Way to ruin a guy’s day, Justin.

Have you seen this cover for Haute Muse magazine? Bonnie Wright (the chick that plays Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter movies – now you’re in the know) is looking FABULOUS.

In watching the movies as Bonnie grew before our eyes, I always thought that she was going to be absolutely gorgeous when she got older. And I’m right – she totally is. The only bit of snark I’ve got for this? When she talks, her mouth does weird things. I’m not really sure what’s going on there, but it’s evident to me at least.

Whatever. She’s cute, she’s talented, and she’s well-spoken. It’s not nearly as bad as what’s going on with Katy Perry these days. Katy’s got almost the opposite problem: she looks good ’til she opens her mouth and then ruins the whole fucking thing with the stupid things she says.

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield caught on camera. [Lainey Gossip]

Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend really thinks he’s hot shit. [Starpulse]

Ice T and Coco are planning to have a baby? [Bossip]

Unheard Nirvana songs being released. [Huff Po]

Octomom rips the man who made her (in)famous. [TMZ]

Shia LeBeouf is SO FUNNY. [LA Times]

Yeah, Lindsay had to go to court this morning for violating probation, and no, she’s not going to jail. It turns out that even though she failed a urine test for booze and even though she refused to take a couple of drug and alcohol tests last month, she’d only been ordered to take the drug and alcohol tests until February, so it doesn’t even matter.  So basically, today the judge was like “ok, no more parties, and you can only have one friend over at a time, but if you’re cool with that, then you can booze it up to your heart’s content.  Hey, you can even shoot up if you feel like it, we’re not going to know.” Cute story, huh?

But I don’t want to get into how ridiculous Lindsay’s whole long, sordid affair with the legal system is – I just thought you might like an update – because my real interest is in her court clothes.  For real, this girl picks the worst things to wear to court.  I think today’s outfit is the best so far though, by a long shot.  However, I would like to start a discussion about ladies with larger busts wearing button-ups.  Is there a way to do it without that awkward gap that Lindsay has going on?