Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Avril Lavigne was bed-bound for five months and thought she would die

avril lavigne

The last we heard from Avril Lavigne, we actually… hadn’t heard anything at all. She’d gone quiet, only thanking fans for their continued prayers as she battled some kind of illness that most were speculating was actually a trip to rehab. However, the truth has finally been revealed, and it wasn’t drugs that got Avril down, but Lyme disease.

From People:

“I had no idea a bug bite could do this,” says Lavigne, who believes she was bit by a tick sometime last spring. “I was bedridden for five months.”

The Canadian singer has been recuperating at her home in Ontario, where she spends time with family, watches movies and keeps up with fans through social media.

“I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t move,” she says. “I thought I was dying.”

“There were definitely times I couldn’t shower for a full week because I could barely stand,” she says. “It felt like having all your life sucked out of you.”

And while she had her share of dark moments, one thing that helped her get through the long days was knowing her fans were out there, waiting for her to get better.

“They were asking about me since I was MIA, so I mentioned to one fan directly that I wasn’t feeling good,” Lavigne says, referencing a private Twitter message in December that went viral. “The get-well messages and videos they sent touched me so deeply.”

Apparently she’s 80% better now – her mom had to move in to take care of her for months while she recuperated. That sounds rough – I knew Lyme disease was serious, but I had no idea it was THAT serious. Glad she’s feeling better and is back on her feet.

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Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs are engaged, according to T-Pain

robert pattinson fka twigs

Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs have been dating for a while now – and by “a while” I mean since about last summer, which is long by Hollywood standards. They’re really well suited, I think – and apparently they think so, as well, since they’ve decided to get engaged. WOO HOO!

They didn’t announce the news themselves or anything – we found out via T-Pain, who gave an interview to New York Mag’s Vulture and let it slip (and later nervously claimed it was an April Fool’s joke, despite the fact that the interview was given days, if not weeks, before April 1st…

Will FKA Twigs be on your new album?
Well, the first time we even met each other, we met in the studio. Her music’s changed a lot since then. But she’s on tour so much, and anytime I call her, she’s in a different place. And she’s engaged now, so that’s about to be a whole other thing. [Laughs.]

Wait, she’s engaged? That’s news to me.
Yeah, to ol’ Patty [Robert Pattinson]. I don’t know if she wanted anybody to know that …

Huh. I wouldn’t really be surprised if this was true. After all, Twigs and RPattz have been inseparable since they got together and they look good together. Will it last forever and is it worth walking down the aisle for? Eh, that’s not really for me to decide (but I’m cynical so I say probably not). Either way, I do like them as a couple, so congrats!

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Jamie Dornan stalked a woman to prepare for ‘The Fall’

jamie dornan

Y’all know I love The Fall. It’s one of the best dramas that’s been on TV in the past couple of years – the script is fantastic and Jamie Dornan and Gillian Anderson really get a chance to shine every single week. It’s a shame Jamie is wasted in shit like Fifty Shades, but let’s concentrate on the good stuff, for now. Like how Jamie stalked a woman in preparation for his role as the crazed Belfast serial killer Paul Spector. Uh… what?

Here’s what he told The Los Angeles Times:

“On the tube, which is our underground system,” Dornan said, pausing before he told his story. “Can I get arrested for this? Hold on … this is a really bad reveal: I, like, followed a woman off the train one day to see what it felt like to pursue someone like that. I really kept my distance and was aware that it was kind of half-hearted.”

Dornan said it didn’t last long because the woman got off the train a few stops earlier than he was planning, but admitted, “I followed her around a couple of street corners and then was like, ‘What are you doing?’”

The 32-year-old actor added, “It felt kind of exciting, in a really sort of dirty way. I’m sort of not proud of myself. But I do honestly think I learned something from it, because I’ve obviously never done any of that. It was intriguing and interesting to enter that process of ‘What are you following her for?’ and ‘What are you trying to find out?’”

Yikes! Ladies, try to resist the whole, “Jamie Dornan can stalk me anyday!” response that wayyyy too many came out with on Facebook like they were the most clever women to ever live. That’s a pretty intense experience, but hey, I guess method acting exists for a reason.

Right, so who’s finished the second season of The Fall? I know a couple of you were working on it, but hurry it up! It needs to be discussed!

Oh, and because I care, here’s a video of part of his interview:

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Michael Jackson prank called Russell Crowe for 3 years

russell crowe

The last we heard from Russell Crowe, he was telling women in Hollywood to act their ages and not their shoe sizes. Thankfully, his most recent anecdote is far less offensive and actually kind of hilarious. In a new interview with The Guardian, Russell revealed that he was the victim of endless prank phonecalls from the late Michael Jackson… for three long years!

“For two or three fucking years,” he says. “I never met him, never shook his hand, but he found out the name I stayed in hotels under, so it didn’t matter where I was, he’d ring up do this kind of thing, like you did when you were 10, you know. ‘Is Mr Wall there? Is Mrs Wall there? Are there any Walls there? Then what’s holding the roof up? Ha ha.’ You’re supposed to grow out of doing that, right?”

And that’s literally is. There’s no context to this story, it’s never discussed again… it just is what it is. If it wasn’t Michael Jackson we were talking about here, I’d probably call bullshit, but as it stands, I think this is a totally true and pretty hilarious story. Good ole MJ – ever the prankster! “LOL”

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Turkish people think Julianne Moore’s acting sucks

julianne moore

Julianne Moore is one of the best actresses of her generation, I’d say – and I feel like most people agree with that, considering she’s got Oscars, Golden Globes and a shit ton of other awards. She’s also smart, strikingly beautiful, kind and seems to be an all-around lovely person. But not according to the people of Turkey, since they fired Julianne from a tourism campaign for her “poor acting”.

The movie star has been dropped as the face of Turkey’s tourism campaign due to her “poor acting” skills, according to the Turkish media outlet Hürriyet Daily News (via New York Daily News).

Moore reportedly filmed a promotional video titled “Home Of,” which showed her traveling in an airplane while recalling childhood memories of her visits to Turkey. Shot in Los Angeles last year, the film was supposed to air in Turkey beginning in February 2014.

But the Hürriyet Daily News reports that the country’s Culture and Tourism Ministry were unhappy with the actress’ performance and wanted her to reshoot the film. When Moore rejected their request, the project was canceled, with ministry sources citing her “poor acting” as the reason.

Damn, that’s pretty harsh! However, it’s also pretty harsh that Julianne Moore is schilling for Turkish tourism. Is money seriously that tight? Say it ain’t so! I want so much more for you! You have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, for God’s sake!

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Rebel Wilson says there’s no one her size or age in Hollywood

rebel wilson

People started going batshit for Rebel Wilson when she appeared in Bridesmaids, then really lost their minds over her when Pitch Perfect came on. A quirky, hilarious, self-described “fat girl”? Oh, behave! What joy! And yeah, she’s great – she seems really down-to-earth and like a lot of fun, and it’s great to see representations in Hollywood of bodies that aren’t stick thin. But is Rebel really the only one holding the torch? Eh… she seems to think so.

From Elle:

“You need to be physically strong for this job. I like to have the stamina to work 16 hours a day. I may eat a lot, but I am very healthy.”

On fashion: “It’s becoming important for me. I saw a lot of girls were beginning to notice what I wear and I feel a kind of responsibility, because there aren’t any women in Hollywood my size and age.”

On her career: “How I see it is, I do two types of job: dream jobs like female-driven comedies and the other job which is basically the boys’ club. I have done three big movies with men – these are talented, strong-minded males, but you have to find a way to work that system.

“Those male roles are 90% written and formed by the time the filming starts but the female roles are only 20% there. It’s unfair, but I love being funny so I improve the role, work with the limited parameters and opportunities and maximise them… If you are a woman in that situation you work harder, sharpen your skills more; you need to be two or three times as good as the guys. I just go in there and try and crush it.”

I really do hate to be the naysayer here, but I have to point out the fact that Rebel is 29 and I don’t know her weight, nor do I need to. But what about Melissa McCarthy? Gabourey Sidibe? Queen Latifah? Lena Dunham? (I know that last one’s a stretch!) Of course, I do get what Rebel’s saying – while I could name 4 other actresses there that don’t fit the standard showbiz mold, that’s literally about the only 4 that exist, which is messed up, and it’s great that she’s carved a place out for herself amongst that.

And yeah, she does crush it.

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Zayn Malik thinks he’s Bon Iver in first solo track

zayn malik

Zayn Malik only officially left One Direction about a week ago, but he’s already got a solo track out. Produced by big-time UK producer Naughty Boy (who did a lot with Sam Smith), the song is called “I Won’t Mind” and frankly doesn’t sound anything like Zayn… but I say that not knowing what the guy really sounds like. I wish this was an April Fool’s joke, but alas…

What this track DOES sound like is a Bon Iver B-Side that thankfully didn’t make it to the album, down to the super-dubbed vocals and the echoing percussion that fades the track out. It’s not particularly good and I feel like Zayn probably only recorded this for shits and giggles rather than with the intent of putting it out in any kind of official capacity because it just doesn’t cut the mustard.

But here, you have a listen:

Considering that this kid has whinged on and on about how he doesn’t want to be famous and wants a normal life – and considering Naughty Boy was the one who originally posted the track online – I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and figure he probably didn’t want this out. Especially since it’s pretty shitty.

Oh, and Louis Tomlinson, Zayn’s former 1D bandmate, is NOT happy about all this – he and Naughty Boy got in a huge Twitter spat over the track leak since apparently Louis thinks it’s insensitive to those who are still in mourning.

What do you think of the song?

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