0Robert Pattinson Drove His Truck Off Into the Sunset… And Stopped a Few Blocks Away

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart split up earlier this month after “growing apart”, and Rob rode his shitty pickup truck away… to his old house just a few blocks away. He’s got a nice Spanish villa (with a couch in the backyard!) so he’ll be sitting pretty there.

From E! News:

Moving out and moving on.

Robert Pattinson was seen removing his belongings from ex-girlfriend Kristen Stewart’s Los Angeles pad last week and it seems like he’s starting to get settled back into his own home just a few miles away.

The Twilight hunk, who owns a place in a nearby neighborhood, moved back into his Spanish-style villa over the holiday weekend.

The two actors have both been spotted out and about in Los Angeles separately.

Pattinson was seen running errands late last week and even stopped by a medical building on his own.

LOL, a medical building. Well, that’s progress! Maybe he should invite Katy Perry over for a board game night.

May 28, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

1Jennifer Lawrence’s Stalker Has Been Arrested

Jennifer Lawrence is sort of universally recognised as amazing at this point, so of course she has a stalker. Even f-cking Clay Aiken has a stalker. Anyway, some 23-year-old bro has been harassing Jennifer’s brother Blaine and finally, police arrested his crazy ass.

From The New York Daily News:

A Canadian man is facing charges that he stalked the brother of Jennifer Lawrence after authorities say he repeatedly insisted that the man put him in touch with the Oscar-winning actress so he could protect her, according to court documents.

Zhao Han Cong, 23, of Vancouver, British Columbia, was ordered Friday to remain held until he could undergo a psychiatric examination to determine if the case against him can proceed.

FBI agents in Louisville charged Cong on Monday with interstate stalking and repeated harassing phone communications. Lawrence is a native of Louisville.

Cong’s attorney, public defender Donald J. Meier, requested the psychiatric exam. Meier didn’t cite any specific behavior in making the request, though prosecutors did not object. Cong has not yet entered a plea.

FBI Special Agent Richard Boswell III wrote in an affidavit that Cong started contacting “B.L.,” who is identified in a related state court record as the actress’ brother Blaine Lawrence, on April 4. Lawrence received numerous phone calls and text messages from “Ted” on his work cell phone at 2 a.m., Boswell wrote. Boswell said “Ted” was later identified as Cong.

The phone calls and text messages came from numbers with area codes in California and Colorado but were later traced to Cong.

I can’t with people. First of all, anyone desperate enough to start stalking a celebrity (and/or their family members) has a mental issue, 100%. Normal people do not do that. Normal people are like, “Damn, JLaw is fine and she’s so funny! I wish we were BFFs! Ah, well, let me watch Silver Linings Playbook again” and then they move on with their lives. Nutsos like Cong take shit to the next level of insanity with crap like this.

May 28, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer

1Johnny Depp Hired Some Homeless People As Extras In ‘Transcendence’

You may wonder if Johnny Depp‘s affinity with the homeless has anything to do with the fact that he looks like one himself, but that’s not the point here. The fact is, he’s a pretty cool bro who hired two homeless people in Albuquerque, New Mexico as extras for his new movie Transcendence. Well, he convinced the director to hire them, which is close enough for me.

From The Sun:

”Johnny always likes to help out the community when on location,” a source said.

”While scouting out the area around Albuquerque, he came across these two characters.

“He was straight on the phone to the casting director.”

Well, that’s nice. It’s a shame Transcendence isn’t a zombie film that requires a mob of people, then he could have hired 100! Mind you, they probably only got $50 for the day since they’re non-union extras, but shit, that’s a fortune, considering.

May 28, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

12Kanye West Thinks Marrying Kim Kardashian Would Damage His Finances

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby together in a few short months, so one would assume that they plan to be together for a long time. Couples don’t have to get married to be committed (holler and let your love RIP, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins), but many choose to walk down the aisle as a show of their everlasting love… or at least for the tax benefits. Turns out, Kanye’s probably dodging poor Kimmycakes because he’s got no intention of exchanging vows since it would be bad for his checkbook. LOL, work that one out.

From Star (via DS):

“Kanye has real money. He won’t marry Kim because it would hurt his finances.

“Kim is a shopaholic! She spends $350,000 a month on her credit cards.

“She pays hundreds of thousands of dollars for designers to custom-make clothes for her, and she spent millions on Louis Vuitton handbags to match each outfit.”

Uh, $350,000 a month? Are you shitting me? I don’t think I could even find $350,000 worth of shit to buy in a year, let alone a month. Then again, I guess even the entire Primark summer collection wouldn’t add up to half that, so maybe we’re on different scales, here.

I think the real reason Kanye won’t marry Kim is because, duh, he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s clear he’s having major regrets about having dipped his pen into that ink, if you feel me, and he’s not trying to put a ring on it. He never was. There’s no way in hell this baby thing was planned, AT ALL, and something tells me it wasn’t a welcome surprise.

Also, here’s a present for getting through this article, but you’ll have to go behind the cut as it’s a little… disturbing. (more…)

May 28, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

6Caption This: This Week’s Photo

Hello, beeters! It’s that time again – a new photo, a new chance to caption for a sweet Evil Beet t-shirt. Remember guys, you know you are having a bad day when your fortune cookie is blank. Therefore, take a look at the photo above and give us your funniest, most unique captions below, then check back next week to find out if you’ve won.

As for last week’s Katy Perry and Mick Jagger photo, here’s the winners below.

Winner: pikki nikki polka pants with: “I SEE A WHITE WHORE AND I WANT IT PAINTED BLACK.”

Runner-up: Splig with: “Girl so all that, she sticks a stamp on her skirt n tries to mail herself to herself as a present!”

So come on guys, get captioning on this week’s photo!

May 28, 2013 at 10:00 am by Jennifer

0Kelly Rowland Gets Emotional Over Her ‘Dirty Laundry’

Y’all know I love Kelly Rowland‘s new single ‘Dirty Laundry’ – it’s way better than anything Beyoncé is doing right now, which actually pains me to say. The press made a big to-do over the track because in it, she reveals that she struggled with jealousy when Bey got more successful than her and that she was in an abusive relationship. In a just world, the latter would be the bigger revelation, but it’s showbiz, so of course everyone would rather focus on how catty women can be. (For the record, big ups to Kelly for admitting that she was envious and for getting her shit together enough to maintain their friendship.)

In any case, Kelly performed ‘Dirty Laundry’ in Washington DC over the weekend and broke down in tears on stage in the middle of it. I can imagine it’s cathartic to let out something you’ve kept in for so long, and also to reflect upon something so damaging and life-changing as an abusive relationship that you finally managed to get out of. After all, many women (and men, yes) aren’t so lucky.

Here’s the video of Kelly’s performance below. What do you guys think of the track?

May 28, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer