I know, I know. Hush, baby birds. It's ok. I know that Thanksgiving was ruined when we learned that Courtney Stodden wouldn't be stripping on Thanksgiving Eve. I know how bad that hurt. And the fact that we didn't get an explanation hurt just as bad, didn't it? I'm so sorry. I wish I could shield you from all the pain in the world, but I can't.
However, I can finally give you an explanation for Courtney's sudden cancellation. Or, well, a few explanations.
Here's the short and sweet statement from the club...
From TMZ:
Courtney Stodden will NOT be flaunting her suspiciously perky 18-year-old breasts at a pole dancing performance next week -- because the gay club that booked her ... just dropped her like a hot potato.
Courtney's people tell TMZ, it's unclear why her performance was abruptly canceled -- but they believe the higher ups who own the place pulled the plug on her out of "fear" ... whatever that means.
Courtney had been scheduled to ride the pole at the famous Abbey in West Hollywo...
How are my fellow Americans planning on spending Thanksgiving this year? Probably eating with family, eating with friends, or eating by yourself, right? That's fair. But what about Thanksgiving Eve? Do you have any specific plans for that day? Personally, on Thanksgiving Eve I just usually do what I do every other day, except that night I plan my outfit and makeup and everything so that my family can remember to be proud of me that I didn't get pregnant at 16 and that I've never stolen pills f...
And could you, with her wearing this kind of stuff ALL the F-CKING TIME?
The latest on Courtney, however, is not necessarily how useless we think she is, it's how useless other people think Courtney Stodden is, and by "other" people, I mean "people who might have influence over her 'career'." No, Courtney and her grandpappy husband, Doug Hutchison, were kicked off 'Couples Therapy' this past week because Courtney refused to wear more appropriate clothing for a session or something. I don't kn...
The caption to the above photo? This:
Getting lay'd on the way back home. ;) #yum
My personal response (here, not on Twitter)?
Gagging last night's NyQuil gelcaps up. #whee and #urk
On a more serious note, though, Courtney's hairstyle is probably the best it's ever been. This girl's massive, overtanned fivehead is positively made for bangs, and it's high time she went and maximized the area she's working with. She's looking better and better, what with laying off all of the black eyelin...
Are you guys watching 'Couples Therapy'? Because I've been catching bits and pieces here and there (way too much all at once), and I came upon this gem of an exchange between Courtney Stodden and one of the show's therapists. Just ... just read this. Now:
Therapist: Courtney and Doug, tell me a little bit about the power in your relationship.
Courtney: I think that we, you know, fight for the power, you know both of us … but I think that in the majority of things I do have the power over...
Tough question, considering it's going to be pretty hard to beat last year's pumpkin patch debauchery in trashy country-western attire. What? That wasn't even Courtney's Halloween costume? This was? Oh. Well. I guess that'll teach me a lesson for making assumptions about Courtney Stodden and the word "trashy."
On a serious note, though, it's finally happened---Courtney Stodden, at the ripe old age of eighteen, has dead eyes. Don't believe me? Think that girlfriend is just as happy with her ...
Nope, because a board-certified plastic surgeon said so. Just like that time when Courtney was on some talk show and the ultrasound tech said that Courtney absolutely never had breast implants even though she had some kind of unacknowledged mass in both of her boobs (gosh, wonder if girlfriend ever got that checked out? Breast cancer is a lot more prevalent than some people think, you know?). Nope, Courtney's a thousand percent natural, and it's merely by the grace of God that girlfriend looks as angelic and beautiful and perfectly flawless as Courtney does. Just go ahead and recognize that f...
Also, there's a new picture of her new face for you. It would probably look pretty ok if she wasn't making that stupid drugged face that some people think is sexy.
But anyway, yeah, that child labor stuff. It turns out that only adults can "work" 24 hours a day, which is what the cast of Couples Therapy did. They all lived in a facility together, had therapy during the day, and, you know, slept and stuff at night. That is, that's what the adults did. Courtney Stodden, who hadn't turn...
Under normal circumstances, the fact that Courtney Stodden doesn't want to have children would be a very, very big miracle - having proof that she and Doug Hutchison had sex would just be too much, plus we've seen what sort of parenting she had growing up, and it seems sad to think she'd pass that on to her own children - but these aren't normal circumstances, and I'll tell you why. It's because Courtney Stodden doesn't want to have children right now. Still a miracle, just not as awesome....
"When you’re an old soul, you’re not going to fall in love with a 14 year-old boy. You meet somebody, you know what you want, and you’re going to get that… I was a Christian girl and I wanted to save myself until I got married. Some people say that I waited a whole 16 years… that meant so much to me… we’re still together. We’ve been married for a year and a half almost."
Oh, so you got that, right? ...
I know, I know. Hush, baby birds. It's ok. I know that Thanksgiving was ruined when we learned that Courtney Stodden wouldn't be stripping on Thanksgiving Eve. I know how bad that hurt. And the fact that we didn't get an explanation hurt just as bad, didn't it? I'm so sorry. I wish I could shield you from all the pain in the world, but I can't.
However, I can finally give you an explanation for Courtney's sudden cancellation. Or, well, a few explanations.
Here's the short and sweet statement from the club...
From TMZ:
Courtney Stodden will NOT be flaunting her suspiciously perky 18-year-old breasts at a pole dancing performance next week -- because the gay club that booked her ... just dropped her like a hot potato.
Courtney's people tell TMZ, it's unclear why her performance was abruptly canceled -- but they believe the higher ups who own the place pulled the plug on her out of "fear" ... whatever that means.
Courtney had been scheduled to ride the pole at the famous Abbey in West Hollywo...
How are my fellow Americans planning on spending Thanksgiving this year? Probably eating with family, eating with friends, or eating by yourself, right? That's fair. But what about Thanksgiving Eve? Do you have any specific plans for that day? Personally, on Thanksgiving Eve I just usually do what I do every other day, except that night I plan my outfit and makeup and everything so that my family can remember to be proud of me that I didn't get pregnant at 16 and that I've never stolen pills f...
And could you, with her wearing this kind of stuff ALL the F-CKING TIME?
The latest on Courtney, however, is not necessarily how useless we think she is, it's how useless other people think Courtney Stodden is, and by "other" people, I mean "people who might have influence over her 'career'." No, Courtney and her grandpappy husband, Doug Hutchison, were kicked off 'Couples Therapy' this past week because Courtney refused to wear more appropriate clothing for a session or something. I don't kn...
The caption to the above photo? This:
Getting lay'd on the way back home. ;) #yum
My personal response (here, not on Twitter)?
Gagging last night's NyQuil gelcaps up. #whee and #urk
On a more serious note, though, Courtney's hairstyle is probably the best it's ever been. This girl's massive, overtanned fivehead is positively made for bangs, and it's high time she went and maximized the area she's working with. She's looking better and better, what with laying off all of the black eyelin...
Are you guys watching 'Couples Therapy'? Because I've been catching bits and pieces here and there (way too much all at once), and I came upon this gem of an exchange between Courtney Stodden and one of the show's therapists. Just ... just read this. Now:
Therapist: Courtney and Doug, tell me a little bit about the power in your relationship.
Courtney: I think that we, you know, fight for the power, you know both of us … but I think that in the majority of things I do have the power over...
Tough question, considering it's going to be pretty hard to beat last year's pumpkin patch debauchery in trashy country-western attire. What? That wasn't even Courtney's Halloween costume? This was? Oh. Well. I guess that'll teach me a lesson for making assumptions about Courtney Stodden and the word "trashy."
On a serious note, though, it's finally happened---Courtney Stodden, at the ripe old age of eighteen, has dead eyes. Don't believe me? Think that girlfriend is just as happy with her ...
Nope, because a board-certified plastic surgeon said so. Just like that time when Courtney was on some talk show and the ultrasound tech said that Courtney absolutely never had breast implants even though she had some kind of unacknowledged mass in both of her boobs (gosh, wonder if girlfriend ever got that checked out? Breast cancer is a lot more prevalent than some people think, you know?). Nope, Courtney's a thousand percent natural, and it's merely by the grace of God that girlfriend looks as angelic and beautiful and perfectly flawless as Courtney does. Just go ahead and recognize that f...
Also, there's a new picture of her new face for you. It would probably look pretty ok if she wasn't making that stupid drugged face that some people think is sexy.
But anyway, yeah, that child labor stuff. It turns out that only adults can "work" 24 hours a day, which is what the cast of Couples Therapy did. They all lived in a facility together, had therapy during the day, and, you know, slept and stuff at night. That is, that's what the adults did. Courtney Stodden, who hadn't turn...
Under normal circumstances, the fact that Courtney Stodden doesn't want to have children would be a very, very big miracle - having proof that she and Doug Hutchison had sex would just be too much, plus we've seen what sort of parenting she had growing up, and it seems sad to think she'd pass that on to her own children - but these aren't normal circumstances, and I'll tell you why. It's because Courtney Stodden doesn't want to have children right now. Still a miracle, just not as awesome....
"When you’re an old soul, you’re not going to fall in love with a 14 year-old boy. You meet somebody, you know what you want, and you’re going to get that… I was a Christian girl and I wanted to save myself until I got married. Some people say that I waited a whole 16 years… that meant so much to me… we’re still together. We’ve been married for a year and a half almost."
Oh, so you got that, right? ...