Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Okay, This is Cool Marketing

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The Simpsons movie is going to join up with 7-11 to turn the stores into Kwik-E-Marts!

How cool is that? Look here:

If all goes as planned, the convenience store chain plans to refit 11 stores across the U.S. to resemble the front of the Kwik-E-Mart, the convenience store that Homer and other characters frequent in the classic cartoon TV series.

Why aren’t they doing all of them? Forever? Like you wouldn’t stop at a Kwik-E-Mart everyday. Don’t lie. You would. Even better:

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO’s cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee).

Yay! I want a Buzz Cola! Actually I want a Duff Beer too. And some Laramie Cigarettes. I wasn’t holding out much hope for this movie but my anticipation is now building. Who would have thought there was something new under the advertising sun? Nice work fellas.

Full article, not as fun as this one, here.

Is Nicole Kidman Preggers?

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If the rumors are to be believed, Nicole Kidman is pregnant at long last. According to Woman’s Day Australia, the months of fertility treatments have been successful, and Nicole is finally pregnant with Keith Urban’s baby.

“Nicole and Keith are having a baby,” says a friend. “They’ve been riding on clouds since they got the news. Nicole’s been hoping for this since the day they got married. Everyone knows how she’s been aching to have a baby. It’s all she’s been talking about for ages.”

I think Nicole Kidman has completely and totally forgotten about her two children with Tom Cruise. She’s all like, “Oh, those publicity stunts? What were their names again? Imelda maybe? And Courtney? Or was it Corner? They were kind of ugly. I don’t know where Tom found them. Africa or some other strange place. They’re Katie’s problem now.” Tom at least makes an effort to be photographed in the same city as Isabella and Connor. Nicole can’t even be bothered to be on the same continent.

Anyway, this kid is going to enter the world with the best head of hair ever. I think Vidal Sassoon is hoping to do an in-utero documentary. Congrats to Nic and Keith!

The Sons of Hollywood Publicity Tour Marches Onward

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On the heels of the announcement that Randy Spelling was Paris Hilton’s first fuck, Sean Stewart makes an appearance on Howard Stern to announce that he used to want to fuck his stepmom, Rachel Hunter.

“I used to stare at [her] when she was down by the pool sunbathing naked. I was like 15 or 16 and I was sitting in my pool with a bottle of lotion.” Sean says he never hit on her because “I couldn’t handle the full rejection.” What??? She was also married to your father, remember? Ick.

Doesn’t this make you want to watch the show?

The Natural Order of the Universe Restored

I mean Just LOOK at this fucking goober.

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That guy couldn’t get laid at a sex addicts meeting. Now look at the chick to his left. I’d clean her apartment for her. That’s a pun! But I really would. Dishes too.

So James Blunt and Petra Nemcova have broken up, and People magazine has confirmed it and everything. To this I say Thank God. I was starting to think the world worked in a way in which I had no comprehension, like a child lost in a movie theater playing the color bars. Now things are better. I feel better. One day at a time and all that.

Let’s Hope This Guy Dies Soon

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This article is sort of in the spirit of my fired up sleepless master (EvilBeet) but I believe in it too. The news is that Jack Valenti had a stroke on Monday and is in the hospital in Baltimore.

You don’t know who Jack is, but he founded the MPAA, the moral police watchdog group that ensures nothing subversive ever touches your pretty little mind. They set the ratings for all American movies that are actually released in theaters and they do so in an arbitrary and unfair manner. They hate sex, but are okay with violence. What a message for the kiddies! Gay stuff? Drugs? Heck no, we can make sure the kids all grow up not even KNOWING curse words! What a fucker. So while he may look like a kindly old grandpa he’s single handedly destroyed the past two decades of cinema. Where we used to get cool shit like Midnight Cowboy we now get Norbit. This guy sucks hard. Godspeed Jack.

Blake Lewis & Chris Richardson Candids

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I remember now why I haven’t slept in days. Because I can’t fall asleep. That is so, so problematic. We’re going on five days without any real sleep now. I’m open to suggestions.

Anyway, I came across some candids of Blake and Chris R. from AmIdol partying it up in L.A. I think they’re at The Grove on Fairfax — you can see the CBS studio in the background on one, and those trolley tracks are unmistakably Grovey. Pretty cute pics. Chris actually looks kind of sexy with the sunglasses, so I think his eyes are his primary creep factor.

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Late-Night Links

No one has listened to Taylor Hicks’ album, not even Nigel Lythgoe. [SOW]

Michael Jackson wants to be a bigger part of your Vegas experience. [Agent Bedhead]

Cool pics from the premiere of The Tudors. [popbytes]

Check out the trailer for Air Guitar Nation. [Pajiba]

The Friends girls do lunch together for the first time in like eight years and I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Jennifer Aniston’s appearing on Dirt this week. [A Socialite's Life]

Woah, it looks like Sanjaya was not originally supposed to sing “Bathwater” last night — because Gwen Stefani didn’t want him to. Well, he sure showed them! [dlisted]