Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Amy Winehouse Stops Trying to Fool Herself, Cancels Entire Tour

A photo of Amy Winehouse

Just yesterday, Sarah showed you guys a clip of how much of a train wreck Amy Winehouse is these days.  At that point, Amy had cancelled a couple of shows, but now, she’s just throwing in the towel completely by cancelling her whole European tour.  Girl was going to head out to Spain, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Poland, Hungary and Romania, but that’s over, because clearly she is incapable of functioning internationally.

I think this might be a good sign.  It looks like this is Amy being like “yeah, you got me, I’m not in any shape to be gallivanting around the continent. I’ma take myself back to rehab, work on myself, and then we’ll do this up proper.” Either that, or everyone who booked her saw her first performance and promptly backed out.  If Amy Winehouse has taught us one thing, it’s that anything is possible.

Chris Brown and Rihanna Are Probably Sexting

A photo of Rihanna and Chris Brown

Or maybe not.  Maybe Chris Brown and Rihanna are just trying to salvage something of their relationship, or maybe they’re just trying to make things not completely horrible and awkward when they bump into each other at award shows or something. I don’t know.  All I know is that Chris Brown can’t work Twitter.

You know how you can send direct messages and you can send the little @ replies to people?  Poor Chris Brown has a little trouble with that.  Yesterday, he got the two things confused, and he sent Rihanna a message, in front of God and everybody, that said “you got that pic I sent you?”  He deleted the Tweet soon after, but the internet is lightning quick, and now we all know about it.

It’s possible the picture was totally innocent. Maybe he got another shitty tattoo he thought she’d like to see, or maybe he saw something funny at the Walmart – it’s really anyone’s guess.  But nowadays, when the public thinks of Chris Brown and pictures, only one thing comes to mind.  And that’s his dick.  Are you understanding the logic here yet?  Chris Brown is incapable of sending anyone a picture that isn’t of his junk.

At this point in time, I feel like I’ve been over Rihanna for decades, like “Rude Boy” came out when I was three and it’s been violently hammered into my soul ever since.  Still though, I wouldn’t like to see Rihanna go back to such an abusive prick, or even be subjected to a penis picture or two.  What about you guys, what’s your stance on this nowadays?

Look, Everyone, Lindsay Got A Job!

See, house arrest is not only tons of fun, it’s also super lucrative!

Our girl Lindsay has, once again, managed to make lemons out of lemonade. As you can see in this dazzling advertisement above, Lindsay is pumping up, a pretty sketchy looking penny auction site, and you know what she got in return?  Yeah, we don’t either.  All we know is that the company offered Lindsay $25,000, she said no, and then they “came to terms for an undisclosed amount.”  Oh, and Lindsay got a $10,000 credit for the site, so I guess she’s going to own all of the things soon (seriously, right now you can get a laptop for ten cents, can someone explain this shadiness to me?).

You know, I think that any time now we can stop employing Lindsay Lohan, especially when we’re trying to teach her a lesson. That’s why she never learns, get it?