Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Woah, small world. That policeman who was just arrested for killing his very pregnant baby mama used to date Nikki Giavasis, who later dated and had a child by NBA star Shawn Kemp. [Bossip]

But what she really wants to do is act … [Cele|bitchy]

Someone’s got another tell-all about JFK Jr. [Celebrity Smack]

Prison Break‘s Wentworth Miller is dating T.R. Knight’s ex-boyfriend. I do hope that one of them opts to throw a drink at the other at Hyde. [The Bosh]

Heh. For all her finger-pointing, Nancy Grace totally had a shotgun wedding at the age of 47. She’s preggers with twins. [Celebslam]

Britney Spears’ breast, in case you didn’t catch it earlier this month. [The Blemish]

All the dictionaries in world can’t teach you how to use apostrophes properly, Paris. [SOW]

Is anyone else super-psyched for Hey, Paula? [popbytes]

Paris Back in the Hair Extensions

Paris Hilton DreamCatchers Hair Extensions

Now that she’s out of jail, Paris Hilton isn’t wasting any time before creating her transitional home for underprivileged female inmates getting her hair done. US is reporting that Miss Hilton had a hair appointment for 9:30 am today with DreamCatchers hair extensions. How long? “Full length, 20 inches of extensions….blonde, of course.”

She’s back, kids.

Update: HA! I should note that DreamCatchers hair extensions is Paris’ own brand, which explains the obvious name-dropping in the article. Also, one would think I’d have known this originally, as my Google search for “dream catchers hair extensions” results in an article I wrote as the third result. Seriously, someone should consider paying me a lot of money to do this professionally.

John Stamos Figures No One’ll Notice if He Shows Up Hungover to a Press Conference in Australia

John Stamos Drunk or Hungover at Australian Press Conference, Blames Jet Lag

John Stamos arrived bleary-eyed, sock-less, stumbling and inarticulate at an Australian press call, where he was expected to plug his appearance in the upcoming season of ER. Stamos blamed his difficulty speaking on having too many cups of coffee, and his appearance on jet-lag. “I came from Greece, Cairo and Japan … and for whatever reason I am so jet-lagged here,” he said. This seems odd, considering he’s been in Sydney since Thursday.

When you put all these signs together, you have to ask the question: Are they seriously still filming new episodes of ER?

PerezWatch: Now Mario’s the One Doing the Suing

Oh. Fuck. Yes. Now this makes sense.

Finally, a lawsuit in which Perez Hilton is not being accused of copyright violations. In fact, the gossip blogger (real name: Mario Lavandeira) is the one suing this time, claiming that a rogue Los Angeles photo agency is unfairly competing against his blog by, among other things, employing a platoon of illegal aliens who physically threaten the paparazzi competition. Filed yesterday, Lavandeira’s Los Angeles Superior Court complaint … alleges that the X17 agency’s owners engage in “illegal and unethical business practices” and that they exploit the company’s photographers, many of whom are “from Brazil or other countries” and are “believed to be illegal aliens.” He also charges that the agency may “employ photographers with criminal backgrounds and/or gang affiliations.” While Lavandeira does not identify any paparazzi by name, X17 photographer Ramon “Twist” Kirk is a convicted sex offender. As first revealed by reporter Eric Longabardi, Kirk spent 16 months in a California prison for the felony sex crime, which involved a teenage girl. Lavandeira contends that X17 has launched a “copycat blog” and, to secure a competitive advantage, the agency exploits its labor pool “through unlawful business practices.

Not only is Perez suing X17 as a corporation, he’s also suing its owners, Francois and Brandy Navarre, as individuals.

You can read the full complaint here.

We’ll be talking about this more later, I promise.

Who’d’ve guessed that on Paris Hilton Jail Release day, my favorite story would be about an entirely different Hilton?

(Thanks Chris!)

Paris Left Jail Wearing Her Blue-Tinted Contacts

Paris Hilton Leaves Lynwood Jail in SUV Pictures Photos

No matter how much her jail stay changed Paris, it officially had no impact on her eye color. BuzzFoto just released this pic of Paris leaving jail, which I think is probably the best I’ve seen so far, and I realized while looking at the high-def version that she’s wearing her blue contacts. I think she might also be wearing false eyelashes, but I’m not sure about that. I’ve included the high-def version of her eyes here so you guys can weigh in.

Paris Hilton Leaving Jail Blue-Tinted Contacts Pictures Photos

PerezWatch: Gunning for X17

Perez Hilton Looking for X17 Photographers Who Haven’t Received Adequate Compensation

Just posted on Perez:

Notice To All Current And Former Photographers Of X17

Does X17 owe you money?

If you feel that you have not been adequately compensated by X17 for your time (including overtime) or your photographs, please contact us at immediately.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Ohhhhhhhh shit.

This no longer has anything to do with first amendment rights or satire or copyright infringement. This shit is personal, and it has been for a while now.

But it is sooooo much fun!!!!