Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Geri Halliwell looks damn good in a bikini. [Celebslam]

Chris Rock would like you to know, for once and for all, that he did not father (this particular) child out of wedlock. [Bossip]

Meanwhile, Eddie Murphy finally admits that there is some accuracy to scientific paternity testing. [Cele|bitchy]

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are back to hating each other. Phew. That was weird for awhile. [Yeeeah!]

“Flava Flav is responsible for more homeless black children than Hurricane Katrina.” [SOW]

Let the Beckham Backlash begin. [Agent Bedhead]

When the title of a film review is “I Hate My Life,” you sort of already know how the rest of it’s gonna read. [Pajiba]

Michelle Pfeiffer gets that elusive star on the Boulevard, so Lohan et al can trample over her name on the way to another DUI. [popbytes]

Britney Spears Finally Has a Manager


Manager Jeff Kwatinez may have been frustrated by Kelly Clarkson’s refusal to listen to the advice of Clive Davis, but at least Kelly doesn’t have a reputation for cleaning up her dog’s poop with Chanel dresses, urinating on-set with the bathroom door open, flaking out on her commitments, and, you know, doing cocaine all the time.

But, for whatever reason, Mr. Kwatinez, who was fired by Kelly last month, feels he’s prepared to take on Britney Spears, and has recently agreed to sign on as her manager. Britney’s been without any formal management for several months now — some say because no one’s willing to work with her — and her career has spiraled even further downward, with the recently divorced popstar getting into screaming matches with the paparazzi and walking out on interviews.

Jeff has been tasked with resurrecting Britney’s career, but he’s going to have to resurrect her life first.

Brooke Shields’ Daughter is Giving Shiloh a Run for Her Money

Brooke Shields and Her Daughter Grier, Pictures and Photos

Brooke Shields, Daughter Grier and Husband Chris Henchy, Family Picture

Brooke Shields and Daughter Grier at Mercedes Benz Polo Challenge Picture

I know I announced not too long ago that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was the cutest child ever, but I think I need to reconsider. Brooke Shields’ little Grier is absolutely adorable, too. Brooke, her daughter, and her husband Chris Henchy hung out at the Mercedes Benz Polo Challenge for charity this weekend. Brooke hosted the event.

Look, I know I probably won’t be writing a celebrity gossip blog twenty years from now, but I really hope we’re still following celebrity gossip as closely then as we do now, because I’m really excited to watch all these kids grow up together. One of these days, we’re going to have Shiloh, Suri, Grier, Apple and all the rest of these tragically named children getting shitty drunk at some hip WeHo club and flipping off TMZ’s cameras, and I, for one, can’t wait.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Where the Hell is Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan at The Cirque Lodge in Sundance Utah?

It’s an age-old question, one that I’m sure has been posed countless times by her frustrated managers, lawyers, PR reps, directors, co-stars and hangers-on. Usually we can answer it by calling any one of the paparazzi agencies in the LA area. “She’s at home,” they’ll say, “we’re out front. Don’t expect her to be awake any time soon.” But these days the question is a little tougher to answer, since she’s been totally off the radar ever since her most recent DUI.

The New York Post is reporting Lindsay is at her mother’s home in Long Island, where she flew on Friday. “She’s doing well,” her mother told the paper.

Meanwhile, the folks at Entertainment Tonight say she’s hanging out at The Cirque Lodge, a popular celeb rehab destination in Sundance, Utah (that’s where Mary-Kate Olsen went to have her “anorexia” treated).

Either way, it appears she’s out of LA, which is probably a really good decision for Lindsay.

Brett Ratner is Refreshingly Candid About Accidentally Having Sex with a Man

Brett Ratner Got Head from a Man

From Page Six:

DIRECTOR Brett Ratner based a scene in “Rush Hour 3″ on a sexual encounter he had with a transvestite. Asked by The Advocate about the sequence “when the girl takes off her wig and Chris Tucker becomes angry and accuses her of being a man,” Ratner responded, “That’s from my personal experience. My first [oral sex] was from a man, but I didn’t know it was a man . . . I’m not homophobic or uptight about it. That happens to a lot of heterosexuals. You meet a girl in a bar, and it turns out she’s not a girl.”

I think this has happened to a lot of guys, but most of them aren’t talking about it in interviews. He probably figured it would be no big deal running in The Advocate, but thankfully Page Six picked it up, so everyone can read about it.