Eight days after former Playmate Anna Nicole Smith died, a Florida judge signed an order to have her refrigerated remains embalmed. “We’re beginning to give her peace,” Judge Larry Seidlin said.

I had no idea people were still embalmed. Will she get a gold sarcophagus too?

The good news for everyone who wants this in the news for the next decade is that the Judge also allowed for another DNA sample to be taken so all those pesky paternity claims can be cleared up. It also seems from the article that the embalming will be completed soon, possibly even today. I’m not sure how I feel about any of this anymore though I think my people are generally in favor of cremation. Based on anecdotal historical evidence embalming just leads to grave robbers.

A few questions:
1) Does he get a swag bag?
2) Does he get a seat? (If so, shouldn’t some Somali refuge get that instead? I mean really.)
3) If she wins the Oscar^® will Dakota Fanning sign up for a transvestite role in a fit of rage?

Okay, I guess she’s just a cute little girl who was in that humour-filled hit movie Little Miss Sunshine. We at the Beet wish her and her Monkey friend all the success in the world.

*Also, I like using British^® spellings. Eat it.

**Did you know that the word curio means the exact same thing as curious? This might save you some time in the future.

If you likened the relationship I have with T and B to a dinner party I’d be in a room playing with my toy cars. The two gals would be hosting, drinking champagne (the good stuff too), and in general making revelry. Every once in a while on of them would check in on me and say something like “You doing allright bud?”

I would smile, but it would be abundantly clear that I’d been eating paste. You get the idea.

Now where was I… oh yes, the music! See what I was saying about glue like products? I wanted to throw a very British band out for your consumption this morning, a Japanese kid told me about them so you know they’ve got to be cool.

Enjoy Maximo Park with “Apply Some Pressure”