Today's Evil Beet Gossip

More Spears…


So you didn’t think Britney’s meltdown would be blamed on Jessica Simpson did you?

Oh but it has my friends. It has. TMZ is reporting that Britney spent 10 grand to fly her people to Las Vegas to give her long dark brown locks but her people said no and instead insisted that she use those blond ratty hair extensions that evidently were from Jessica Simpson’s “Hair-Do” line.

Ok, so if somebody forced me to wear Jess’s extensions then I would be pissed and uninspired too.

So far, this is the best excuse I’ve heard.

[image and source]

Kevin Federline: Now I’m an Actor!


While his ex-wife was crashing at the VMAs — where they hand out awards for “quadruple threats” — K-Fed’s still trying to find an arena in which he can be a single threat. Well, I guess a double-threat, as he’s already mastered the art of sending threatening letters to Britney.

The rap thing didn’t work out so hot, so, in this interview with Extra, Kevin informs us that he’s “definitely more focused on the acting thing.”

He had no comment on Britney’s VMA appearance. He was in LA this weekend, celebrating the birthdays of Jayden James and Sean Preston. My God, in all the Britney Spears/VMA hype, we totally forgot these kids have birthdays this month! Frankly, Britney probably did, too!

At least they have their father.

Who ever thought we’d be saying that?

Don’t Be Mad at Me Tomorrow

I’ll be traveling most of the day on Wednesday — heading back to LA for my friend’s wedding. (Congrats to Nandita and Matt!!!) I’ll try to get something up later in the day, but don’t hate me if it’s really slow. I still love you guys. It’s just hard to demonstrate that love until they get Internet access on airplanes.

Happy September 11, Wall Street!!! Here’s Lance Bass to Help You Celebrate!!

Lance Bass Rings Closing Bell on Nasdaq


What. The. Fuck?

Lance Bass was on hand to ring the closing bell at the NASDAQ stock exchange on September 11, 2007.

Because nothing says “We’ve recovered from a horrific tragedy of unimaginable proportions” like a gay former boy-bander and failed Cosmonaut.

I think this has something to do with the fact that Bass is currently appearing on Broadway in Hairspray, but still. It’d be nice to have someone like — oh, I don’t know — the President? — to do this.

Justin Timberlake’s Voice Was Strained from “Performing”

Justin Timberlake Cancels Tour Dates after Getting Shitfaced at the VMAs

J.T. postponed two tour dates in Northern California — one on Monday and one on Wednesday — after a doctor ordered him to rest his voice after his VMA performance.


The performance was so, so stressful on the voice of a guy who puts on a full two-hour show every other night. But the three bits he did at the VMAs just put that poor little voice right over the edge.

So, so stressful.


Tommy Lee Weighs in on His VMA Smackdown

Tommy Lee and Criss Angel at the VMAs

What on earth did we do before blogs?

How did celebrities ever speak their minds?

Tommy Lee wants to tell his story of the fight he had with Kid Rock at the VMAs, so he’s taken to his blog to get the word out. What you need to focus on here are the letters that come in between the super-ellipses. I know all the dots on the page are hard to ignore and very, very important — not to mention grammatically essential — but please try to direct your focus to the actual words.

Yeah!! … I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the Mtv awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT AS FUCK!!!!…..Megan FOX!!! So I go over and sit with P!! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….”i apologize sweetie”…..i had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect, ……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…i stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous no career havin country bumpkin the fuck OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards…NOT MINE at the Palms grab me and haul my ass outta the award show threatening me that if I move they’ll break my arm……yeah whatever!!….my security guard Bruce grabs them and say’s I got him….let go!!! So im fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and Mtv for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

Much Love always!!…..Tommy!!

Okay, am I the only one who feels dumb about actually laughing out loud at Kid Pebble? I’m not sure why I think it’s so funny. It’s not funny in a brilliantly witty way, but it’s funny in an oh-my-God-a-grown-man-and-the-father-of-children-just-said-this kind of way. Also, I love the name-dropping, Tommy. I wish I were cool enough to know George Maloof. Then I could say his name for reason at all, too.

Also, can I get a brief essay from you on why exactly you put an apostrophe in “say’s”? What, exactly, is the apostrophe replacing there? I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts on that.