I have no idea why I care. I hate that I still care about anything Culkin, but there’s an 8-year-old inside me who still wants to slap my hands against my face and scream every once in awhile. I have to believe that small child still lives inside some of you, too, and the excitement of seeing the two younger Culkin boys exists for people other than me. Kieran had a small role as one of the brothers in Home Alone, and has a couple of films coming out in the next year. Rory’s been working steadily in guest roles and small films, all of which is more than can be said for Mac, whose last major film role was in 2004′s Saved! When you’re cast in the same film as such theatrical powerhouses as Mandy Moore and that weird-looking Susan Saranden daughter, it may be time to throw in the towel. But, hey, he’s banging Mila Kunis every night and you’re not.
The two brothers showed up for the NYC premiere of the Steve Buscemi indie flick, Delirious. Kieran’s in the brown, Rory’s in the white.
Either there was a sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion, or that’s just what Kendra Wilkinson thinks you call it when Hef puts it in her ass. [Ninja Dude]
Amanda Bynes launches what is sure to be the most saccharine, boring clothing line ever. [Glitterati]
Whitney Houston: crack is back. [Celebrity Smack]
Jesus Christ, that cannot be Matthew McConaughey’s flaccid penis. [Agent Bedhead]
Keith Richards is like, “You misunderstood. I did snort my father’s ashes. But I did not cut them with cocaine. What, you think I’m some sort of a drug addict?” [Cele|bitchy]
Dude, if Amy Winehouse ends up going to rehab, someone better do a killer remix of that song. [Yeeeah!]
The full set of pics of Britney topless in the that jacuzzi. [Drunken Stepfather]
If Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes, that means Jessica Biel probably has it, too, which means Justin Timberlake does, and oh! This could be so much fun! [Gabby Babble]
Ha! In fact, Holy Candy’s drawn up the entire Hollywood Herpes tree, courtesy of Derek Jeter. I’d try to do the same thing for Paris Hilton, but my hosting service has a memory limit. [Holy Candy]
Britney Spears, who is learning the hard way that when your whole life is videotaped and broadcast internationally, a hit and run gets a little more complicated, just released the print ad for her new perfume from Elizabeth Arden. What’s special about this particular ad is that Elizabeth Arden felt it necessary to issue a little disclaimer along with the ad. Straight from my inbox:
We recently shot Britney Spears for the print campaign for her new fragrance Britney Spears Believe, in Santa Monica. It is true that Britney did leave the set; however, she returned after a brief time. Cayli was the wardrobe assistant on the shoot. We used her as a stand in so that we could set up the lighting while Britney was off the set. When Britney returned, we shot the national print ad with her. The only person in the national print ad for Britney’s Believe fragrance is Britney Spears.
So there you have it, people. What you see on that page is totally based on the image of Britney Spears and Britney Spears alone. Plus a whole lot of Photoshop.
Angelina’s busy filming Wanted in Chicago, but that hasn’t stopped her from getting in some quality time with the kiddos. Angie took little Zahara to Timeless Toys in The Windy City on Thursday.
How has this baby not been born yet? I feel like she’s been pregnant forever. The babies who were born back when she first got pregnant are already old enough to have sex with Tom Brady. Pop out that kid already, Bridg.
Our budding Humanitarian of the Year showed up at yet another charity function: Helio’s Summer Celebration, benefiting Heal the Bay. HTB is a “nonprofit environmental organization dedicated to making Southern California coastal waters and watersheds, including Santa Monica Bay, safe, healthy and clean.”
The event was hosted by Amy Smart and Emmy Rossum, but I’m sure Paris commanded the majority of the attention. A bespectacled Rumer Willis made an appearance, as did Lindsay Lohan’s summer 2006 love, Harry Morton, who we haven’t seen in quite some time.