Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hey, Look, It’s Kieran and Rory Culkin!

Kieran and Rory Culkin at the NYC Premiere of Delirious, Starring Steve Buscemi, Pictures and Photos

I have no idea why I care. I hate that I still care about anything Culkin, but there’s an 8-year-old inside me who still wants to slap my hands against my face and scream every once in awhile. I have to believe that small child still lives inside some of you, too, and the excitement of seeing the two younger Culkin boys exists for people other than me. Kieran had a small role as one of the brothers in Home Alone, and has a couple of films coming out in the next year. Rory’s been working steadily in guest roles and small films, all of which is more than can be said for Mac, whose last major film role was in 2004′s Saved! When you’re cast in the same film as such theatrical powerhouses as Mandy Moore and that weird-looking Susan Saranden daughter, it may be time to throw in the towel. But, hey, he’s banging Mila Kunis every night and you’re not.

The two brothers showed up for the NYC premiere of the Steve Buscemi indie flick, Delirious. Kieran’s in the brown, Rory’s in the white.

Kieran Culkin at the NYC Premiere of Delirious, Starring Steve Buscemi, Pictures and Photos Kieran and Rory Culkin at the NYC Premiere of Delirious, Starring Steve Buscemi, Pictures and Photos

The Links

Either there was a sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion, or that’s just what Kendra Wilkinson thinks you call it when Hef puts it in her ass. [Ninja Dude]

Amanda Bynes launches what is sure to be the most saccharine, boring clothing line ever. [Glitterati]

Whitney Houston: crack is back. [Celebrity Smack]

Jesus Christ, that cannot be Matthew McConaughey’s flaccid penis. [Agent Bedhead]

Keith Richards is like, “You misunderstood. I did snort my father’s ashes. But I did not cut them with cocaine. What, you think I’m some sort of a drug addict?” [Cele|bitchy]

Dude, if Amy Winehouse ends up going to rehab, someone better do a killer remix of that song. [Yeeeah!]

The full set of pics of Britney topless in the that jacuzzi. [Drunken Stepfather]

If Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes, that means Jessica Biel probably has it, too, which means Justin Timberlake does, and oh! This could be so much fun! [Gabby Babble]

Ha! In fact, Holy Candy’s drawn up the entire Hollywood Herpes tree, courtesy of Derek Jeter. I’d try to do the same thing for Paris Hilton, but my hosting service has a memory limit. [Holy Candy]

It’s Nice When Your Perfume Ad Comes with a Disclaimer about Your On-Set Behavior

Britney Spears Believe National Print Ad

Britney Spears, who is learning the hard way that when your whole life is videotaped and broadcast internationally, a hit and run gets a little more complicated, just released the print ad for her new perfume from Elizabeth Arden. What’s special about this particular ad is that Elizabeth Arden felt it necessary to issue a little disclaimer along with the ad. Straight from my inbox:

We recently shot Britney Spears for the print campaign for her new fragrance Britney Spears Believe, in Santa Monica. It is true that Britney did leave the set; however, she returned after a brief time. Cayli was the wardrobe assistant on the shoot. We used her as a stand in so that we could set up the lighting while Britney was off the set. When Britney returned, we shot the national print ad with her. The only person in the national print ad for Britney’s Believe fragrance is Britney Spears.

So there you have it, people. What you see on that page is totally based on the image of Britney Spears and Britney Spears alone. Plus a whole lot of Photoshop.

Okay, These Are the Greatest Things Ever

So some PR firm plugging The Hills Season 2 DVD sent me a bunch of these today, and I have to say, I think they’re pretty fabulous. Here’s the info from the [sic]-tastic email I got:

MTV and their ad agency BaM have created EmotiClips – a way for friends to communicate using scenes of Lauren, Heidi and the infamous Spencer.

Had a break-up recently? Want to tell your best girlfriend how much she means to you? Is someone just a ‘sucky person’ and you’ve got to get the point across? Well turn to MTV’s The Hills Emoticlips to do so. As the 2nd Season DVD of MTV’s hit show lands on shelves tomorrow (Tuesday, August 6th), make sure to send your true feelings (whatever they may be) as the star – Lauren, the party girl Audrina, the professional – Whitney, or the ever scandalous – Heidi. You’re point will definitely be made! So if you can’t live like the “Hill-arious” Ladies at least let your friends know what they mean to you in true SoCal style.

There’s a bunch more of the “EmotiClips” after the jump.

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Paris Hilton Is Helping (Again)

Paris Hilton at Helio Summer Celebration, Benefiting Heal the Bay, Pictures, Photos

Our budding Humanitarian of the Year showed up at yet another charity function: Helio’s Summer Celebration, benefiting Heal the Bay. HTB is a “nonprofit environmental organization dedicated to making Southern California coastal waters and watersheds, including Santa Monica Bay, safe, healthy and clean.”

The event was hosted by Amy Smart and Emmy Rossum, but I’m sure Paris commanded the majority of the attention. A bespectacled Rumer Willis made an appearance, as did Lindsay Lohan’s summer 2006 love, Harry Morton, who we haven’t seen in quite some time.

Rumer Willis at Helio Summer Celebration, Benefiting Heal the Bay, Pictures, Photos Harry Morton at Helio Summer Celebration, Benefiting Heal the Bay, Pictures, Photos Amy Smart and Emmy Rossum at Helio Summer Celebration, Benefiting Heal the Bay, Pictures, Photos Paris Hilton at Helio Summer Celebration, Benefiting Heal the Bay, Pictures, Photos