Here I thought we were done with Valentine’s Day, but, alas, I still have to write about all the romantic crap that happened to people who aren’t me last night. So okay.

Keri Russell decided the only thing better than getting knocked up would be to actually marry the kid’s father before the kid’s born. Well, either she decided that or her father did. So Felicity and longtime man Shane Deary tied the knot at a small ceremony in NYC last night. They’re expecting the baby this summer.

Meanwhile, word has circulated all this morning that 22-year-old Ugly Betty star America Ferrera got engaged to her no-name boyfriend last night (or last month, depending on which rumor you believe). Her rep says it’s not true. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised that he proposed to America, who is rapidly rocketing light-years away from his league, but I would have been really shocked if she’d said yes. Although it’s nice to see that amidst all the fame and attention she’s getting lately, she’s sticking with the man she met in film school. And I haven’t seen a picture of her holding hands with Paris Hilton yet. I have high hopes for this girl.

Who does this idiot think he is? After Charles Barkley and LeBron James came out supporting their fellow NBA player, John Amaechi, after he came out of the closet hateful Tim Hardaway has come out against gay men in his league.

“Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. It shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.”

Ok Tim, you don’t like gay people but it might have been a good idea to keep it to yourself. By saying this you sound ignorant and hateful. He didn’t stop at that comment though, he went on to say,

“I don’t condone it. And if people got problems with it, I’m sorry. I’m saying I can’t stand being around that person, knowing that they sleep with somebody of the same sex.”

On the subject of a gay person being on his basketball team Tim Hardaway stated,

“First of all, I wouldn’t want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, you know, I would really distance myself from him because I don’t think that is right.”

Before Hardaway’s comments he was making NBA-related charitable appearances as part of the “NBA Legends” but that came to a quick end after his tirade on Miami-based radio show 790 The Ticket. Way to kill your post-basketball career Tim. Note to celebrities, the gays aren’t going away. Don’t hate on them or you’ll be sorry.

Is the theme GangBang or Groupie?

Who the hell came up with this idea? Repeat after me.
Swimsuit issue = girls.
Musicians = headphones.
Eye Shadow = evidently both.

Everyone knows about Beyonce taking the Sports Illustrated Cover. But what you may have missed is a striking womyn named Brooklyn Decker appearing in the same issue. Yes, she sounds like a sandwich but she’s quite lovely all the same.

Here’s the weird thing. Someone thought it would be wonderful idea to pose her with Jimmy Buffet, who is in fact 97.5 years old. Do you think he gave her his number afterwards? I had a Jimmy Buffet phase AND a SI Swimsuit issue phase so it’s nothing personal but the photo really creeped me out.

Also, I can tell you, never again will a page on a swimsuit issue be cropped so swiftly by our nation’s teenagers.

*photos courtesy of Sports Illustrated

It’s funny, see, because the girl falls down. Her name’s Jael. I don’t understand how she could be expected to support her own weight even under nominal circumstances. Her legs are like extended pinkies. New “cycle” (I hate myself each time I have to say that) starts Feb 28 on the CW.