Well, Hilary. Your ex-boyfriend is having a baby with his new girlfriend, who got pregnant against all anatomical odds. They’re giving exclusive interviews to Diane Sawyer. He’ll probably marry her soon.
But you, my dear, get to host the Teen Choice Awards!!! Isn’t that a fabulous consolation prize? Well, that, and, you’re not knocked up right now. Or going to jail.
Hilary and Nick Cannon were announced today as the hosts. The show will air August 26 on Fox.
From Page Six:
Lindsay Lohan may have one loyal person on her payroll after all – her bodyguard, Jaz. A source tells The Post’s Marianne Garvey that the troubled starlet’s ever-present guard and driver, Jazman Bennett, has been fielding offers of up to $500,000 from magazines and news outlets in the U.S. and London, but has turned down every one. He’s known for being loyal and protective – unlike Lohan’s former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, who sold her out to News of the World, saying he “lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing.”
Loyal and protective? I think it’s more likely that Lindsay learned her lesson and made this guy sign a contract ensuring he would not sell his story to the press. She can probably sue him for way more than $500K if he talks.
Rumors spread earlier this week that Paris Hilton’s grandfather, Barron Hilton, had taken the heiress out of his will after her recent jail stay, having finally had enough of her tarnishing the family name.
Not true, says the NY Post. A family rep sent the paper the following quote from the elder Hilton: “I love her very much and am proud of what she has accomplished.”
During her interview with Diane Sawyer today, Nicole Richie finally confirmed that she’s pregnant.
“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” she told Diane. “I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong.”
Okay, okay, she said that last part about her recent DUI, but I just think it’s funnier if you apply it to having sex with Joel Madden. She continues to say that “if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”
Whatever, Nicole, no one’s even that impressed with your antics anymore. So you popped some Vicodin and got confused about an L.A. freeway on-ramp. I do that at least daily. Lindsay Lohan fucking kidnapped people. You girls need to step up your game, stat. I’m thinking some manner of drug-smuggling ring involving single-mother, illegal immigrants. Who you kidnapped.
The interview with Diane will air on ABC on Thursday and Friday.
We’re making some changes to the layout. We’re not good at this stuff. Hang on tight — if it’s not all better by morning, we’ll put the old layout back up.
Update: Okay, we’re done changing the layout. You should now feel free to use this space to tell us why and in what amount you dislike the new layout.
Update again: If you’re still having trouble viewing the new layout, try doing Ctrl-F5. If it still looks off, let me know what browser you’re using.
More photos of little Jayden James Federline. [cityrag]
Hayden Panettiere’s 17, so we can’t yet be running photos of her nip slips and crotch shots. But her wedgie-picking? Yeah, we can do that. [Drunken Stepfather]
Looks like Usher called off his wedding because his mom wasn’t going to be there. [The Bosh]
Star Jones finally fesses up to the gastric bypass. [Daily Stab]
AmIdol alum Corey Clark gets arrested yet again. Although I’m starting to believe that he did hook up with Paula Abdul. [SOW]
Not that you really needed someone to tell you this, but Coreys Feldman and Haim have a new reality show, and you probably shouldn’t watch it. [Pajiba]
The Roseanne star and her girlfriend, producer Allison Adler, are reportedly taking turns having babies.
The couple welcomed son Levi Hank, who Allison carried, in October 2004, and are looking forward to another addition to their family later this year.
Taking turns having babies definitely goes down in my book as one huge advantage to being a lesbian. Wouldn’t it be great if all couples could do that? Like, “No, Tom, darling, work’s really busy for me this year, and I have that trip planned with Janice in the spring, so why don’t you carry the pregnancy to term this time?”