I rarely use this blog for matters of this sort, but trying to get my cable television to work is rapidly becoming my full-time job. My HDTV box doesn’t work. I call Time Warner, and they’re like, “Well, clearly there’s a problem with your box.” (Insert my friend Shannon, who, when presented with this problem, responds, “You need your box to work if you wanna get some play. Get it? Play?” She’s funny.) My box was just installed a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t done anything like drop it off my balcony in the meantime, so this is obviously their fault. “What can I do about this?” I ask. “Well,” responds the helpful lady, “you need to bring it in and exchange it for a new one.” This seems doable enough. “Except,” she says, “we don’t accept HDTV boxes in our centers. So you’ll have to set up an appointment to have someone come in and replace it.” This, of course, requires that I take time off work — which I already did several weeks ago to have the first one installed. “Are you serious?” I ask. “Very,” she responds.
So here’s the question I pose to you, dear readers: What are my options? It seems very unfair that, in the year 2007, my one and only option for acquiring MTV is Time Warner Cable. I hear murmurings about IPTV, DirectTV, etc. I live on the Westside in LA. What else is available here? Has anyone had any positive experiences with a cable company around here? Help would be much appreciated. Leave it in the comments or shoot me an email at email@example.com.
Every now and then one of the fabulous advertisements on Evil Beet will catch my attention, and I’ll click (rarely, Google, rarely). Tonight, my rantings about the Father of the Year award surely due Alec Baldwin prompted Google to advertise this. It’s a book by Stephen Baldwin, titled, and I quote, The Unusual Suspect: My Calling to the New Hardcore Movement of Faith.
Reads the Publisher’s Weekly review:
As the youngest son of six children, at the tail end of the (in)famous Baldwin brothers acting family, Stephen Baldwin has never done anything by halves. In this exhausting autobiographical report, Baldwin depicts himself as a wild, fun-loving extremist who mended his ways after making a personal commitment to Christ a few years back. Faced with his boldness bordering on fanaticism, readers will either love or hate Baldwin’s take on the Christian life. At the outset, some may cringe at his recollections at being invited to the Playboy mansion, and his former caveman mentality toward women will likely cause some ire. Yet despite the audacious talk, Baldwin pointedly admits with some measure of humility his current struggles to “live out” a genuine God-honoring faith. He discusses how his new faith has affected his family, details the life events that brought him to Christ and offers randomly presented musings on marriage, prayer, purity, divine intervention and evangelism. If Baldwin’s intent is to rev up the blood pressure of Christian readers while simultaneously challenging them to more courageous, faith-guided living, the venture succeeds. But be warned: this is not a gentle chronicle but an almost spastic spiritual memoir by someone on perpetual fast-forward.
Thank God he scored that role in The Usual Suspects. Otherwise, what would he have called this book? Threesome: My Calling to the Trinity? Or perhaps Biodome: Trapped in the Shelter of the Spirit? Maybe Half Baked: My Latest Plan to Kick My Drug Habit? Okay, okay. I’ll stop now.
Anna Nicole’s mother was having sex with her step-brother. Someone, quick, give that woman a small baby to take care of. [A Socialite's Life]
If you’ve begun collecting celebrity crotch shots like they were baseball cards, you can add Mischa Barton to the stack. [Ninja Dude]
Heather Graham is a dead ringer for Tori Amos in her new red hair. [AB]
Jessica Alba shoots a commercial for Revlon. And if you thought their make-up was barely visible, you should see her skirt. [The Blemish]
Behind the scenes with Fall Out Boy. [Bree]
Beyonce, Kimora and Tyra. Does this mean the apocalypse is next? [IBBB]
Sanjaya Malakar speaks about his time on Idol. [Celebrity Smack]
Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace hacker speaks. [CelebSlam]
Alec Baldwin’s rep has made a statement to Extra! about the angry message he left on his daughter’s voicemail.
We’ve learned that on Wednesday, Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin’s visitation rights. A hearing is set for May 4, where the judge could permanently deny Baldwin visitation or contact with Ireland [Alec's daughter].
Calls to Basinger’s attorneys, celebrity lawyers Neal Hersh and Judy Bogen, were not returned.
Baldwin’s lawyer, Vicki Greene, told TMZ, “Whatever happened yesterday was sealed and confidential. What you’re telling me you’ve got you shouldn’t have.”
Alec Baldwin’s spokesperson released the following statement to the TV show “EXTRA”: “In the best interest of the child, Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing … keeping his mouth shut and obeying the court order. The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order. Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years.”
Um, okay, Mr. Spokesperson? You do not rock at your job. It would be one thing if Alec himself had referred to Kim Basinger as “pathologically incapable” of something, but you, my dear, are supposed to be the one responsible for issuing mature-sounding statements to the press in the midst of what appear to be some very immature family court proceedings. Stop and think it through next time.
It’s not like they’ll have a choice. I mean, Isaiah Washington is a fucking shoe-in for the Best Supporting Actor Emmy this year. And what an unfair position in which to put the Academy. To be willed — nay, downright forced – to hand an admitted homophobe an Emmy or be accused of voting based on matters other than sheer talent. It’s just not right. Accordingly, Isaiah Washington has pulled his name from consideration for the Best Supporting Actor Emmy. So everyone can just calm down and stop losing sleep over Isaiah Washington’s until now inevitable Emmy win.
Jesus. Is this how you work an ninth step in gayhab?