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17Tori is Once Again Knocked Up

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There is something in the water in Hollywood. Seriously everyone is having a baby. I understand this is a new trend but one I can not follow. I have a dog…she is enough to handle plus I finally just got back in my jeans after my holiday eating extravaganza.

Tori Spelling…who seemed to just get all skinny again (not that she never was…I mean the woman seemed to gain like 5 pounds when she was preggos) is evidently in her second trimester already.

Her son, Liam, just turned 1 and I guess they are eager to keep expanding their family. This marriage seems to be going strong even though it started out in scandal. I’m happy for Tori and Dean.

Their reality show was also just renewed…ohhhhh a reality show about a woman getting ready to have a baby. That has never been done. Oh…wait…yes is has. Over and over again. Honestly I want to go over to Hollywood and sit the writers and the big wigs down and make them watch “Tori and Dean Inn Love” for 24 hours straight…I bet that would help negotiations.

January 24, 2008 at 12:06 pm by EvilT
Filed Under: Tori Spelling

13Fashion Victim of the Week

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Since the T is back for the moment…I thought I would bring back Fashion Victim of the Week!

Now I am a big Lucy Liu fan, I watched “Cashmere Mafia” a few times to give props to productions that film in NYC but seriously…the clothes she is wearing to promote this show is just a joke.

This outfit is just crazy. The purple dress is cute but they you add this weird Pepto Bismol shrug thing. Honestly it looks like she put on her normal clothes and Bobby Trendy attacked her with pink chiffon. Somebody needs to tell this woman she is NOT Sarah Jessica Parker. It worked for her in the “Sex and the City” days because she was an icon. It seems weird to be taking risks like this before your show is a hit.

“Cashmere Mafia” really is the bastard child of “Lipstick Jungle.” FYI they were the same show until Darren Star and Candace Bushnell got in a big spat. Sadly we are left with this disaster in its wake.

January 24, 2008 at 10:23 am by EvilT
Filed Under: "Fashion"

15Eva Longoria Confuses Me

Eva Longoria Confuses Me

There are many women I have the “hots” for. It’s just that Eva Longoria isn’t one of them. Yet every marketing effort that surrounds her seems to be on how “sexy” she is.

Take for instance this new movie she’s pimping in this photo, Over Her Dead Body.

Now, in fairness, I haven’t seen it. But I have heard from industry folk that it’s just wretched. And they wouldn’t dare lie to me because I hold grudges forever.

My point (yes, I have one) is this: Let’s just market Eva as the quasi-hot mom. There are worse things to be, right?

January 24, 2008 at 9:41 am by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Eva Longoria

2Strike News

I’m going on the record as saying they are going to settle this thing… pronto.

I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting stuff around here and I think everyone wants The Oscars to go on as per normal.

So then, if you’re in a strike pool – bet it ALL!

January 24, 2008 at 9:18 am by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Uncategorized

32Logic Free Arguments

Tom Cruise is Crazy

Clearly, I love when celebs say stupid things – why else why I be filling in for her majesty, Ms. Evil Beet, this week? Thankfully the gossip gods rewarded me this morning with something fun, right about here.

Let’s break this thing down.

Adam Sandler: Stop Picking on Tom Cruise

Already I’m excited and tingly.

“To see anyone’s private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening,” Adam Sandler tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement.

Hmm, you know, I almost sort of agree with this statement. However, I’ve got to wonder, why folks aren’t invading Adam’s life? Could it be because he doesn’t go on TV as a mouthpiece for his religion? Just a thought.

Earlier this month, Andrew Morton’s scathing biography of Cruise hit shelves; meanwhile, a pro-Scientology video starring the actor hit the Internet and became the butt of jokes.

Dude, that video is INSANE. It is insane in the membrane. You simply must laugh at that, there is no other rational response. Oh, and someone wrote a book? Okay. These things tend to happen when you pull down $20m a film and run a studio.

Actually, you know what, let’s do a little test here. Ready? Go!

What do you know about Will Smith and/or Tom Hanks? When is the last paparazzi shot you saw of him? How many times has he gone on The Today show saying psychiatrists are the enemy? How many times has he bashed Brooke Shields? If you answered 1) Not much 2) I don’t recall 3) Zero and 4) Never you win! That’s right guys, you can actually be a major star in this universe AND not become the butt of jokes. How do you do it? Maintain some sense of privacy and admit that you may not have the final word on all things spirituality. Sheesh.

The drivel continues:

But many of Cruise’s friends and colleagues are not laughing. Dustin Hoffman, Cruise’s Rain Man co-star, tells PEOPLE: “Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion.”

I love that they credit Rain Man which came out around 1975. Nice pull. Also, and I’m going to put this in CAPS because it really is crucial to this discussion:

NO ONE HAS TAKEN AWAY TOM’S RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH OR RELIGION.

I mean really. Dustin, no way are you that stupid. You can’t be. You only fly Quantas airlines. The fact of the matter is we’re all using our freedom of speech to point out that, at this moment, Tom Cruise is one scary dude. But as far as I know nobody has shown up and demanded he put down the Scientology pipe. You have a right to say whatever you like and everyone else has the right to ignore/ridicule you.

“Imagine having a baby and people talking about it the way they did,” says Stiller. “People lose sight of the fact that Tom Cruise is actually a person. I feel for him.”

What do you know about Ben Stiller? Nada? Yes, that’s because he hasn’t preached to you. It’s weird how people become uncomfortable with others using their fame in matters of faith. Would it be hard to be Tommy right now? Probably so. But if he just wanted to live a normal private life he could have easily done that. Instead he’s chosen to project that he has the moral highground on matters of God and religion.

Plus, no offense, he turned Katie Holmes into a robot which was SUPER uncool.

I really liked her.

**Update**
As commenter Snow Ball mentions; I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Click sucked on wheels. So you watch yourself Adam.

January 24, 2008 at 9:10 am by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise

8Creepy Overload

I am a huge fan of CuteOverload.com really when the going gets tough I like to look at cute little animals in funny positions. I happen to have the cutest dog alive but sometimes when I try to put her in funny situations or clothes she gets mad and hides.

So after a rough day I went to the site and I found this.

Uh, somehow this is the most trippy thing I have ever seen. Who the hell wants to bite the head of a cute robotic panda every morning?

January 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm by EvilT
Filed Under: Uncategorized