Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Things You Can Do In the Amount of Time Nicole Richie Spent in Jail

CBS put together this lovely list:

You can order a pizza from Pizza Hut and Domino’s and expect it to arrive at your door…and have time to eat it. Not that Nicole eats much…but the rest of us can.

You can drive from Los Angeles to Long Beach (if traffic is light).

You can read an entire issue of “US Weekly.”

You can wait on line at the post office in Sherman Oaks (the express line usually takes less than an hour. Unless you’re holding extremely heavy packages. Then, of course, clerks go off duty to delight in watching you struggle.)

You can get out of the Dodgers parking lot (even when they are sold out) with their new parking procedures. Last year, not so much. There were games where fans (the web team included) spent 2 hours trying to get out of the lot.

You can play a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit…especially if your opponents aren’t very bright.

You can burn 559 calories while running cross-country (provided you weigh 100 pounds).

You can fly to Vegas and wait for your bag and get to a casino on the strip….if it’s not too far down the strip.

You can watch the entire “Simpsons” movie as it is exactly 82 minutes long.

You can get a haircut (no waiting) at most barbers and hair salons (appointments necessary, of course)

You can watch three episodes of “The Simple Life”…

You can have lipo done during your lunch hour…including a stop at In ‘N Out (presumably before the lipo.)

Blake Lewis Inks Record Deal

Blake Lewis Signs Record Deal with 19 Arista

I guess it’s American Idol day. Or, you know, I guess it’s a really slow news day.

On the heels of the release of the first Jordin Sparks single, “Tattoo,” comes the news that runner-up Blake Lewis has signed a recording deal with 19 Recordings/Arista Records. His album’s due in late 2007.

“Blake has a strong music sensibility and knows who he is and what his music should represent,” says Clive Davis, who basically seems to be in the business of supporting every AmIdol contestant whose name isn’t Kelly Clarkson. “His collaborators are all knocked out by him.”

Kirsten Dunst Was Robbed

Kirsten Dunst’s SoHo Grand Hotel Room Robbed

According to the AP, a $13,000 handbag and some other items were stolen from Kirsten Dunst’s room in the SoHo Grand Hotel on August 9. She’s in NYC filming How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, and was not in the room when the robbery occurred.

They also took $2,500 in cash, credit and ID cards, two digital cameras, a cell phone and an iPod music player, court records show.

A surveillance camera in the lobby spotted them leaving.

One suspect, Jarrod Beinerman, 33, was being held on $50,000 bond after being arraigned in a Manhattan court Wednesday on burglary and grand larceny charges. He had been arrested after going to a Brooklyn court for an unrelated case Tuesday.

Beinerman’s lawyer told a judge that the surveillance camera showed his client wasn’t carrying anything in his hands when he left the SoHo Grand. The lawyer, James Kirschner, said Beinerman had heard a movie was being filmed at the hotel and “went there to check out what was going on.”

Authorities have since recovered credit cards, IDs and the cell phone.

I wanna see what was on the digital cameras!!

You’re So Cool, Constantine

Constantine Maroulis at ESPN Deportes La Revista Party

The former AmIdol contestant made an appearance at the ESPN Deportes La Revista blah blah blah blah … these are always such non-events. I have no idea what he was doing there. Especially with Anthony Fedorov.

What the hell does Constantine have to do with a Spanish sports magazine?

Isn’t he Greek?

Just because he looks like he could be Spanish doesn’t mean he had any reason to be there. Yet he was.

Constantine Maroulis and Anthony Fedorov constantine1.jpg constantine3.jpg