Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Even Dead, He Was Still a Jag-Off

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A month ago I mentioned that I hoped this guy died soon.

And now he has. Everyone is rushing to lionize what a pioneering and wonderful man he was but this at best a half-truth. He was a proud censor, a man who made sure a priest helped form our rating systems, a bigot and a homophobe. He was a world class fuckhead, and even in death he’s not going to get a pass from me.

MUCH more ranting and raving after the more button Read More

Quote of the Day

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Joss Stone thinks that maybe Britney just wanted a little airing out.

We shouldn’t be mad at Britney Spears because she didn’t wear underwear. That’s her choice. She wasn’t hurting anybody. That was her. She decided not to wear underwear. Maybe she wanted a little breeze. That’s her decision. But we should be mad at the guy who posted it on the Internet. What an [expletive], what a [expletive] [expletive]. That’s a really mean, nasty, malicious, terrible thing to do to somebody.

When you flash your cha cha to a bunch of paps and you are also hanging out with Paris Hilton at the time we have no other choice to post it on the internet. I have a feeling she knew the va jay jay was going to end up on the web…why else would you listen to the drone of that celebutard?

Fashion Victim of the Week

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Julian Schnabel at the Breakthrough 2007- NFAA youngARTs Event shows us why old dudes shouldn’t try to be hip. From the waist up I am not thrilled with the outfit but it isn’t tragic. Waist down he is funky in a bad way. Those are some hip shoes but they should be worn by Zack Efron not some random old dude. I’m also worried that your sarong is going to fall off. I don’t want to see old guy naked.

Evidently There is a Penis Fish

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Want to know if the Penis Fish on “Grey’s Anatomy” really exists?

Here is some information from your resident internet whore…the T.

‎The candirú or canero (Vandellia cirrhosa) or toothpick fish is a freshwater fish in the group commonly called the catfish. It is found in the Amazon River and has a reputation among the natives as the most feared fish in its waters, even over the piranha. The species has been known to grow to a size of 6 inches in length and is eel shaped and translucent, making it almost impossible to see in the water. The candirú is a parasite.

oh and there is more!

It is feared by the natives because it is attracted to urine or blood[2], and if the bather is nude it will swim into an orifice (the anus or vagina, or even the penis—and deep into the urethra). It then erects its spine and begins to feed on the blood and body tissue just as it would from the gills of a fish. The candirú is then almost impossible to remove except through surgery. The fish locates its host by following a water flow to its source and thus urinating while bathing increases the chance of a candirú homing in on a human urethra.

Wikapedia…thank you.

She’s an Ugly Dude

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Or is he an ugly chick?

I’m a bit confused. Alexis Arquette is seen here at the “She’s My Brother” film premiere. He/She looks a big haggard. Def more Lindsay Lohan than Scarlett Johansson.

This movie, according to IMDB is “A documentary on Alexis Arquette and the process of her sex reassignment surgery.” Does that mean that he/she doesn’t have a penis? Interesting…

I couldn’t find much about the movie but more power to her if she/he…oh I give up…is a proud woman. I just hope that maybe she learns about something Teri Hatcher knows quite well of…the beauty of BOTOX.

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New York Trash

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So last week I was going to the gym and I saw these little notes (on card stock paper mind you) taped up and down my hallway. They also were printed in various fonts, BOLD, and varying colors show show emphasis. Not only was a little shocked to see that one of my neighbors cared enough to actually post a community note but also more shocked to discover that one of my (way cooler) neighbors sent this note into the New York Times.

Hereit is in all its glory.

To Whom It May Concern:

“It remains a mystery to the majority of us as to why you have not yet understood the simple concept that trash must be placed down the trash chute — not just inside the door of the room the trash chute occupies.

“Perhaps you have not previously resided in an apartment building. Perhaps you lack understanding of the nature of the semi-communal living situation involved therein.

“Whatever the case, your fellow residents of the 21st floor are fed up with your continued inconsideration. We are not your mother, and therefore it is not our job to clean up after you.

“Put your trash down the trash chute!
“Sincerely, your neighbors on the 21st floor.”

Ah New York. My kind of town.