Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan’s Career is at its APEX, Guys

photo of lindsay lohan no h8 campaign pictures photos

How hard has Lindsay’s acting career stalled? If you really need an in-depth analysis with regard to the answer, just watch the proceeding video. Then? Watch it again. After that, for good measure, watch it one more time. Then, try your hardest to tell me that this “talented actress” deserves anything more than permanent duct tape over her mouth, let alone a comeback. Ready? GO.

No, I don’t think I do want to see a Lindsay Lohan revival. I don’t think I’m particularly interested in knowing whether Lindsay’s acting chops are up to the task of being respectfully employed again. Because this kind of stuff? Is the BS I live for. This is classic, cracked-out, self-entitled, look-the-frig-at-me Lindsay Lohan and after all of this time, we see it’s WHO SHE IS.

Honestly, who could ask for anything more?

Check out the gallery for another No H8 photo of Lindsay, and then a few of her carrying a box of muffins in stupid-ass shoes, just because.

Hm. Kristen Stewart Never Really Struck Me as the Yoga Type, But OK.

photo of kristen stewart going to yoga class pictures photos hot tight pants pics

Huh. Some wonders never cease to amaze me. It’s surprising enough that Kristen Stewart goes to yoga classes (it’s a new thing for her, as far as I’m aware), but to wear YOGA PANTS? I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen this girl in anything but jeans (and couture dresses, but that’s a given in this LOB). Makes sense, though, I suppose – she would look a little funny trying to bend herself in a pretzel wearing skinny jeans and an overly-tight long-sleeved t-shirt. But I still wouldn’t put it past her, I guess, you know?

Cheryl Cole Obtains Court Order Against Everyone

Cheryl Cole on May 16

Yikes! Take a photo of Cheryl Cole, go to jail?

Cheryl Cole, from the British pop group Girls Aloud, managed to get a court injunction forbidding everybody from photographing her anywhere near her London home.

The court order itself, which lasts through 2011, is particularly foreboding: “Any person who knows of this order and disobeys this order will be in contempt of court and face imprisonment, fined and have their assets seized.” Hooooohhh-kay.

It is pretty nuts to have your fans arrested, even if some of them are annoying shutterbugs. Then again, Cheryl Cole’s yen for Private Time is understandable—she’s seriously had the worst summer.

The story so far: Cheryl Cole was tapped to be a judge on the U.S. version of Simon Cowell‘s X Factor. To prepare for her new role, she moved to LA, lost a ton of weight, and tried to tame her thick ‘Geordie’ accent. Then, just two months after the initial announcement, Cole was abruptly fired for reasons yet unknown. Worse, she was replaced by snippy little Nicole Scherzinger. (The whole debacle is especially humiliating because Simon Cowell can’t seem to shut up.)

Now some people are saying Cole is so embarrassed, she’s retiring from showbiz completely. Regardless, it’s probably difficult to lay low once you’ve papered your own home and neighborhood with threatening flyers. Total kooksville.

This is neither here nor there, but last year Cheryl Cole caught malaria. Yep. Malaria, and then everything else happened. I’d go nuts, too.