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OMG this is like my favorite event of the YEAR!!!

I would have written this post earlier, except the cable man came today to install cable and my new DVR, and it was like a precious angel descended from heaven in the form of a very friendly large black man and made it possible, for the first time in four months, for me to watch television efficiently again. Oh, joy joy joy! Watching House for the first time in four months is like having your husband return from Iraq. I feel whole again, like my best friend has come back into my life after a long and painful absence.

So anyway.

Let’s get to the dresses, shall we????

I’ll start with the best, then move on to the worst, and all the rest are in thumbnails after the jump.


Here’s Bee Shafer, Anna Wintour’s daughter. I adore this dress. I like that it manages to be both old-school and modern, and the color and embroidery are stunning.

Forget Mary-Kate; they didn’t pose for photos separately, but Ashley Olsen is looking absolutely stunning lately. She looks healthy, happy, natural, womanly, serene, and just overall fucking incredible. It’s such a joy to see after so many years of her looking like a bag lady.

Eva Longoria. Stunning. That dress is a work of art. I want to go swimming in it. Incredible.

Christina Ricci. I love this dress because it manages to be unique, shapely, fresh, and sexy without looking ridiculous. It was definitely a big risk, but I think it looks great.

Now for the fun part:


Piper Perabo. Um, talk about Coyote Ugly. You would not want to wake up next to this. Here’s what’s most appalling about this look: the art-deco dress, the Princess Leia hair, the high-school goth makeup, the space-age purse and the mismatched earrings. Yup, I think that about covers it. And thank God we can’t see her shoes, because I’m sure they’re, like, clogs or something. Who the fuck invites Piper Perabo to this event anyway?

Zoe Kravitz. Normally I adore Zoe, but here she looks like a little girl who rummaged through her mother’s closet. The dress doesn’t fit her, and the boa with the tassels? Did a stripper just graduate from college?

Kimora Lee. This is a costume ball, Kimora, not a Mexican restaurant. But I suppose it’s a success in that it totally distracts from your face.

Fergie. No surprise here. She looks like she killed Morticia Addams on the way to the ball. And what’s with the fat rolls over your boobs, Fergie? Maybe you should get back to the gym and be workin’ on your fitness. Or, ya know, get a dress that fits next time.

The only thing I hate more than Jessica Stam is Jessica Stam’s shoes. Why does she always insist on wearing those horrendous creations? They are flattering on nobody, nobody, nobody. They look like medieval torture devices. And red toenail polish with that outfit? How high are you, Jessica?

Okay, I think I’m done now.

There’s like 100 more photos after the jump, of everybody who’s anybody who’s not Paris, Lindsay or Britney. Britney’s in LA preparing for her court date tomorrow. Lindsay’s getting high with Samantha Ronson, and Paris — well — I don’t know why Paris isn’t there, but I’m just going to shut up and be grateful for it.


May 6, 2008 at 12:00 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

27Mariah Carey (with Nick Cannon): “Bye Bye” Video Premiere

What’s the verdict?

Is there genuine chemistry here?

May 5, 2008 at 6:21 pm by Evil Beet
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17Not Fat Anymore!

Remember the old days when Mariah was getting a little on the chunky side?

Not anymore!

Mariah rocks her hot bod for the new issue of Vibe magazine, and she looks amazing!

You know one thing I love about Mariah? She’s almost always smiling in her photographs, looking like she’s having fun, not giving the camera some angry pout or serious face, like all the young female celebrities these days. It’s endearing.

Meanwhile, Vibe’s associate editor is busy talking about the chemistry (or lack thereof) she saw between Nick and Mariah when she met up with MC to do the interview. Says Shanel Odum:

I was on the resort island of Jumby Bay; it is an island in the West Indies. Mariah was celebrating her 38th birthday there. She rented out this huge villa that was $12, 500 a night – gorgeous lay-out right on the edge of the Caribbean ocean, and she invited a handful of her closest friends and associates to help bring in her birthday.

The couple of guests that I saw there were Da Brat and Nick Cannon. I’d heard rumors that Nick Cannon was supposed to play her love interest in the video. They did a little candid photo shoot to make it seem like they were kissy–poo-poo. It was almost like they were trying to build the picture that maybe they were canoodling in real life. Like, really, it’s a cute idea, but I didn’t believe it for one second. I didn’t feel it was genuine. I believe that maybe Nick had a crush on her.

[Carey is] very over-the-top, flirtatious with the world. But I didn’t see any chemistry between the two of them at all. I didn’t see energy. I didn’t see any flirtation.

I’m a little bit skeptical about it. But of course, I can’t say anything for certain—I left before anyone went to the bed. I really felt like it was a cute publicity thing—just part of the video. Tabloid coverage is still promotion. Never a bad thing when you drop an album or movie. If I’d witnessed anything juicy while I was there, I would have it at least hinted at in my story.

Take it for what it’s worth, kids.

May 5, 2008 at 11:54 am by Evil Beet
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18Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson Engaged!

It’s official!

Scarlett’s rep has confirmed the engagement, saying that “they’re both thrilled.”

Scarlett’s expected to debut her ring tonight, at the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in New York. We’ll have the pics as soon as they exist, of course.

Ryan was, you’ll recall, previously engaged to Alanis Morissette, who I certainly hope will be writing some sort of angsty ditty about this bullshit. I hope it’s called “I’ve Released Seven Goddamn Albums and Not a Single One of Them Has Contained a Fucking Tom Waits Cover, You Pretentious Little Bitch.”

You know what’s really weird? Even though they’ve been dating for a year, there are no pictures of the two of them together. I checked three photo services, and couldn’t find a single one. Strange indeed.

May 5, 2008 at 11:40 am by Evil Beet
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5Blind Item!

Which newly minted TV star is a pushover who already looks ready for rehab? At an L.A. party, the actor was mocked into doing a bunch of shots, despite protesting numerous times that he had to drive that night.


May 5, 2008 at 11:02 am by Evil Beet
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5Rumors, Rumors …

We’re starting to hear rumors that Brad and Angelina will get married on Paul Allen’s yacht in France, sometime very soon.

But, ya know, we always hear these kinds of rumors.

Stay tuned.

May 5, 2008 at 9:05 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized