Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Liv Tyler is Hulky

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Liv Tyler is going to be in the new Incredible Hulk movie (with Ed Norton) according to superherohype.com which is in fact the geekiest site URL known to man.

I know we don’t usually get into casting news around here but I think this is good. And I like Liv Tyler. I would have done the animal cracker thing with her in Armageddon and I wouldn’t do that for just anyone because it was completely chees-o-riffic.

And, as I am at work before 6am, I want to run a Liv Tyler photo just to keep me going. It’s the little things, don’t judge me.

Well now you’re just being abusive. Whatever.

Lovin’ Some Missy Higgins

Last year, my kid sister did a study abroad in Australia (because, apparently, my parents can magically afford things like private colleges and studies abroad for her, but I’m not bitter, but it’s just interesting, I think, when you consider that I’ve been pretty much self-supporting since the age of 18 and she’s just now embarking on six years of a Ph.D. program after which she might make some semblance of a salary as a marine biologist by the age of 30 but it was just way too expensive for me to do a study abroad, but I’m not bitter at all*) and she came back with an Australian accent (about which I mercilessly teased her), the most amazing box of chocolates (Tim Tams, I think they were called) and a CD of Australian musicians. It took me weeks to get past the first track: Missy Higgins, “Scar.” I hadn’t thought about Missy in awhile, but her pics came up on WireImage today, because I guess she was performing on some show in Australia. Anyway, it reminded me of how hard that song rocked, and I wanted to share it with you, my lovelies. Enjoy.








*I am so getting a phone call from my mom about this post. “But you didn’t want to do a study abroad, dear, remember? You wanted to go to a public university and live in the dorms and work at Blockbuster. You were very clear on that.”

Introducing: The Archives!

Not that anyone cares, but our genius of a webmaster (yours truly) finally figured out how to import the rest of the EB archives over from our old Blogger site. So if you want to know what was happening in, say, October 2006, it’s here now. Damn, I’m good. Only took me two months. Someone should give me a degree in computer science…

Links Comin’ Atcha Early Today

Because I’m just fuckin’ on top of it today.

I’m sure David Beckham was super excited that his birthday party was basically a Spice Girls reunion. [Cele|bitchy]

Look, Isaiah, it’s over. Just stop using homophobic slurs. No need to film a whole PSA about it. [The Bosh]

Who else is totally psyched for the J.Lo/Marc Anthony juggernaut that is El Cantante? [Junkiness]

It looks like Jessica Alba may be getting very, very naked for Sin City 2. [Agent Bedhead]

Please, David Hasselhoff, remind us again how your ex-wife has a substance abuse problem. I mean, after you sober up enough to eat a hamburger without assistance. [The Blemish]

Mr. Hail conducts a thorough analysis of some possible explanations for the white powder on Kate Moss’s pants as she leaves a London club. [Derek Hail]

The Smashing Pumpkins are touring again. Break out the Urban Decay nail polish. [ICYDK]

Brad and Angelina are still disgustingly in love. [Daily Stab]

Busta Rhymes gets pulled over due to having excessively tinted skin windows, and winds up with a DUI. [Yeeeah!]

Now that Lindsay and Britney don’t go to AA meetings, we’re forced to turn our attention to Mike Tyson’s rehabbing adventures. [Bossip]

A billion more Coachella photos, because some of you care. [Buzznet]

Hey, Paris, Wouldn’t It Be So Much Fun If You and Joe Francis Were Cell-Mates?

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Ooooh!!

Oh, guys, guys, then if Nicole Richie ends up getting sent to the slammer for her little wrong-way journey on the 134 you guys could all share a cell! It would be like a slumber party every night! It’s like this one time my one friend moved to New York for the summer and then me and my other best friend were like, “What the hell? We’ll move to New York too!” and then we all lived in this little studio on the upper west side and went clubbing every single night and hooked up with lots of total hottie I-bankers and briefly started a boutique PR agency but then decided it was less work just to be go-go dancers and we made these adorable matching t-shirts just like when we were in a sorority and we’d wake up all hungover but it was cool because there was a McDonalds right downstairs and omg it was so much fun.

It’ll be just like that, guys, except in jail!

Anyway, it looks like all this Joe Francis business has given those damn show-boating district attorneys a new sense of empowerment when it comes to the nauseating disregard for the law shown by the narcissistic A-list brat pack: they want to send Paris Hilton to jail. For reals.

Par-bear is showing up in court tomorrow for that whole probation violation thing. According to TMZ,

The legal papers ask that “Hilton be ordered to serve 45 days in County Jail.” Prosecutors also want her to be ordered “not to consume any alcohol for a continuous period of 90 days.” During that 90-day period, prosecutors want her “to be monitored for alcohol consumption … by use of a Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring (SCRAM) device at her expense.”

Oh, please, please, Lord, I don’t ask for much, but if all of this could please happen, I would be eternally grateful.

If Andy Dick Does Cocaine, It Must Be Cool

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Taken at Manhattan’s Snitch club last week.

Honestly, we need to can whatever dull anti-drug program we’re running in the middle schools these days and just send this guy on a national tour of seventh-grade classrooms. Just have him fucking talk about whatever under a big banner that reads “THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS. ANY QUESTIONS?”

Ivanka Trump is in Looooove

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Juggling the roles of being the daughter of Donald Trump and the very most qualified Vice President in the Trump Organization is certain to wear a girl out. Ivanka Trump deserves a little relaxation. A little sumpin’-sumpin’, if ya know what I mean, and who better to get it from than that other potent NYC hybrid of nepotism and ambition: New York Observer owner Jared Kushner, 25.

According to Gawker, the two were out bowling last night. “Every now and then they sneaked a kiss,” reports a spy. “They seemed to have been enjoying themselves until we made a big deal of them.”

Awww. How cute.