Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Neil Patrick Harris And Tons of Other Awesome People Are Allowed to Get Married Now!

A photo of Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, last night New York legalized gay marriage.  As if this news wasn’t beautiful enough, the word is that this wonderful decision is making other states reconsider their own stances on the issue.  Do you know how glorious it would be if all the states got it together long enough to make marriage legal for everyone?  It would be more glorious than dry humping Justin Timberlake. It would even be more glorious than Katy Perry’s boobs. And are you ready for this? The complete legalization of gay marriage would be EVEN MORE GLORIOUS than The Rock at Splash Mountain.  And that’s almost unbearably phenomenal.

Just to tie this all in to the celebrity gossip world, do you know what this decision means?  It means that beautiful Neil Patrick Harris will finally be able to marry his longtime boyfriend and fellow father, David Burtka, which is obviously fantastic.  Here’s Neil’s celebratory Tweet:

I know there’s still a ways to go (to directly quote a friend on the Facebook, “New York, New York. They embrace being gay while my state tries to make the word illegal! 6 down, 44 to go.”), but I’m a big believer in celebrating the victories.  So you all celebrate your asses off tonight, and I’ll see you in the morning!

Jessica Simpson Is Planning An Intervention for Ashlee

A photo of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson

That felt really strange to write. It’s like, when did this world become a place where Jessica Simpson could tell anyone “hey, you have a drinking problem”?  I guess it happened when Ashlee Simpson started looking a little bit like a heartless bitch and also started guzzling “eight to ten bottles of wine a week.” Yeah, probably somewhere around then.

From Star via Celebitchy:

Jessica Simpson has staged an intervention for her troubled 26-year-old sister, Ashlee. Ashlee is in the middle of a painful split from Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 32, with whom she has a 2-year-old son, Bronx. And reportedly, she’s not handling it well.

“Ashlee is downing eight to 10 bottled of wine a week,” a source reveals to Star. “Jessica is on a mission to save Ashlee from self-destructing, and she told her to funnel her angst into songwriting.”

Knee-deep in wedding prep, Jessica has even enlisted her fiancé, Eric Johnson, who has been helping Ashlee craft songs.

“Jessica has also been writing with Ashlee, but refuses to take any professional songwriting credit,” adds another insider. “The biggest reward for Jess will be seeing her baby sister bounce back.”

I’ll accept that Ashlee Simpson drinks ten bottles of wine every week. I could see that. But the bit about Eric Johnson, Jessica Simpson’s fiance who used to play football and go to business school, helping Ashlee write songs?  That’s just too bizarre in an oddly adorable way, isn’t it?

I believe Star this time around, but what about you guys?  Do you think Ashlee might be downing nearly a dozen bottles of wine every week, or do you think this is just more tabloid nonsense?

Quotables: Justin Timberlake Is An Advocate for Dry Humping

A photo of Justin Timberlake

“Well, I think we created the only dry humping scene ever seen in a movie. I’ve got to say there’s nothing wrong with a good jean jam. I’m serious. I don’t know why that’s funny to you guys. But also we felt collectively, the both of us, that we had a responsibility. And that was to the young people who are going to buy tickets to, I don’t know, Transformers and go see this movie because they’re underage. It really is a public service announcement for safe sex.”

- Justin Timberlake, who goes on to pronounce “nobody ever got pregnant with their jeans on.”

For those of you not in the know, Justin and Cameron Diaz are in this movie called Bad Teacher, which apparently has a pretty poignant dry humping scene.  That’s why both of them have made some pretty serious quotes about the dry hump and its relevance in society.  I think this is the best one so far though, because it does act as a PSA to dumb teenagers and also because it introduced the phrase “jean jam” into my life.  And that’s another reason why Justin Timberlake is slowly but surely winning my heart.