Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Guess What? Lindsay Lohan’s a Bitch!

Lindsay Lohan is Addicted to Sex

I know, I know. It’s shocking.

But with LiLo in hiding, we’re forced to dig deep for gossip on the starlet.

National Enquirer, in their usual fall-back plan, got a bunch of Lindsay’s “friends” to talk shit about her in exchange for a paycheck. And what do we learn from them? Lindsay, it turns out, is kind of a bitch, especially when she’s drinking.

After throwing back a few cold ones, Lindsay was known to exclaim: “I’m the greatest actress in the world! No one’s even close to me right now!” And what did she have to say about her competition? Nothing nice at all. Here’s what she thinks about the other girls in Hollywood:

Scarlett Johansson is “ugly, fat, and has no talent.”

Jessica Simpson “can’t sing and is as dumb as shit.”

Sienna Miller is a “no-talent crackhead.”

Keira Knightly is a “flat, shallow, cardboard cutout of an actress.”

Jessica Biel is a “phony, scheming joke of an actress.”

Her “friend” also says the actress is “addicted to sex.” According to this firiend:

I don’t think lindsay can sleep alone – absolutely refuses even to try- so she’ll drive around looking for some guy to be with. One late night she drove up to Adam Levine’s house and text-messaged him from her car, asking to be invited in. But he refused her, and she was furious. Another night she did the same thing to actor Ryan Phillippe. He wouldn’t open the door for her either. She’s so afraid to be alone that she picks up strangers at clubs or on the street, just because they’re good-looking. One night at the nightclub Les Deux, some guy I’d never seen before joined us. When I asked who he was, she said: ‘Oh, he’s the cashier at the liquor store I went to the other night. Isn’t he hot?’ If she can’t find someone to spend the night with, she stays up until daylight – then takes some Xanax or Ambien to get some sleep.

Oh Hell Yes: Kim Kardashian’s Getting a Reality TV Show

Kim Kardashian Reality TV Show

With The Simple Life coming to a permanent close, where are we going to get our doses of celebretard antics? Besides, you know, on all the gossip blogs?

Look no further than Kim Kardashian! Kim, her siblings and her step-siblings — including famewhore Brody Jenner — are slated to do a Brady Bunch-style show for an unnamed network (meaning it probably hasn’t been officially picked up yet — or she doesn’t want to admit that it’s VH1).

“We’re all so different,” says Kim about the show. “Khloe’s, like, hysterical and says these ridiculous things. Kourtney is such a bitch. I’m in between. Brody’s so wild. The two little ones are adorable…It’s just such a good mix.”

I give it four episodes.

Links Links Links

Vanity Fair releases their best-dressed list, and you don’t know anyone on it. [Cele|bitchy]

Pete Doherty claims he left Kate Moss, not the other way around. [Agent Bedhead]

Britney Spears asked the dentist to whiten her toddlers’ teeth. Maybe if you stopped putting Coca-Cola in their bottles, Britney, these problems would resolve themselves. [IBBB]

Vanessa Minnillo’s still a Bongo girl. So at least she has one job. [Gabby Babble]

Jennifer Lopez and her crypt-keeper husband attend the El Cantante premiere. [Glitterati]

Hee. Star magazine still hates Angelina Jolie. [popbytes]

Hilary Duff and Nick Cannon to Host Teen Choice Awards

Hilary Duff and Nick Cannon to Host Teen Choice Awards

Well, Hilary. Your ex-boyfriend is having a baby with his new girlfriend, who got pregnant against all anatomical odds. They’re giving exclusive interviews to Diane Sawyer. He’ll probably marry her soon.

But you, my dear, get to host the Teen Choice Awards!!! Isn’t that a fabulous consolation prize? Well, that, and, you’re not knocked up right now. Or going to jail.

Hilary and Nick Cannon were announced today as the hosts. The show will air August 26 on Fox.

Lindsay Lohan Thought to Have Her Latest Bodyguard Sign an NDA

Lindsay Lohan Bodyguard Jazman Bennett

From Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan may have one loyal person on her payroll after all – her bodyguard, Jaz. A source tells The Post’s Marianne Garvey that the troubled starlet’s ever-present guard and driver, Jazman Bennett, has been fielding offers of up to $500,000 from magazines and news outlets in the U.S. and London, but has turned down every one. He’s known for being loyal and protective – unlike Lohan’s former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, who sold her out to News of the World, saying he “lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing.”

Loyal and protective? I think it’s more likely that Lindsay learned her lesson and made this guy sign a contract ensuring he would not sell his story to the press. She can probably sue him for way more than $500K if he talks.

Paris Hilton’s Grandpa Doesn’t Hate Her After All

paris2.jpg

Rumors spread earlier this week that Paris Hilton’s grandfather, Barron Hilton, had taken the heiress out of his will after her recent jail stay, having finally had enough of her tarnishing the family name.

Not true, says the NY Post. A family rep sent the paper the following quote from the elder Hilton: “I love her very much and am proud of what she has accomplished.”

Nicole Richie: “Yeah, I’m Knocked Up”

Nicole Richie Confirms Pregnancy with Joel Madden to Diane Sawyer

During her interview with Diane Sawyer today, Nicole Richie finally confirmed that she’s pregnant.

“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” she told Diane. “I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong.”

Okay, okay, she said that last part about her recent DUI, but I just think it’s funnier if you apply it to having sex with Joel Madden. She continues to say that “if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”

Whatever, Nicole, no one’s even that impressed with your antics anymore. So you popped some Vicodin and got confused about an L.A. freeway on-ramp. I do that at least daily. Lindsay Lohan fucking kidnapped people. You girls need to step up your game, stat. I’m thinking some manner of drug-smuggling ring involving single-mother, illegal immigrants. Who you kidnapped.

The interview with Diane will air on ABC on Thursday and Friday.