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15I’m Back and Ashlee Simpson is TOTALLY Knocked Up

Sorry, it’s been a crazy morning. Little Leo got sick this morning, which of course basically sent his mother into epileptic seizures and we had to rush him to the vet. He’s fine, thank goodness. He just has little parasites, and he doesn’t even seem to notice that he’s sick. His energy level is fine and he’s eating fine, and we just have to give him special medicine for the parasites, but we spent the morning at the vet, asking again and again “Are you sure he’s going to be okay? Can you just check him once more?” while the vet patiently tried to reassure me that everything about him was healthy except the very treatable parasites. So anyway. On to less important matters.

Ashlee Simpson is completely, totally knocked up.

Reliable sources are reporting that Ashlee’s scheduled to get married next weekend, at an undisclosed location about an hour outside of LA. The invitations have already been sent out for the weekend of May 16.

Preggers. Preggers. Preggers.

May 7, 2008 at 11:35 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

14OMG Paris Hilton Is Exhausting

So, most nights I stay up until 3 am or so, waiting for the morning edition of Page Six to come out and all the late-night paparazzi pics to trickle in, so you guys can have them all when you arrive at your desks the next day.

However, tonight I am going to bed early. I am exhausted.

Wanna know why?

I spent tonight watching The Hottie and the Nottie DVD.

Yeah. It’s true.

I was doing a favor to the guys over at Film.com, none of whom were willing to bear the brunt of actually watching the flick. It would probably send their refined film-critic sensibilities into panic mode. So I watched the DVD and the special features tonight, and wrote a review (I’ll link you guys to it when it runs), but OMG can I just say that despite being a motherfucking executive producer and star of the film, Paris Hilton couldn’t find the time in her busy schedule of being a goddamn waste of space to do the commentary on the DVD? Instead there’s like a ten-minute clip of her putting female makeup on her male costar. She’s such a fucking self-obsessed flake. I hate her so much, and I’m exhausted by my sheer hate for her, and I’m going to sleep early tonight and I meet with my personal trainer tomorrow morning so updates will be slow until late morning/early afternoon.

OMG I hate her so much.

But I love you guys sooooo much.

May 7, 2008 at 1:02 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

28Happy Birthday, George Clooney!

George Clooney’s friends didn’t have to get him a hooker to help celebrate his 47th birthday — he’s dating one!

George and Sarah “Hooker” Larson showed up at a restaurant in NYC on Tuesday night to celebrate his birthday with friends.

And, yeah, that is a hole in her dress. Like, an intentional hole. At first I thought it was some sort of strange belt buckle, but, no. That’s just how the dress is made — with a hole. I guess it’s just one more access point for George to use when he fingers her under the table, because she’s classy like that.

May 7, 2008 at 12:52 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

6Your Daily Lindsay

On Tuesday, Leggings Lohan got coffee.

The end.

But this photo is especially exciting because, if you look closely, you can see the little clasps where they put in her hair extensions. And this is exciting to me because I am a huge loser with nothing else going on in my life so I have all kinds of time to carefully inspect every inch of a Lindsay Lohan photo. And you guys are the beneficiaries! Yay for you! Sad for me. :(

May 7, 2008 at 12:45 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

21She Works Hard for the Money!

After a stressful day in court, Britney Spears grabbed her trusty pack of Camels and headed to the recording studio.

Check out the new French manicure! It’s not even bitten off or anything!

And a new pair of cowboy boots! They’re still ugly as hell, but at least they’re not those stinky old ones she was wearing all damn winter.

Britney is pulling it together, people.

There’s gonna be a real comeback outta her, I just know it!

May 7, 2008 at 12:36 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

36Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Thanks so much to those of you who have taken the survey so far. And thank you to those of you who took the time to leave additional comments, and say very nice things about me that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love you guys, too.

Some responses to your comments:

1) I have changed the way thumbnails work. When there is more than one thumbnail in a post, you can now go through all of them without returning to the main page, using previous and next pics on a single pic page. Does that make any sense? Well some of you asked for it, so hopefully those people will understand what I’m talking about.

2) I installed a plugin to try to make mobile viewing easier and faster for those of you who access the page on your PDA or cell, as requested. Please let me know if you like this or if you want it back to normal.

3) Some of you love the Leo posts, some of you not so much. I can appreciate both points of view, and I’ll try to keep the Leo posts to a minimum, but he’s my dog and I love him and I’m gonna post about him every now and then because he is so fucking badass.

4) I am not voting Republican. I don’t know where you guys got that idea.

5) To the girl who mentioned that my speaking voice is disappointing because it’s not “edgy” enough, um, I’m working on that with my Marlboro Lights every day. It’s gonna take a little longer than it takes to install a plugin, though.

See?

I listen, like a good girl.

If you haven’t taken the survey, please do so here.

May 6, 2008 at 7:50 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized