Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Links Links Links

Avril and Hilary Duff are feuding? Who knew? They’re like the mini versions of Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff. Except, you know, way more famous. [Celebslam]

More Free Paris tees. Don’t let me catch you wearing these, people. [popbytes]

Prison Break‘s Lane Garrison pleads guilty to vehicular manslaughter. [A Socialite's Life]

Pete Doherty played in a celebrity soccer tournament. Drunk. [Agent Bedhead]

Lindsay Lohan’s a rock star in the bedroom. Just not, you know, in real life. [POTP]

Angelina and Brad hit up Cannes. [Cele|bitchy]

I swear Victoria Beckham is wearing see-through shirts on purpose. [Jordan]

Eva Longoria and her bikini play some volleyball. [Drunken Stepfather]

David Hasselhoff gets to keep his kids. [DListed]

Michael Jackson is a Caca-face Pedophile

michael_jackson_is_insane.JPG

The kids over at Radar got their hands on some of the Michael Jackson “memorabilia” that will be auctioned off by a New Jersey man on May 30-31 at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. Among the trinkets? A copy of the Jackson House Rules for members of the Rubberhead Club, a group made up primarily of young boys who visited Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Authored by Michael.

My friends and I had a club like this when I was a kid, too. The key difference is that none of us was 48 years old. And we were a little more flexible about the drug use.

Britney Spears is Every Bit as Sober as Lindsay Lohan

brit_bikini_yay.JPG

According to the Miami Herald, Britney Spears wasn’t exactly hitting up an AA meeting after her show at Mansion in Miami on Sunday.

After her show, Britney partied at Mansion for a little while, and then she and her crew moved on to SET. According to the Herald, “Spears moved into the VIP room and settled down with several bottles of Grey Goose and champagne. Spears was doing shots. ‘Lots of them,’ says our source. Purple Hooter Shots, in fact—part vodka, Chambord and 7-Up.” Ha! I love Purple Hooters! The only thing better is Red-Headed Sluts. At least Brit has good taste in shots.

Other witnesses say Spears visited the bathroom “like 80 times,” and “was dancing around like a crazy lady. She is definitely back in the scene.”

Brit was not just rekindling her passion for drinking; she was also remembering how much she likes other chicks when she’s drunk. According to Perez Hilton, Spears “put in a ‘special request’ for one of the promoters to introduce her to a buxom brunette female she saw below in the crowd through the glass. The busty brunette … was prepared to go upstairs and meet Brit but we’re told she wanted to bring an entourage, which gave everyone cold feet so it didn’t happen – she didn’t want to go up alone.”