Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables

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“There was no creative process at all. It was a very packaged thing, and people were wanting to capitalize on ‘The Sopranos.’ I take responsibility – I was part of it – but I hated every moment of it. I was faking it the whole time.”

Jamie-Lynn Sigler, on the crappiness of her 2001 album, Here to Heaven.

Paris Hires a New Lawyer

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In a last-ditch attempt to keep her ass out of jail, Paris Hilton may be bringing yet another lawyer onto her team, celeb DUI lawyer Richard Hutton. Paris met with him yesterday, and was caught on video sobbing in a car as her mother tried to console her. This video is so, so staged. She’s an awful actress. This car has tinted windows. Why were they rolled all the way down? So that the paparazzi could get this video and everyone can see just how hard this is for Paris. Yeah, right.

Paris is so damn concerned about this DUI arrest that she is driving a car again. Please remember, people, her license is still suspended, and driving on a suspended license is why she’s sentenced to jail. And yet, inexplicably, she decided to take her Bentley out for a little spin yesterday. Argh. Whatever happened to public stonings? They fell out of fashion in the U.S. for some reason, and I think now is an appropriate time to bring them back. Who’s with me?

At What Point Does This Warrant Capital Punishment?

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Paris. Hilton. Is Fucking. Goddamn. Driving.

The soon-to-be jail bird was snapped driving her £100,000 blue Bentley convertible less than a week after being handed a 45 day jail term.

The 26-year-old was given the sentence for breaking the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Despite having her licence suspended, Paris was followed by photographers as she lost her way in LA, finishing up in a dead-end even after reading print-out directions.

Photographers also reported she pulled three u-turns in a search for her final destination.

Oh my God. My head hurts. I can’t talk about this right now.

Badass

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Samuel L. Jackson can look cool doing anything.

Chilling on Melrose yesterday.

And I’d just like to take a minute to apologize to all of you who don’t live in Los Angeles right now, because it has been 80 degrees and sunny for the past, like, four days straight, and it reminds me why I pay what I do in rent to live here. Plus everyone looks sexier when it’s a beautiful day, and Mr. Jackson is no exception.

Photo courtesy of our friends over at Buzz Foto.