Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lohan Also Tries Acting Occasionally

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This movie Georgia Rule comes out Friday and it’s very odd. It will make around $40 at the box office because the masses are still lining up to see Spidey but I thought I’d mention it anyway (as sort of a community service).

It’s sort of about molestation. Yet it tries to be funny most of the time. Exactly.

It is from the guy who directed Pretty Woman, where it was completely glossed over that Julia Roberts sold her body for money, so I guess I get the ambition. They thought they could get away with this strangeness.

But they didn’t. Lohan is sometimes good, sometimes bad, and her stardom is still way more based on her lady business than it his her skills.

Wonder how long that can last?

Oh, one more thing, despite how the picture looks Jane Fonda’s floating head isn’t a focal point of the film.

CATHOUSE IS BACK!!!!

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OMG you guys I am sooooo excited. I was talking to my boss last night, and somehow the topic of Cathouse came up (no, I have no idea how that happened. I’m still trying to figure it out). Anyway, he was like, “You know, a new season’s starting soon,” and I was like “Do not fuck with me about Cathouse,” and he was like, “No, I’m not kidding, it starts again on Saturday.” So I just now crossed my fingers, said a little prayer, and went to the website. And, sure enough, new episodes start on May 12!!

AIRFORCE AMY!

SUNSET THOMAS!

ISABELLA SOPRANO!

WELCOME BACK INTO MY LIFE!!! I was so sad without you guys.

The episodes will air monthly, and there’s only six of them, but just in case you don’t have HBO, guess who’ll be recapping them? Yes, that’s right. What? You thought I’d pass up the opportunity to recap porn? Fuck no.

Bring it.

AmIdol Recap: Top 4

Jesus, how many more of these are left? Three hours sleep last night — the insomnia is back — but I’m feeling pretty good and rearin’ to go.

Ryan starts out by saying that there are “three girls, and only one guy.” The camera pans across their faces — Jordin grins, Melinda fake-grins, LaKisha fake-grins, and Blake looks like you just told him you’d actually love it if he’d put it in your ass, and please don’t use a condom, because it won’t feel as good and it’s not like you can get pregnant that way.

This is American Idol!

Oh man. Everyone’s singing twice tonight. All the music comes from Barry Gibb, who I guess started as a member of the BeeGees, which makes sense because his initials are B.G. Huh. I feel like I learned something today. So basically, kids, prepare yourself for an evening of the songs your parents listen to. Or, for some of you, your grandparents, because your parents are, like, my age. Because I’m old. But let’s not dwell on that.

Ryan’s all like, “We are so going to run over time tonight. And that’s awesome because it’s my responsibility to keep us running on time, and I’m the one who takes shit in notes because Randy has to name-drop and Paula has to slur and then Simon has to berate everybody and every week, somehow, this is my fault. And yet, strangely, I still don’t have a producer credit on this show. Can someone explain that? Seriously. Jesus.”

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Links Links Links

Brittany Murphy and Neve Campbell both tied the knot this weekend. No, not to each other, although that would be way hot. [Gabby Babble]

Tom Sizemore hits up the meth again. [Warship]

The Lindsay Lohan side boob. [Derek Hail]

Angelina’s discovering that Brad may be more devoted to his smoking habit than he is to their family. [Cele|bitchy]

Victoria Beckham begins walking the long road back to recovery from her eating disorder, and the British tabs are there to make a headline out of every single pound gained. Awesome. [popbytes]

There’s a little bit of sibling rivalry between Ashlee and Jessica Simpson. Ooh, I hope they have a MySpace battle! [A Socialite's Life]

TrentWatch continues over on The Gilded Moose. [TGM]

We forget that Sinead O’Connor was the original Britney. [IBBB]

Star Jones gives a lap dance to hubby Al Reynolds in public. [Yeeeah!]

Is Phil Stacey Going to Iraq?

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Phil Stacey might be missing the Top 10 Idols Tour to go to Iraq. The 29 year-old new father said that he does have a commitment to the military and even though they have been flexible with his Idol schedule he always could be called up to duty according to his AOL TV Tattler exit interview.

My primary responsibility is to the United States Navy. The possibility exists that they’ll need me for a mission, and if that’s the case, I’m committed to following it through. So far, they’ve been 100 percent flexible and a huge support base for me.

Phil obviously would be quite disappointed, as would his Idol fans that kept him in this long if he got called up.

The last that I spoke to my commanding officer, things looked very promising that I’d be able to go on the tour. I’m not really worried about it at this point. But it would break my heart to not be able to go. But I’ve got a duty and what’s important is that I fulfill my responsibility to the Navy.

I do hope he gets to do the tour. It would be a bit of a buzz-kill if you had to go from being a huge star to a war zone. He also just had a little baby and it would be sad if he couldn’t just enjoy his brief shot at fame with his family.