Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Is Gwyneth Paltrow Headed for Divorce?

Is Gwyneth Paltrow Getting a Divorce from Chris Martin?

And, perhaps more pressingly, does anyone care if she is?

Paltrow, that chick who used to be in movies that didn’t suck, is married to Chris Martin, that dude from that band you used to listen to. The couple haven’t been seen together in months, although Gwyneth recently told a fan that “just because he’s not here doesn’t mean we’re divorcing.”

But sources close to Paltrow say she rarely talks about her husband, and, when she does, she is “vague and unenthusiastic.” The couple have two children together, Apple and Moses.

More Britney Tracks

Britney Spears New Tracks: Everybody, Been a While, What You Sippin’ On, Got Me High

Blah blah blah Britney blah blah blah new tracks leaked blah blah blah blah comeback blah blah vagina.

Rumor has it that her label’s “leaking” these tracks to build buzz, but that none of them will actually be on her new album.

SNORE!

“Everybody”

“Been a While”

“Got Me High”

“What You Sippin’ On”

Idol is Everywhere!

Australian Idol Top 12 Contestants

Meet the Top 12 contestants for the current season of Australian Idol.

Meanwhile, here in the States, the American Idol tour bombed, with the Idols performing to half-empty houses most nights. Auditions for the upcoming season have wrapped up here in the States. Is everybody ready for another go-round?

Brad Pitt Is Sad Because He’s Old

brad_details.jpg

And I’m sad, too!

If Brad Pitt can get old, anyone can get old.

Pitt, 43, spoke recently to Details magazine about being over the hill. (And they airbrushed the hell out of him on the cover. They may as well have just photographed the figure of him at Madame Tussaud’s.)

“One thing sucks,” he says. “Your face kind of goes. Your body’s not quite working the same.”

And it wouldn’t be an interview these days without a discussion of The World’s Most Important Person. “This Paris Hilton quest for fame … she’s blissfully oblivious,” he laughs, recalling how he and Jolie had been traveling for a month and turned on the TV. “And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.”

You know, Brad, when your lovely life partner was Paris Hilton’s age, she was wearing Billy Bob Thornton’s blood in a vial around her neck and talking to red carpet reporters about how they’d just fucked in the limo. That was years before she was the humanitarian husband-stealer she’s become today. I’m just saying. For all you know, in a few years, Paris Hilton will be married to a Nobel Prize winner and distributing AIDS medications in the Congo as a Goodwill Ambassador. You know? I’m just saying. And I can’t believe I’m standing up for Paris Hilton here, but Jesus Christ, Brad, your perfect fucking girlfriend used to be a perfect fucking headcase.

Links Links Links

When life gives him lemons, Danny DeVito makes limoncello. [Celebslam]

R. Kelly’s got himself another few weeks to urinate on minors. [Bossip]

Kelly Clarkson’s going back on tour. [POTP]

BREAKING: Everyone in Hollywood has an eating disorder. [popbytes]

Whoopi Goldberg thinks dog fighting is okay if you came from the Deep South. Incidentally, Whoopi, such a background is also an acceptable excuse for demanding the legalization of slavery and the revocation of women’s right to vote. Oh, wait, except it’s not. Welcome to The View, sweetheart. [Cele|bitchy]

Anne Hathaway gets freaky with her boyfriend. [Gabby Babble]

The mystery of Justin Bobby, solved. But still: homeboy wore combat boots to the beach. Do you really want to call that your boyfriend? [IBBB]

Sarah Michelle Gellar’s body is almost shrinking faster than her career. [Daily Stab]

Uh, Tyra? Is this fierce? Really? [Holy Candy]