Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Michael Jackson is a Caca-face Pedophile

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The kids over at Radar got their hands on some of the Michael Jackson “memorabilia” that will be auctioned off by a New Jersey man on May 30-31 at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. Among the trinkets? A copy of the Jackson House Rules for members of the Rubberhead Club, a group made up primarily of young boys who visited Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Authored by Michael.

My friends and I had a club like this when I was a kid, too. The key difference is that none of us was 48 years old. And we were a little more flexible about the drug use.

Britney Spears is Every Bit as Sober as Lindsay Lohan

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According to the Miami Herald, Britney Spears wasn’t exactly hitting up an AA meeting after her show at Mansion in Miami on Sunday.

After her show, Britney partied at Mansion for a little while, and then she and her crew moved on to SET. According to the Herald, “Spears moved into the VIP room and settled down with several bottles of Grey Goose and champagne. Spears was doing shots. ‘Lots of them,’ says our source. Purple Hooter Shots, in fact—part vodka, Chambord and 7-Up.” Ha! I love Purple Hooters! The only thing better is Red-Headed Sluts. At least Brit has good taste in shots.

Other witnesses say Spears visited the bathroom “like 80 times,” and “was dancing around like a crazy lady. She is definitely back in the scene.”

Brit was not just rekindling her passion for drinking; she was also remembering how much she likes other chicks when she’s drunk. According to Perez Hilton, Spears “put in a ‘special request’ for one of the promoters to introduce her to a buxom brunette female she saw below in the crowd through the glass. The busty brunette … was prepared to go upstairs and meet Brit but we’re told she wanted to bring an entourage, which gave everyone cold feet so it didn’t happen – she didn’t want to go up alone.”

Ha, Perez Totally Stole His Damn Logo

Perez Hilton Logo Stolen

Jesus Christ, Perez. Is anything on that site owned by you?

TMZ has obtained a copy of a letter sent to Perez (real name Mario Lavandeira) from Creative Age Publications, demanding the logo be removed. In the letter, Creative Age alleges that the picture Perez uses as his logo is theirs, and that it appeared in a feature in the September 2004 issue of Nailpro — a magazine geared toward salon owners, managers and nail technicians.

Deborah Carver, publisher of Nailpro, says, “I’m a Perez fan, but he can’t use our award-winning photos. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. These are proprietary works that take an entire team of people to put together.”

The letter, which is dated today, reads, “Please be advised that our client is entitled to seek statuatory damages for willful copyright infringement up to $150,000 per work infringed.”

Scott Stapp Loves Jesus, Drinking and Beating Up His Wife. Not So Much an Orangina Fan, Though.

Scott Stapp Beats His Wife

Creed frontman Scott Stapp was arrested this weekend on charges of domestic battery, after getting into an altercation with his wife, former beauty queen Jaclyn Nesheiwat and throwing an Orangina bottle at her face. Neither Jaclyn nor Scott was injured. From TMZ:

According to the police report, Stapp’s wife, Miss New York USA 2004, Jaclyn Nesheiwat Stapp, claims that she called 911 after Scott stumbled into their $5 million mansion around 8:00 AM and got “very angry” when she asked if he was “using drugs.” Jaclyn told police that Stapp began yelling at her to “leave him alone,” before he grabbed an Orangina bottle and launched it at her face, nearly hitting her.

When cops arrived, they found the shattered bottle … and several handguns locked in a safe. According to the report, “Scott was very cooperative” about handing over the firearms, which were immediately confiscated. One of the responding officers claims that Stapp did admit to throwing the bottle, but the former Creed frontman also said, “Jaclyn was no where in the area.”

This isn’t Stapp’s first run-in with the law. The Christian rocker was arrested at LAX in 2006 for public intoxication while waiting to board a flight — to his honeymoon. He also ran into some trouble when he and Kid Rock made a sex tape with some groupies on a tour bus, and a video company threatened to distribute it.

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Yet another Anne Heche relationship culminates in a general agreement that she is totally insane. How does this woman keep finding people who will date her? Is it any surprise that her most recent ex-husband’s last name rhymes with “buffoon?” [Cele|bitchy]

Meanwhile, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are turning former enemies into friends. [Celebslam]

Amy Winehouse remembers that the easiest cure for alcoholism is marriage. She tied the knot this week. [popbytes]

Lindsay’s mom wishes she “was ten years younger” so she could date her daughter’s most recent sex toy, Callum Best. Oh, Dina. If you were ten years younger, you’d still need to be ten years younger to have a shot at him. But that’s okay. I’ll pretend you’re thirty if you’ll pretend your daughter has a drug problem. [The Bosh]

Keira Knightley does Vogue. But not, apparently, the Pirates 3 premiere in L.A. [GTS]

Jessica Simpson is totally happy without John Mayer. [Warship]

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills manage not to kill each other in the presence of their daughter. [Gabby Babble]

Farrah Fawcett is suing the National Enquirer for running a story about her cancer before she’d had the chance to inform her family. [Celebrity Smack]