Today's Evil Beet Gossip

PerezWatch: Now Mario’s the One Doing the Suing

Oh. Fuck. Yes. Now this makes sense.

Finally, a lawsuit in which Perez Hilton is not being accused of copyright violations. In fact, the gossip blogger (real name: Mario Lavandeira) is the one suing this time, claiming that a rogue Los Angeles photo agency is unfairly competing against his blog by, among other things, employing a platoon of illegal aliens who physically threaten the paparazzi competition. Filed yesterday, Lavandeira’s Los Angeles Superior Court complaint … alleges that the X17 agency’s owners engage in “illegal and unethical business practices” and that they exploit the company’s photographers, many of whom are “from Brazil or other countries” and are “believed to be illegal aliens.” He also charges that the agency may “employ photographers with criminal backgrounds and/or gang affiliations.” While Lavandeira does not identify any paparazzi by name, X17 photographer Ramon “Twist” Kirk is a convicted sex offender. As first revealed by reporter Eric Longabardi, Kirk spent 16 months in a California prison for the felony sex crime, which involved a teenage girl. Lavandeira contends that X17 has launched a “copycat blog” and, to secure a competitive advantage, the agency exploits its labor pool “through unlawful business practices.

Not only is Perez suing X17 as a corporation, he’s also suing its owners, Francois and Brandy Navarre, as individuals.

You can read the full complaint here.

We’ll be talking about this more later, I promise.

Who’d’ve guessed that on Paris Hilton Jail Release day, my favorite story would be about an entirely different Hilton?

(Thanks Chris!)

Paris Left Jail Wearing Her Blue-Tinted Contacts

Paris Hilton Leaves Lynwood Jail in SUV Pictures Photos

No matter how much her jail stay changed Paris, it officially had no impact on her eye color. BuzzFoto just released this pic of Paris leaving jail, which I think is probably the best I’ve seen so far, and I realized while looking at the high-def version that she’s wearing her blue contacts. I think she might also be wearing false eyelashes, but I’m not sure about that. I’ve included the high-def version of her eyes here so you guys can weigh in.

Paris Hilton Leaving Jail Blue-Tinted Contacts Pictures Photos

PerezWatch: Gunning for X17

Perez Hilton Looking for X17 Photographers Who Haven’t Received Adequate Compensation

Just posted on Perez:

Notice To All Current And Former Photographers Of X17

Does X17 owe you money?

If you feel that you have not been adequately compensated by X17 for your time (including overtime) or your photographs, please contact us at immediately.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Ohhhhhhhh shit.

This no longer has anything to do with first amendment rights or satire or copyright infringement. This shit is personal, and it has been for a while now.

But it is sooooo much fun!!!!

American Idol Revs Up Cash Machine Again

American Idol Auditions

I’m guessing the Beet is still suffering from her Paris blogging binge last night so here’s some early morning news for ya: American Idol has thrown up the audition dates and locations, here they are:

• San Diego: July 30 – Qualcomm Stadium
• Dallas: Aug. 6 – Texas Stadium
• Omaha: Aug. 10 – Qwest Center
• Atlanta: Aug. 14 TBD
• Charleston, SC: Aug. 18 – N. Charleston Coliseum
• Miami: Aug. 22 – AmericanAirlines Arena
• Philadelphia: Aug. 27 – Wachovia Center

They aren’t headed back to Seattle where both finalists from last year auditioned? What about L.A., home of broken dreams? It looks like a very rural focus this year, we might be looking at another Pickler / Underwood country edition for Idol.

Thankfully the actual show doesn’t start until January. Unless you’re planning on trying out. Then you better head off to the line now.

I Don’t Have a Boyfriend (aka Liveblogging the Paris Hilton Jail Release)

Paris Hilton Walks Out of Jail, Leaves Lynwood Jail Wednesday Night

To their credit, most of the traditional news stations don’t appear to be covering this event, at least not yet. CNN and MSNBC came up empty. But, never fear, Fox News is on the case. It’s all Lynwood, all the time over there.

Of course, the paparazzi are camped out. They’ve been there since last night, lest Paris be released early.

The Hilton family arrived around midnight PST. Word is Paris will be walking out alone. We’re just waiting now…

And here she comes. It’s an interesting scene; she’s flanked by guards and policeman, but they stay ten feet behind her or so. Out in front, it’s just Paris, her hands folded in front of her body, walking the Lynwood runway.

She’s gained weight. Ten, maybe even fifteen pounds. So much for all that stuff about how she couldn’t eat.

She looks happy. Like, genuinely happy. She looks healthy. Her hair’s braided and falling over her shoulder. She smiles and waves to the cameras. She’s not talking to anyone. She spots her mom in the black Escalade and starts running. She hugs her mom through the window. Cameras descend on the car, but Paris manages to climb in. I have no idea how this car is going to move. Guards are basically walking the SUV down the road. Paris is hugging her mom in the backseat.

Ha! Paris is now on probation until March 2009. So if she so much as jaywalks, she’s going back to jail.

No one’s sure where the SUV’s headed, but I suppose we’ll find out soon enough, as there are quite a few news copters to follow it.

Update (12:34 am): Breaking! Paris’ SUV just got off the 110 North and onto the 10 West. This is very exciting. So she could really be headed anywhere west of the 110. Really. To any of her family’s eight homes west of the 110. This would have been way more interesting as if she were headed somewhere east of the 110.

Update (12:42 am): The news stations are reporting she actually lost weight in prison. It really looked to me like she gained weight. The video’s available now. Decide for yourself.

Update (12:45 am): They’re getting off the 10 at what the news stations are calling PCH. I don’t think this is PCH. I don’t think she drove west of the 405. But who knows. Mr. Hilton did a kick-ass little maneuver where he moved toward the exit at the very last second, evading most of the paparazzi SUVs tailing him and nearly causing a wreck at the off-ramp. They’re stopped at a light, so everyone’s getting out of their cars to get shots.

Update (12:55 am): Yeah, she didn’t get off on PCH. She’s definitely east of the 405. It looks like they’re headed toward the Hilton grandparent’s home in Beverly Hills. Oh, shit, they’re going to the Beverly Hilton. Ha! Now they’re driving out of the Beverly Hilton. This is too funny. They’re just fucking with the paparazzi now. And advertising Hilton hotels.

Update (1 am): It seems like the final destination is the grandparents’ home. It’s much more private than Paris’ Hollywood Hills home. The SUV pulls up to the compound in Benedict Canyon and through the gates.

I think I’ll go to bed now.

Links Links Links

Okay, so I have this obsession with the Avril Lavigne song “Girlfriend” that I’m often loathe to discuss. But, you know what? That song pretty much rocks. And what rocks even harder is this remix of it, featuring Lil’ Mama. [popbytes]

Jack Black’s son has the hugest head ever. [Socialite's Life]

Sigh. Britney Spears filed a restraining order against her mother. I’d care, but Paris Hilton gets out of jail in like an hour. [Derek Hail]

Justin Timberlake Being an Asshole: Part 174. [Girls Talkin' Smack]

I love that Agent Bedhead just admitted on the Internet that she had a sex dream about Eli Roth. It makes me feel a lot better about that dream I had the other night that I went to jail and Paris Hilton was my cellmate and we were staring at each other naked and comparing our bodies. Anyway. [Agent Bedhead]

Historically, I’ve tended to fiercely disagree with Germany’s decisions about what type of people can and can not live there in peace. However, I fully support the recent decision to ban Tom Cruise. [Celebslam]

Eva Longoria wedding pictures … people still care … not sure why … wasn’t she on a TV show once? [Cele|bitchy]