Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Tina Fey Says Alec Baldwin Will Be Back on 30 Rock

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After StupidThoughtlessLittlePigGate and splitting from his agency (and then crawling back), Alec Baldwin stated on The View that he would not be returning to his hit show (and the thing keeping Aaron Sorkin up at night since he quit smoking crack), 30 Rock. “If I never acted again, I couldn’t care less,” he said.

Baldwin’s 30 Rock contract pretty much assured he’d be coming back, but Tina Fey said in a recent interview that if he comes back, it will be because he wants to.

“I was on vacation so I didn’t actually see him on ‘The View,’” Fey said. “It was my one week of vacation this year, and that went down. I figured, I’m going to let all the talking happen and see what the actual action is, and the action is, he’s going to be at work. No one’s going to make him do it under duress.”

When asked about Baldwin’s famous temper, Fey responded that “thankfully, my relationship with him is solely professional and I have not had to deal with that at all.”

Toally Sober

JesseSober

Look at me! Drinking RedBull! I’m not having booze! Remember me everybody I’m so cool, I went to rehab.

I’m so bored of Jesse. He really only held my attention when his shirt was off.

Sobriety is so the new black.

Links Links Links

Breaking: Kim Kardashian has a huge butt. [Ninja Dude]

Akon is back to his old on-stage brutality tricks. [Holy Moly]

It’s Brooke Burke’s turn to put on a bikini and splash around for photogs. [Celebslam]

Jessica Simpson just doesn’t even care anymore. [Cele|bitchy]

If there is a stripper pole within fifty feet of Adrianne Curry, you best believe she’s getting on that thing. [Celebrity Smack]

Some soap star named Shemar scores a DUI. [Holy Candy]

Do all live music performances just suck these days? [Pajiba]

Now you can watch Dina Lohan systematically destroy the lives of her two other children from the safety and comfort of your very own living room! [Celeb Warship]

Nicole Richie finally takes a hike … oh, and she might also be pregnant (except she’s totally not). [The Bosh]

Beyonce’s drunk again. [POTP]

You know who didn’t offer Heidi Montag a million bucks to pose naked for them? Playboy, that’s who. We already get to see her stripped of decency and self-respect every week on The Hills. [F&C]

Katee Holmes topless. (No, that’s not a typo — this one’s the awesome 18-year-old who’s threatening to lose her virginity on-camera.) [Jordan]

Happy Birthday to Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie Marie Claire Interview

The Super-Mom turns 31 32 today! [Thanks to all the commenters who pointed this out, and no thanks at all to Wikipedia for lying to me.]

To celebrate, she’s talking to Marie Claire about how hard it is to find time to have sex with Brad Pitt while they’re raising four children together.

“Mommy and Daddy need to try to figure out more time right now.” Juggling her clan is not easy, she confides to the magazine. “Everybody needs individual time. Shiloh has our attention when the others are at school. Mad [her son Maddox] stays up the latest, so he gets the nighttime. During the day, I’ll go for a walk or do something specific with Pax or Z [Zahara] . . . We’re working on it; we’re working on it. Right now, we’re not great about Mommy-and-Daddy time.”

Happy birthday, Angie!