Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The VMAs Are Here

The MTV Video Music Awards are fast approaching, and the nominees have been released.

The best group category proves once again how tragically out-of-touch with the under-24 culture I am becoming. I guess I recognize most of these names, but, with the exception of Fall Out Boy, I can’t name a single one of their songs. I just want to curl up in my room and listen to August and Everything After. Is that so wrong? Is it? Anyway, the nominees are:

Fall Out Boy
Gym Class Heroes
Linkin Park
Maroon 5
The White Stripes

The best new artist category confuses me, because most of these people aren’t new artists. I mean, Carrie Underwood won American Idol in 1994, right? Amy Winehouse had an album go platinum in the U.K. in 2003. How exactly are we defining “new” in this context? And can someone please tell me what song Gym Class Heroes and Peter Bjorn & John gets played on the radio? I even Googled them and I couldn’t figure it out.

Lily Allen
Gym Class Heroes
Peter Bjorn & John
Carrie Underwood
Amy Winehouse

The best female artist nominees don’t matter, because Rihanna’s going to win and Beyonce’s going to be sooo pissed about it.

Beyonce
Fergie
Nelly Furtado
Rihanna
Amy Winehouse

And I don’t know any of the songs by anyone in the best male artist category, either, except for JT. Oh, Akon does “Smack That,” which, if I recall correctly, was already awarded Song of the Year by Ms. magazine, so I don’t know that it really needs this accolade as well. Let someone else have a chance. The noms:

Akon
Robin Thicke
T.I.
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West

The VMAs will air on September 9th on MTV.

Gwen Stefani is Still Breast-feeding

Gwen Stefani Still Breast-Feeding Her Son Kingston

In a recent interview, the singer/designer admitted that she still breastfeeds her son, Kingston, who was born in May 2006. “I don’t know when I’m going to stop breast-feeding,” she says. “I’ll just keep going while I can – like, he’s getting his teeth, so it is a little bit scary. He’s bitten me a few times.”

I don’t know anything about raising kids, but aren’t you supposed to stop breast-feeding after a year or so? Especially when the kid’s biting your tits? I wonder how Gavin feels about all this. It’s supposed to be his job to bite her nipples.

Moral Obligations…

As we just ran a Backstreet Boys post I’m morally obligated to throw in a video of a song I heard (and liked) yesterday. I think this fellow, Jaime T, is big among our European audiences but us Yanks haven’t discovered him yet… unless I’m more out of touch than I thought.

Anywhoo, here’s Jaime T with “Stella”

Backstreet’s Back, Alright!

Backstreet Boys New Single, Inconsolable

Because all of their solo careers have gone so very well, the Backstreet Boys have teamed up to release yet another single, called “Inconsolable.” Missing from the new four-member crew is Kevin Richardson, who left the band back in 2006, saying that the departure was “necessary in order to move on with the next chapter of my life.” He and his wife had a baby boy named Mason in July. Did somebody say Yoko Ono?

You can listen to a sample of the new song, which debuted on New York’s Z100 today, here. The single will hit the rest of the airwaves on August 27, and the album is set for release on October 31.

American Idol Auditions Are Back

It seems like just yesterday that we crowned … someone? … the new American Idol winner. (In my defense, it’s 1:30 am, but I honestly had to Google it to remember that it was Jordan Sparks … and I was live-blogging every episode. Each season of that show just blurs with the last.) But it’s time to start up the insanity again, and it’s kicking off this year in Dallas, Texas. It’s the standard story: lines stretched forever, it was way fucking hot, contestants only get 15 seconds to sing, Ryan Seacrest is getting head from androgynous characters in a bathroom stall between takes, etc. Maybe this is why nothing exceptional ever happens to me, but I just don’t understand why anyone would want to do that, even if they are a good singer. Like, there’s a tiny voice in my head that would say, like, “Hey, Beet, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to become a superstar! Sure, the odds are slim, but you’ve gotta go for it! You’ll only achieve success if you pursue your dreams at all costs!” And then a huge, bellowing voice in my head responds, “It’s hot,” and then I’d stay in and watch Gilmore Girls reruns instead and hope someone discovers me in a mall.

In coming weeks, auditions will be held in Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston, Miami and Philadelphia. Can we please talk about these Omaha auditions? If Adam Duritz hadn’t thought to write a whole song about it, I’d never have known Omaha existed. (I just have to note here that my friend Palimo — a musical prodigy — once devoted his considerable talent to making up new words to “Omaha,” and it started like this: “Boned your ma, somewhere in a Little America,” and then it went on but I forget how but Palimo, if you ever read this blog, kindly leave them in the comments). Anyway, Omaha’s in the middle of fucking nowhere, a few hours out of Des Moines and about a day’s drive from Chicago, but I truly cannot wait to see the midwestern farm stories they manage to pull out of the Omaha auditions.

Putting on a Brave Face

Lauren Conrad from The Hills on TRL, Pictures and Photos

So we’re not going to reprint any of the things that Spencer Pratt has said about Lauren Conrad recently. Not because we have standards or anything, but because I like LC and I hate Spencer and I just don’t want his nonsense on my blog. But, if you must know, you can read his recent (scathing) blog post here or listen to him and Heidi spew their anti-Lauren venom on the radio here. (By the way, all the talk of a wedding — it’s so not happening. This engagement is such a fraud. Note how whenever a question comes up about the “wedding” they give different answers. They haven’t talked about it because they know it’s not happening.) But Lauren is awesome, and she’s totally right when she says that Heidi and Spencer are famous because she made them famous, and they continue to become more famous now by bashing her. She and Audrina showed up on TRL on Monday, all smiles and looking fantastic, to promote the upcoming season of The Hills (where they have to be loving all the publicity Spencer’s been scaring up).

Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad from The Hills on TRL, Pictures and Photos Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad from The Hills on TRL, Pictures and Photos