Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Aaron Sorkin’s Coming Back to the Big Screen

Aaron Sorkin to Write Screenplay for Film About the Chicago 7

If you wake up in cold sweats every now and then because you had this horrible nightmare that they canceled Studio 60 and then have to face the staggering reality that they actually did, there’s light at the end of this dark, Jordan McDeere-less tunnel.

Aaron Sorkin has been tapped to write a screenplay for DreamWorks about the trial of the 1968 anti-war activists known as the Chicago Seven.

The film is part of a three-picture deal Sorkin just signed with DreamWorks … and is being developed as a potential directorial project for Oscar winner Steven Spielberg, the studio said on Thursday.

DreamWorks said the two other Sorkin projects would be announced later.

“The Trial of the Chicago 7″ will focus on the high-profile conspiracy trials of anti-war protesters including Abbie Hoffman, Tom Hayden, Bobby Seale and David Dellinger, who were accused of inciting riots outside the 1968 Democratic National Convention.

Sorkin also wrote the screenplay for the political drama Charlie Wilson’s War, which will come out in December and stars Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts.

Everything is going to be okay, kids.

Did Paris Hilton Get to Use a Cell Phone in Jail?

Paris Hilton Had a Cell Phone in Jail

It appears as though all Paris Hilton’s claims that she was treated “just like any other inmate — no better, no worse” may hold about as much truth as her statement that she’d never done drugs.

The Sheriff’s Department yesterday opened up an investigation into allegations that Paris received all sorts of special treatment in the slammer.

The internal probe will examine whether the hotel heiress was given free access to a cordless phone instead of being forced to wait in line to use a pay phone at certain hours, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

Also under scrutiny are claims Hilton received a new jail uniform instead of the recycled ones given to many inmates and that her mail was delivered by a captain instead of inmate trusties, Whitmore said.

Okay, the last one I guess I can understand. I can imagine there was a lot of interest in Paris Hilton’s jail mail, and it’s understandable that they wouldn’t want to risk one of the other inmates stealing a piece or two to sell to TMZ.

The other two are just bullshit. She couldn’t use a regular jail uniform? What the fuck, did she need the Orange Jumpsuit by Tom Ford for Gucci? Was she scared that there might be poor-people germs on the recycled uniforms? And if this bitch got to use a cell phone in jail …

Grrrrrrrrr …

Who Are You and What Have You Done with Anna Faris?

Anna Faris Totally Had Plastic Surgery on Her Face, Comparison Photos

Anna Faris Totally Had Plastic Surgery on Her Face, Comparison Pictures

Miss Anna Faris, one of my favorite little-seen starlets, showed up at the premiere of We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry looking like, well, not like Anna Faris. Ms. Faris filed for divorce in early April, but it appears the new face predates that. Looking through the WireImage archives, it would seem the new face debuted at Sundance in January — the last photo of the old face is from November 2006. I can’t even quite pinpoint what she had done, but she looks like a totally different person, and it kinda bums me out, because she had such an adorable, unique look before. Now she just kind of looks like a standard-issue starlet. Boring.

Update: Okay, based on comments from here and ONTD, here’s what I think changed:

1) Obviously, hair, make-up and darker eyebrows. Or maybe she’s just using a new hair dryer.
2) Bridge of the nose is smaller.
3) Chin’s been smoothed out a little.
4) Collagen injections in her lips.
5) Probably the ears, although I’m not 100% sure on that one.
6) Super-blue contacts, ala Paris Hilton. :(

Links Links Links

Um, top 10 celebrity boobs, brought to you by a couple of gay dudes. And, predictably, they are perfect. [LA Rag Mag]

Kevin Federline’s dating a DJ, so I guess he found someone whose voice is heard on the radio more often than Britney’s these days. [Allie]

Hey! Guess what? Kim Kardashian’s ass? Still huge. [Holy Candy]

A photog gets his ass kicked outside the ESPY awards. That’s what you get for fucking with Rumer Willis, people. [Celebrity Smack]

Sobriety is certainly not going stop Courtney Love from trashing a hotel room. Just like it hasn’t stopped Britney Spears from drinking alcohol. [SOW]

It’s that time of month again, kids: rumors of Paula Abdul getting the boot at AI have hit the web. [Agent Bedhead]

Dude, if Miss New Jersey loses her crown over these retarded pictures, I will officially lose all respect for beauty pageants … oh, wait. [GTS]

Greatest. Ad Campaign. Ever. I’m thinking Hillary Clinton should hire these guys pronto. [Flisted]

Ivanka Trump’s all like, “I’m way too good for The View. I mean, do you people even know how smart I am?” [Cele|bitchy]

Um, Did Anyone Else Notice That TMZ Called Queen Latifah a Carpet-Muncher?

Queen Latifah is Totally a Lesbian

I just had to point this out to anyone who missed it, because I laughed for like an hour over this.

TMZ’s a division of AOL/Time Warner, which has, you know, assets and stuff, so they can’t exactly go around calling people big ole dykes, but they want you to know they know exactly what Queen Latifah’s doing with her free time.

Her heinieness was seen power-walking in faaaaaaaabulous West Hollywood yesterday, with her perky lil’ trainer/galpal.

Her majesty ate up the red carpet yesterday at the preem of “Hairspray” yesterday.

Genius!