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15An Important Message for Chloe Sevigny

Never, ever, ever stand next to Jessica Stam again.

Here’s Chloe at an event for Women’s Health in NYC. Chloe really needs to find out when there will be an event for Women’s Mental Health and show up there instead.

May 13, 2008 at 11:16 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

15Okay, I’m Officially Obsessed with Work Out

I’ve been watching the previews for this show forever, but I never actually considered watching it. But my (fabulous!) trainer always talks about it. Like, we do ten minutes of abs, ten minutes of upper body, ten minutes of lower body, and then ten minutes of Work Out recap. So I finally decided to tell my DVR to record it, and have been spending the evening getting all caught up. And it’s amazing. It’s like The Hills but with grown-ups with amazing bodies. So much drama! So many six-packs! And lesbians!

Plus, one of the trainers is my future husband. His name is Greg Plitt, and we are getting married in the spring. Or as soon as he becomes aware of my existence. Whichever comes first. Look at him:

OMG we are getting married STAT. Total, insane hotness. I’m in love. I’m happy whenever he’s on screen. I plan our wedding in my head. The color scheme will match his eyes, and instead of having a ring bearer he will just hold our rings in his abs. And instead of reading vows he’ll just flex. And I’ll have a gorgeous, long, V-neck Vera Wang gown, and he will not have a shirt on at all. And instead of driving off to our honeymoon he will just pick up the entire car, with me inside, and jog us to the airport.

I have got to get my body in shape for Greg. I’ve been being really, really good about my diet, but then tonight for some reason I totally broke down and ate half a pint of cookie dough ice cream with whip cream. And I mean whip cream. Like I just held the thing of whip cream in one hand, scooped out a spoonful of ice cream with the other hand, then drenched the spoon in a tower of whip cream and ate it. Lather, rinse, repeat. And then I felt disgusting and sad and considered throwing it all up, but then I remembered that I’m not 17 anymore, and, like, I really have enough adult issues in my life today that I don’t need to toss bulimia in the mix. So I’m sitting here, writing this, unhappily digesting my ice cream and whip cream and watching Work Out and being sad because I will never ever get a guy who looks like Greg because I will always have the body fat percentage of, like, a Beluga Whale. Sigh.

Anyway. It’s a good show.

May 13, 2008 at 11:10 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

5Yeah, I’m Just Gonna Go Ahead and Run All the Pics from the CW’s Upfronts

Why?

Because there is nothing else going on.

And because everyone at this event is way hot, and basically my entire hope for the future.

And because Leighton Meester has her hand in that stupid purse in like every shot, and it just baffles the mind.

All the pics are inside. We’ve got Gossip Girl folks (Blake!!!!), we’ve got ANTM folks (Jaslene!!!!) and we’ve got 90210v2.0 folks (???!!! … um … Lori Loughlin?).

(more…)

May 13, 2008 at 10:09 pm by Evil Beet
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20Everything is Totally Fine. Really.

Hi, Amy.

[Image via Splash]

May 13, 2008 at 9:53 pm by Evil Beet
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4Yes, Britney Spears Got Into Another Minor Accident

Everyone is fine. Except for me. I am devastated. Because this is such a boring story, just like all the stories so far this week are boring, boring, boring.

Jesus Christ, will Lindsay get another DUI or something? Seriously, I’d settle for a fucking Lohan DUI right now. Hell, I’d settle for some D-lister throwing a drink at Paris in a club. I don’t care. Someone fucking do something!

May 13, 2008 at 9:43 pm by Evil Beet
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35Michael Moore Begins Work on Fahrenheit 9/11 Follow-Up

Filmmaker Michael Moore, the mountain of a man behind the provocative 2004 documentary, has begun work on a follow-up film, due to be released in the spring of 2009. Moore made an intentional decision to release the film after the U.S. presidential election, as he claims that he doesn’t want it to be seen as a politically motivated film. Good luck with that, dude.

The film intends “to examine how America’s role in the world has changed over the last eight years,” says the COO of Overture Films, the documentary’s co-financer. Any further details are being kept under tight wraps.

May 13, 2008 at 4:49 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized