Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I ::Heart:: Rocky Delgadillo

The LA City Attorney released this statement today:

“Today I was extremely troubled to learn that the Sheriff’s Department has decided to release Ms. Hilton from custody just three days after she was admitted to county jail.

My office was not advised of this action. We learned of it this morning through news reports, just like everyone else. Had we been provided with the proper notification, we would have opposed the decision on legal grounds.

News reports indicate that the Sheriff’s Department released Ms. Hilton to house arrest due to a medical condition. This explanation is puzzling. Los Angeles county jail medical facilities are well-equipped to deal with medical situations involving inmates

I am also concerned that the judicial process may have been improperly circumvented in this case. Ms. Hilton was incarcerated as a condition of her probation. As a result, the judge retained jurisdiction over her case and only the judge has the power to modify these conditions of probation. If Ms. Hilton’s medical condition truly warranted a change in her circumstances, what should have happened is the following: Ms. Hilton’s legal counsel should have filed an emergency application with the court and provided my office with the opportunity to respond, and then the court could have held a hearing on the matter to consider whether there was sufficient justification to change the terms of his original order. I have directed my criminal branch to immediately explore all possible legal options to ensure that the law is being applied equally and justly in this case.

If law enforcement officials are to enjoy the respect of those we are charged with protecting, we cannot tolerate a two-tiered jail system where the rich and powerful receive special treatment. We must ensure that in our city, in our nation, and under our Constitution, justice remains blind.

Delgadillo, the highest-ranking Latino to hold a city-wide office in 100 years, grew up on LA’s east side (which is basically what you get if you take everything about Beverly Hills and invert it), and attending public schools in LA before earning a full scholarship to Harvard University. I’m sure he’s had plenty of time to think about why the Paris Hiltons of the world ought to serve out their full jail sentences. I’m also sure he has his eye set on a bigger prize than the LA City Attorney’s office, and he sees this as a good way to raise his profile and garner support — I’m totally okay with that — and I truly can’t think of a more glorious pawn in this scheme than one Paris Whitney Hilton.

Details on the Petition to Have Paris Sent Back to Jail

You can read the full petition from the LA City Attorney’s office here.

Here are the key points:

1) Paris is earning credit against her 45 days every day she is under electronic surveillance at home. So we’ll never get those Paris-in-jail days back. The petition urges again and again that time is of the essence here, which is probably how they got a 9 a.m. court date for tomorrow.

2) The LA City Attorney’s office was not notified about Hilton’s early release, and they are fucking pissed about that.

3) The sentencing initially given by the court, both orally and in writing, stated that Paris should not have the option of being under house arrest for any of her time.

4) The LA City Attorney says that the Sheriff’s Department should be held in contempt of court for releasing Hilton early and violating the judge’s orders.




Paris Might Go Back to Jail

I’ve been sad today — a little bit angry, really — and I didn’t really understand why until I heard that Paris Hilton might actually have to go back to jail, and suddenly I felt a lot better.

Paris will have to appear in court at 9 a.m. tomorrow, after Judge Michael Sauer, who initially sentenced her to jail, ordered her to. The city attorney Rocky Delgadillo filed a petition late Thursday afternoon questioning if Sheriff Lee Baca should be held in contempt of court for releasing her early Thursday morning.

Can we please give Michael Sauer and Rocky Delgadillo a fucking reality TV show? Can we start having them walk the red carpet? Can we start running photographs of them? Because they’re the people we should be looking up to, not Paris Hilton’s trashy, racist, self-obsessed ass.

As I vented in my column earlier today, this is perhaps the most blatant case of pocketbook justice I can recall. Paris being unhappy in jail is not a reason to let her out! NO ONE IS HAPPY IN JAIL. JAIL IS NOT A HAPPY PLACE. THAT IS WHY IT IS A PUNISHMENT. Regular people without fancy lawyers have to stay in jail, even when they don’t like it there, when they break the law. It is total bullshit that Paris could be let out after only three days.

Honestly, I tend to stay pretty emotionally distanced from celebrity goings-on, and, most days, I don’t give a shit about Paris Hilton one way or another, but this seems a gross abuse of the justice system in this country, and it really has me pissed off. I hope the little bitch has to go back.

Random Thursday Music

Hello friends. It’s been quite a bit since I’ve thrown some music your way, so here goes nothing. This is a lot more folksy than we usually feature.. but it’s one my favorite artists, Todd Snider. And it’s pretty mean spirited too, befitting of my moniker. So have a heart, eh?

If it helps at all I’ve seen Todd in concert and I’m fairly sure he’s insane.

One last thing, to be in on the joke note the name of the song.. it’s not just a tribute.

Jayden James Federline is Ready for His Close-Up

Jayden James Picture

Britney Spears youngest tot hasn’t been photographed in public — at least not clearly — since his September 2006 birth, leading many to wonder if there was something wrong with the young Federline. However, it appears Jayden James is alive and well and playing in Hawaii, where Britney is vacationing with her cousin Alli, after spending time in Mexico last week.

Jayden James Picture Britney Hawaii Bikini Picture Britney Spears Jayden James Pictures

Okay, So What Were These Medical Reasons?

If you’re awake, you probably already know that Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning due to “medical reasons.” (You can read the press release from the LA Sheriff’s Dept here.)

Lars speculates that the “medical reasons” are because she wasn’t eating, which sounds like as good a guess as any.

However, publicist Jonathan Jaxson claims to have the real story straight from the Hilton family:

Paris was apparently suffering from severe panic attacks and depression, where she even became suicidal. Towards the end of her stay, Paris began, what others call, a nervous breakdown. Her psychiatrist was so concerned for her well being they did everything possible to get her to a place in which was comfortable for her and her health.

This isn’t exactly consistent with TMZ’s story that Paris was beginning to adjust to jail life, but it’s possible her improved attitude was due to her knowledge that she’d be getting out soon.

Regardless, none of these seem like acceptable reasons for her to be let out of jail. Poor baby, she doesn’t like it there. She’s not eating and she’s crying a whole lot. We need to let her out.

Nobody likes jail. That’s why it’s a punishment.


Paris Out Of Jail


TMZ is reporting this morning that Paris has been freed after only three days in the clink. quoted what it called “unimpeachable sources” saying Hilton left the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, early Thursday.

If these sources indeed can’t be peached then I’d say our long national nightmare is over.


Paris Hilton has been fitted for ankle bracelet and put under house arrest, after authorities determined to release Hilton from prison due to medical reasons, this according to Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Dept. spokesperson Steve Whitmore.

Medical reasons!! So, she’ll be delivered back to the mansion where her servants can work her back into health. I bet this is due to her not eating. Now I totally know why the caged bird sings…