Today's Evil Beet Gossip

CSI Star Lashes Out at TMZ Photog

Gary Dourdan from CSI Beats Up TMZ Photographer

Well, this is one way to get your name in the papers.

CSI star Gary Dourdan went apeshit on a TMZ photographer outside Hyde, beating him violently after mistaking him for someone else. You can check out video of the event here. According to TMZ:

Clad in leather biker gear, Dourdan violently grabbed our photog outside Hyde, who the actor had mistaken for another guy, and slammed him to the pavement several times, sending his head bouncing into concrete over and over again — all while his camera continued to roll.

The chaos began after Dourdan pulled up to the club on his Ducati motorcycle, and shouted at the photog to “get that f**king camera out of my face!” The photog obliged, pointing the camera to the ground — but Dourdan’s rage continued to grow, and the cameraman kept the record button on just in case something happened. Moments later, something happened.

As Dourdan launched his attack, other paparazzi can be heard screaming at Gary, desperately trying to make him stop. Moments after the assault, Dourdan threatened our photog again, saying, “I know all the cops around here, they’re my friends.”

Not very cool, Mr. Dourdan. If you don’t want photogs in your face, don’t fucking go to Hyde.

Bunny Andre?

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Katie Price (aka Jordan) and Peter Andre have finally named their new baby girl….Bunny.

I am all for crazy celebrity names but are you supposed to give a baby a porn star name? Can you imagine “paging Dr. Bunny Andre?” More like “Bunny Andre XXX Hot and Wild.” See my point?

No matter what this crazy couple does however, I just love them dearly. I actually bought an OK Magazine in transit this week for about $12 dollars US. I hate the pound.

Hopefully cute pics of Bunny Andre coming soon. Who can’t wait until Jordan gets her a bright blond baby wig.

[source]

You Can Only Ride the Dragon So Long

Dave Chappelle Probably Does Drugs

Let me preface this by saying I think Dave Chappelle is one of the funniest guys in the business. He’s super duper funny. In fact, as I noted back in the day, (the “day” being April 18th) I’m a big ol’ fan of his antics.

That said, the man is clearly on drugs. Check this out:

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Dave Chappelle was hospitalized over the weekend for exhaustion, his publicist said Tuesday. The 33-year-old comedian checked into an emergency room on Saturday and was released a few hours later, publicist Carla Sims said. “It was exhaustion; he had been traveling,” she said. “He’s fine.”

Yes, the rigorous travel made him “exhausted.” Actually, you should throw some airquotes up if you can on the word “exhaustion” because it so so deserves them. Exhaustion is code for “even his friends (that also do drugs) were freaked out because he combined the dragon with the eight ball so they dropped him at the front door of the hospital before peeling out so that the cop who’s stationed at the ER waiting room couldn’t catch their license plate number.” Man, that’s a long code.

When people are tired they check into a spa. Or a Hyatt. Or they go back to their mansion and order up a bevy of hookers to make them grilled cheese sandwiches. What don’t they do? Head off to the hospital.

Maybe he was tired and I’m reading too much into this. Actually I am pretty tired right now. I could use a grilled cheese.

So You Think You Can Dance: Last Week Wrap Up

So the T has been in a country where she actually met somebody who didn’t know that Paris Hilton had been in jail. I guess news of Paris’s brief jail stay hasn’t hit Madagascar yet.

I’ve been a bit out of the loop with TV in general which makes me a bit sad. Note to travelers, Croatia is the most beautiful country in the world but they are about six years behind in TV. I actually watched an episode of “Family Matters.”

Before the dancing Nigel addresses the controversy from Jessi leaving last week. I was a bit bummed about that being that she was one of my favorite girls on the show.

Lacey and Kameron- They are tackling the Hustle which sounds a bit odd as a choice of dance and their rehearsal looks like they were having some problems. They start the dance with Kameron doing some fancy acro moves. They have really made Lacey look super hot this week. I thought I would hate this as I really usually think the 70s is a decade that one should just forget but the dance was super fun and sassy. Their lifts are just awesome and the judges just love it. Nigel is worried that Lacey is keeping Kameron through in the show.

Shauna and Cedric- This is the most awkward mambo that I have ever seen. In rehearsals Alex shows us that he not so much knows how to dance but knows how to do that weird shakey thing. He gives it a chance but just looks weird and hunched over. The judges give him props for really getting a handle on this dance. In the end they do pretty well and it is the first week that Cedric seems to actually step it up. He really needs to go home.

Anya and Danny- These two get a lyrical routine which is just amazing. Danny is just a beautiful lyrical dancer and honestly I would love to just watch him spin all day. These two really can just turn up the sex even though Danny lets us know his fun fact is that he is obsessed with designer sunglasses. Hmmmmmm. The judges enjoy it fully but let Danny know that he needs to get America excited about him.

Sara and Pasha- They are going to be doing West Coast Swing and Benji the champ from last year is going to choreograph it with Heidi. Benji hams it up for the camera and really I remember why won last year…he is too funny. The dance starts off a bit shakey but really they hit their stride when they just start to be cute. Sara really doesn’t do it for me but I feel as though they will get votes because of their choreographer. Nigel thinks they had the magic and the other judges follow suit.

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Links Links Links

Looks like Jessica Simpson may be hooking up with Dane Cook again. [Gabsmash]

Tara Reid is bringing flabby back. [Gabby Babble]

Lily Allen’s got a third nipple. See, Amy Winehouse, even with your eye makeup and Elvira hair, you’ve been out-freaked. [POTP]

Weeds is coming back … now with more Mary-Kate Olsen. [popbytes]

Val Kilmer got fat. [Celebslam]

Simon Cowell puts Kelly Clarkson in her place. [Cele|bitchy]

Dude, it would make my day if Bridget Moynahan had her baby on Gisele’s birthday. [Holy Candy]

The Victoria Beckham special bombed in the ratings. It got beat by a Wife Swap rerun. Hm, that gives me an idea … somebody get me Katie Holmes on the phone. [A Socialite's Life]

I cannot believe there is drama surrounding the choice of which Springfield in which to premiere The Simpsons movie. Get over it, Oregon! Vermont beat your ass! [Defamer]

The Last Harry Potter Book Has Hit BitTorrent

Harry Potter Book Leaked Online, Where to Find It

Yup, that’s right. Like a Tori Amos album, this thing leaked days before its planned release date.

I’m not going to tell you where to get it.

But if you know where to look for BitTorrents, you know where to look for this.

Oh, who am I kidding? This is a gossip blog.

TorrentSpy.com, guys.

Update: This thing is pretty worthless. I’m not a big Harry Potter fan, but I went ahead and downloaded it just to see if anyone dies. But basically someone just took photos — from pretty far away — of all the pages. It’s barely readable. I’m sure someone will strain their eyeballs and figure out what happens, but that someone’s not going to be me. One of the page photos is after the jump if you want to see what it looks like. You’ll have to click on it a few times to see it full-size.

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NBC is Hitting Up ABC’s Sloppy Seconds

Isaiah Washington Signs Deal with NBC to Guest Star in Bionic Woman

Isaiah Washington’s getting passed around Hollywood like a high-school cheerleader.

After ABC dumped him for calling co-star T.R. Knight a “faggot” (and then repeating the word in a freakin’ press conference), it looked as though Isaiah was on the fast track to an E! True Hollywood Story, but it appears he may be have been given a second chance. NBC, for whatever reason, has decided they want to work with the infamously difficult actor on their new series The Bionic Woman.

Washington will play a mysterious figure who is brought into the enigmatic scientific organization behind the “bionics” that transform Jamie, and whose own agenda is unclear as he instructs her on how to handle her new abilities.

Here’s the thing, though: they’re not signing him on to be a permanent member of the cast. He’ll have a five-episode arc as a guest star, and my guess is, with his current image crisis, they got him for bottom-of-the-barrel prices. And look! We’re all writing about The Bionic Woman today! So this looks to me like a pretty smart PR blitz on NBC’s part rather than a genuine desire to work with Isaiah. However:

NBC said the network also is developing a separate “action-series” project with Washington based on an idea from the actor.

I can just picture this pitch session.

ISAIAH: So I have this great idea for a series. It’s an action series.
NBC: Okay, shoot.
ISAIAH: It’s kind of like a Heroes theme, but with me.
NBC: Go on …
ISAIAH: Picture this: a time traveler from the future comes back to the current day to warn me that the human race is on the brink of extinction.
NBC: Why is the human race on the brink of extinction?
ISAIAH: Because men don’t have sex with women anymore! They are only having sex with men! So no babies are being born! It’s awful!
NBC: Um … so you’re saying that …
ISAIAH: And it is up to me to stop this!
NBC: Look, Isaiah …
ISAIAH: I must do anything and everything in my power to save the human race from annihilation by stopping man-on-man sex!
NBC: We just don’t think this will …
ISAIAH: And all I have to do it with is a billy club!
NBC: Okay. Look. We’re going to take this back to our writers and change it around a bit. We’ll get back to you.