Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OMG Mischa Barton Is So Tragic

Look, I couldn’t even get through two minutes of the preview for Mischa Barton’s new movie, Finding t.A.T.u., about “two teenage girls, Janie who is American and Lana who is Russian, [who] fall in love after meeting at a t.A.T.u concert and are swept into a dangerous world of obsession, drug abuse and murder.”

But if you’re a die-hard Mischa fan, or you just want to watch her making out with a chick, maybe you’ll get through the whole thing. If you do, let me know if something interesting happens in the last two minutes.

Honestly, Mischa, is this what you’ve been reduced to? Damn, girl, get a new agent. Or lay off the weed and start reading your own damn scripts. This looks awful.

Cancer-Free!

Kylie Minogue at the London Premiere of White Diamond, Pictures, Photos

Woo hoo to Kylie Minogue, who premiered her documentary film, White Diamond, in London on Tuesday.

The film follows Kylie’s battle with and recovery from cancer.

And what better outfit for the occasion than a sparkling white dress.

She looks amazing!

Sister Danni was there as well.

Kylie Minogue at the London Premiere of White Diamond, Pictures, Photos Kylie Minogue at the London Premiere of White Diamond, Pictures, Photos Danni Minogue at the London Premiere of White Diamond, Pictures, Photos Danni Minogue at the London Premiere of White Diamond, Pictures, Photos

The JK Rowling Nip Slip That Almost Was

Harry Potter Author J.K. Rowling Shows Her Bra, Almost Nip-Slip, at Reading at Hollywood’s Kodak Theater

Harry Potter Author J.K. Rowling’s Shirt Falls Down, Shows Her Bra, Almost Breasts, at Reading at Hollywood’s Kodak Theater

Just when you thought anyone was immune from the nip-slip seeking eyes of the paparazzi, we get these shots of Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling at a reading at Hollywood’s Kodak Theater, where her dress slipped down and revealed her bra.

Rowling blushed and quickly recovered from the incident.

I want to tell you all that I did pause briefly before writing this article, and I thought to myself, “Is this what my life has come to? Am I actually going to exploit a photo of the bra of a respected author, when this incident was obviously a total accident and in no way a Lohan-style publicity play? Am I going to make sure to include terms like “nip slip” and “breast” in the photo titles, so as to maximize search traffic? Is this actually how I’m using my Master’s degree?”

The answer, my friends, is yes. Yes to all of it.

And I think I speak for all of us when I implore the paparazzi: Now where’s our Condoleezza Rice nip slip?

Get on it, guys!

Quotables

Jon Voight at Premiere of Things We Lost in the Fire

“I find it very heartbreaking that my children want to paint a bad guy portrait of me. I feel it comes from their inability to let go of years of programmed anger from their mother, who understandably felt quite hurt when we divorced. In all truth, I tried to give him and their mother continuous love and support and large sums of money. God knows, for years I’ve tried to mend this relationship. Perhaps the trauma of their mother’s passing has made it worse.”

Angelina Jolie’s estranged father, Jon Voight, in a statement, after son James Haven told Marie Claire that “he put my mom through years of mental abuse.”

Scott Wolf is Still Super Hot

Scott Wolf and Wife Kelley at Project ALS Tomorrow is Tonight 10th Anniversary

Scott Wolf at Project ALS Tomorrow is Tonight 10th Anniversary in New York, Pictures, Photos

He hasn’t done much, ya know, acting lately (that’s actually not true — he gets plenty of roles, just not on shows that stay on the air for any discernible period of time), but he sure is hot still. He doesn’t look like he’s aged a day since the Party of Five era.

The only difference is he’s married now to some hooker named Kelley, who you might remember from The Real World: New Orleans.

Is she pregnant or is her belly just fat?

At an ALS charity function in NYC.

London Still Loves Kate Moss

Kate Moss at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos

Everyone who’s anyone in London showed up on Tuesday night for the launch of the Christmas line of Kate Moss’s Topshop line.

It’s like the more heroin this girl injects, the more people want to buy things from her. No wonder she doesn’t want to quit.

Celebs who showed up include Simon Cowell, Jade Jagger, Elle Macpherson, Lily Allen, Naomi Campbell, and Sophie Dahl.

Kate Moss at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Kate Moss at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Elle Macpherson at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Elle Macpherson at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Naomi Campbell at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Naomi Campbell at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Jade Jagger at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Jade Jagger at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Sophie Dahl at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Simon Cowell at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Lily Allen at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos Lily Allen at Kate Moss ‘Topshop Christmas Range’ Launch in London, Pictures Photos