Today's Evil Beet Gossip

How Fabulous is Kylie Minogue?

Kylie Minogue at Music Industry Trusts’ Awards 2007 Pictures, Photos

On basically anyone else, I would go on a little tirade about the horrendousness of this dress (and the hair!). On Paris Hilton, I would say that she looks like a fly. Or a deformed Mexican fairy.*

But somehow, Kylie pulls it off. She was just blessed with one of those faces that’s strong enough to carry a dress like this.

Seriously, though, kids, this is a Kylie-Minogue-only dress. Do NOT try this at home.

*No offense intended. I love Mexicans. Taco Bell is my favorite!

The New Britney Spears Album Drops Today!!!

Britney Spears Blackout CD Confessional with Priest Pictures Photos

Britney Spears Blackout CD Confessional with Priest Pictures Photos

It’s true!

For the 8 of you who haven’t heard Blackout in its entirety online yet, you can now go out and unnecessarily spend money for it!!!

Here’s some of the art from the CD’s booklet. I actually think this is very cool — it’s artsy and it’s sexy and it’s hot — but, on the other hand, the look-at-me-I’m-being-sexy-in-front-of-a-priest thing has already been done. Still, there’s something compelling about these pics.

The album’s been getting great reviews and the buzz is strong. Will we see another chart-topper out of our favorite top-shearer?

We’ll know soon!

Orlaith McAllister and the Mystery of the Stained Panties

Orlaith McCallister Upskirt, Has Stained Panties, Underwear, Pictures, Photos

So, look.

I love my U.K. readers as much as the next guy — you guys rock — but I tend not to care much about things that go on in Britain.

Why, you ask?

Because I’m an American, and we don’t care about anything that’s not us. Because we don’t have to. And caring is hard.

But this little incident warranted a little delving into a uniquely British world.

If you’re an American, it is a distant possibility that you have heard of a show called Big Brother. They have a version of it here about which no one cares, except for about a million people who are freakishly obsessed with my friend Laremy and his blog on the topic. Honestly, I was covering an event in Hollywood with him once and these two girls ran up to him and were like “OMG you’re Laremy!!!! We recognize you from your MySpace page!!! OMG WE LOVE YOU!!!!”

Anyway.

You’re probably wondering what the point is and where these stained panties come in. I will get to that. I promise.

So in the U.K. this show is a damn phenomenon. It’s like their Survivor. And the contestants become huge stars. And one of them is named Orlaith McAllister. She’s a hot chick. She’s a hot chick who showed up to an event wearing stained panties.

Stained with what?

Menstrual fluid?

Poop?

Bloody semen?

I don’t know, you guys, I just don’t know, but the paparazzi got an upskirt shot of her, and honestly, this is about the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen happen to a celeb. Like, I’d rather the paparazzi get an upskirt shot of me on the toilet while defecating than have this happen to me. At least then I could be like, “You know what? Everybody poops.” But this poor girl can’t really be like, “You know what? Everyone wears stained underwear to formal events.”

Anyway.

The pic is after the jump. Click the thumbnail to enlarge.

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Nobody is Pummeling Jordin Sparks

Jordin Sparks Says She’ll Be A Virgin Until Marriage

Nope, the 17-year-old American Idol winner has vowed to remain a virgin until marriage.

“Temptation is always there,” the American Idol champ told Usmagazine.com at KIIS-FM’s Homecoming Concert in Anaheim, California, October 27. “It’s hard everyday, but I made a promise to myself.”

Since she was 13, the singer has worn a platinum “promise ring” — bearing the inscription “True Love Waits” — that her parents gave her, and she plans to keep it on.

“I wasn’t ever forced into [wearing the ring],” she said. “It’s all about making the right choice and not putting yourself in that situation.”

You know, when I was 17, I thought I was going to stay a virgin until marriage, too, but sometimes you just meet someone and you fall in love and you’re both college graduates and very mature and …

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? By the time I was 17 my virginity was a distant memory. “True Love Waits … For Him to Get Back from the 7-11 with the Condoms.” That’s my motto.

Good luck with this, JSparks.

La Lohan Might Actually Make It Into the New Year Sober

Lindsay Lohan Not Hosting New Year’s Eve 2008 at LAX in Vegas

“Lindsay will no longer be hosting New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas.”

This message comes from her rep, who says Lindsay has backed out of her hosting engagement at Vegas nightclub LAX. The rep says Linsday “continues to focus on her work and sobriety.”

You know what?

Fuck yeah, Linds.

Way to take care of yourself.

I still love you. I always will. But I have someone else now. Her name’s Britney. We support each other now. I’ll be okay, Linds. I can get through this. We can. Me and Britney.

Run, baby girl. Leave me here. Save yourself.

Kid Rock Won’t Face Charges for VMA Smackdown

kid_rock1.jpg

I guess Tommy Lee decided to be the bigger man here, and asked Clark County police not to press charges against Kid for their Alicia Keys-interrupting VMA fight.

“The Clark County District Attorney’s Office will not pursue a battery charge,” Chief Deputy District Attorney Ron Bloxham tells Extra. “It should be noted that Tommy Lee has requested that there be no prosecution relating to the incident and there were no injuries to either person.”

So basically they’re both lousy fighters.

Kid Rock still faces charges in Atlanta for that little Waffle House incident.