Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Okay, The Weirdest Fucking Group of People Showed Up to the Victoria’s Secret Party in Beverly Hills on Thursday Night

Paris Hilton at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos

I don’t even know what to make of this. My head’s kind of exploding right now.

Paris Hilton.

David Hasselhoff.

Matthew Perry.

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge.

Rumer Willis.

Lacey Chabert.

Tila Tequila.

Lydia Hearst.

Aubrey O’Day.

Aubrey O’Day’s extensions.

Cory Kennedy. (Everyone’s favorite teenage heroin addict!)

I don’t even know which joke to make first. It’s overwhelming!!! I want to write an entire short story about this night!! Or film a season of The Surreal Life!

Were they holding an AA meeting afterwards? Are you even allowed to attend AA meetings if your last name’s Tequila? Honestly, the only thing this all-star team was missing was its group counselor.

Or did attendance count as some manner of community service?

I just don’t understand!

A couple other points:

1) Paris Hilton needs to never wear a jumpsuit like that again. In fact, the whole world needs to never wear a jumpsuit like that again. We need to start flying planes over third-world countries and dropping pamphlets with a variety of pictographic instructions informing them that no one, anywhere, ever, is to wear a jumpsuit like that ever again.

2) Rumer Willis’s hair is back to brunette. And it’s curly now. Not, like, a luxurious curl. More of an I-didn’t-realize-I-wasn’t-supposed-to -have-the-blow-dryer-in-the-bathtub curl.

Aubrey O’Day at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Tila Tequila at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Rumer Willis at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Rumer Willis at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Lydia Hearst at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Lacey Chabert at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Lacey Chabert at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Matthew Perry at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos David Hasselhoff at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Cory Kennedy at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos Cory Kennedy at Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta PINK Party in Beverly Hills, Pictures, Photos

Quotables

Blake Lively Says Brad and Angelina Poop, Too

“It is a crazy and completely insane business. I’ll go to an event wearing some designer gown and tens of thousands of dollars in jewels that were lent to me for the night, and I’ll walk around and meet people who I always thought were such a big deal…Stars really are like anyone else. At the end of the day, Brad Pitt poops — as handsome as he may be–and so does Angelina Jolie. I’m still baffled by how odd this job is.”

Gossip Girl‘s Blake Lively, to CosmoGirl

I think Blake may be my new girl crush. As some of you have pointed out, Jaslene is really kind of disgustingly skinny lately, and while I applaud her humanitarian efforts, she’s kind of losing her sheen for me. Blake, on the other hand, is super adorable and healthy looking. Yeah. I definitely have a thing for her.

Sandra Oh is Legally Single

Sandra Oh Finalizes Divorce

Who knew she was ever married?

Apparently her divorce was finalized today. She married Sideways writer-director Alexander Payne in January 2003. The two split in 2005, but it took them two years to hammer out the post-marriage financial arrangements. Basically, Sandra was seeking spousal support, and Payne refused to pay it.

Links Links Links

Jesus Christ, Donald Trump’s granddaughter has a comb-over. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Check out my take on last night’s episode of Gossip Girl. [Film.com]

Uh, didn’t Lucy Lawless used to be hot? And not, you know, Paula Poundstone? [Agent Bedhead]

Hey, guess who looks good naked? Yup, Eva Mendes! [Flisted]

Did Jen Aniston finally lay into Brad? [popbytes]

Ben Affleck puts baseball before career. [Mollygood]

Eva Longoria’s repping Bebe Sport. Bebe is still around? [Gabby Babble]

Katie Holmes: Still not pregnant. Come on, folks. This girl’s never been pregnant. [Cele|bitchy]

It’s funny when models fall on the runway. It’s even funnier when they fall through holes in the runway. [Celebslam]

I don’t know who Minka Kelly is, but I sure do know what her underwear looks like now. [Drunken Stepfather]