Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Can Christina Ricci Please Be at Every Event?

Christina Ricci at DKNY Delicious Night Fragrance Launch Party in New York, Pictures, Photos

I just want to put her little pixie ass in my pocket and take her everywhere with me.

I imagine that, if I were feeling sad, I could pull her out, put her on a table, and she’d do some manner of magical pixie dance that would cheer me right up. Or at least share her weed.

The haircut is stunning. She looks beautiful. Just so very Ricci. I feel like that should be an adjective. I don’t know what it means, exactly, but she just embodies this Ricciness that deserves its own word.

Dance, little Ricci, dance!

There Is No Cocaine Left in the West Village

Rumer Willis and Zoe Kravitz at DKNY Delicious Night Fragrance Launch Party, Pictures, Photos

Rumer Willis and Zoe Kravitz enjoy themselves by standing on some manner of couch at the DKNY Delicious Night Fragrance launch party in NYC. Something tells me they don’t need the help of furniture to be higher than everyone else.

I have great hopes for Zoe Kravitz around these parts. I want to see more of her. She’s everything that was fabulous about her mother at this age.

Yeah. Kim Kardashian Did Playboy.

Kim Kardashian at Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch, Pictures, Photos

Kim Kardashian at Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch, Pictures, Photos

Tragically, mean and grumpy lawyers made us take down the wonderful pictures we had of Kim Kardashian in Playboy, but here she is in basically the same poses at the Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch in NYC.

Jesus, Kim, I can smell your vagina over the Internet. Can you do anything without being sexual about it?

In fairness, I still have all her Playboy pics on my computer, and one of them is currently my desktop background. I kind of love that.

Wanna know something else funny? When I was in college, 100 years ago, my boyfriend and I found this hilarious Photoshopped picture of Britney Spears’ head on a nude body. We thought it was so funny that we made it my desktop background, and it stayed there for almost a year. People would see my computer and be like “Oh my God! That cannot be real! Britney Spears would never do that.”

Oh, how naive we once were.

Quotables

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“I blame myself. What mother wouldn’t? I wish I’d been there more while she was touring. But I couldn’t be. I had the other kids to look after … I didn’t raise my children to have Hollywood careers. This all just exploded in my face, and big dreams became big headaches … Here are two parents who care about their kids. They’re good people. With my daughter’s, Kevin’s and the boys’ interest at heart, I’m trying my best to bring them together, to bridge the gap. I think things are getting good.”

Lynne Spears, to Life & Style magazine.

Kevin recently decided to take Britney to court again, seeking to limit her already measly visitation rights.

Yes, Lynne. Things are just starting to get good.

For me, at least.