Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables

Donald Trump Says Dan Rather is a Loser

“Dan Rather’s a loser. Dan Rather had low ratings for years. I used to say, whoever represents Rather does a great job, because he always was in third place, he always had terrible ratings, and they wouldn’t fire him.”

Donald Trump — remember him? — to CNN, when asked about the former CBS anchor’s $70M lawsuit against his old employer.

Somebody Bought Paris Hilton’s New Boyfriend a Thesaurus

Paris Hilton’s New Boyfriend Alex Vaggo Says She’s Intelligent

Hottie Alex Vaggo, the Swedish tourist, describes Paris and her family as “kind, normal and ordinary.” He went on to say they are “humane, lenient, congenial, boiler plate, mundane, quotidian and habitual.”

The 20-year-old described Paris as “intelligent,” which is probably just a term his thesaurus provided when he looked up “experienced.”

“I had a totally different picture of her before [I met her]. I was impressed she was so focused. I love to be in her company,” he said.

Alex was working at a pizza joint and living in a hostel when a friend introduced them at a restaurant. Yeah, I’d love to be in her company, too. Even Paris Hilton’s bed is better than a hostel.

Lindsay Lohan to Be Unleashed Upon Society Once Again

Lindsay Lohan to Be Released from Rehab at Cirque Lodge in Utah This Weekend

Brace yourselves, people! Stay clear of Les Deux. Hide your cocaine. And get some extra film for your cameras. Lindsay Lohan is coming back.

The actress has been safely contained in a Utah rehab facility for the past two months, but word on the street is that she’s being released from captivity this weekend.

Where will she go? What will she do? “I don’t think she knows yet,” says a friend. This is Lindsay’s third rehab stint, and by far the longest, and friends say she’s really serious about sobriety this time. But that’s what they say every time. Will she return to her old haunts in LA? Or will she hole up with her family in Long Island, where she retreated after her July drunk driving/cocaine incident? How long will it take before she’s finding trouble again? Stay tuned.

Zac Efron is So Not Gay, He Even Plays Video Games

Zac Efron at Halo 3 Party at Universal City

Zac Efron became the one and only celebrity to attend the Halo 3 launch party at Universal City yesterday. He wore a leather jacket. He gave the hang ten sign. He played video games with other same-age males.

See?

This is what normal, heterosexual young men do.

Anyway, I hate to admit it, but this kid’s starting to grow on me. He’s kind of hot, if I were into much younger men. And sadly, I’m getting to be old enough that it’s not illegal to be into much younger men. That’s kind of tragic.

Zac Efron Hang Ten Sign at Halo 3 Launch Party Zac Efron Plays Video Games at Halo 3 Launch Party zac_halo3.jpg

It Is Possible Keifer Sutherland Has a Drinking Problem

Keifer Sutherland Gets a DUI

The 40-year-old actor just scored his second DUI in three years.

He was pulled over at 1:35 AM PST on the corner of La Cienega and Beverly after making an illegal U-turn. He’d been attending a party for FOX network at Area. Sutherland allegedly blew nearly a .16, more than twice the legal limit of .08. That’s pretty damn drunk to be behind the wheel of a car.

If Sutherland’s convicted, he’ll do a minimum of five days in jail, due to his 2004 DUI.

Get thee to a rehabbery, Keifer.

Lindsay Lohan Can Break Up a Marriage Even from Rehab

Lindsay Lohan and Tony Allen at Cirque Lodge, Pictures Together

This is priceless:

A British heiress from a family worth $1.4 billion has started divorce proceedings after reports surfaced that her husband, Dead Stays Alive frontman Tony Allen, had sex with Lindsay Lohan while staying at the Cirque Lodge rehab clinic …

Stephanie Allen, 28, the packaging heiress whose family makes boxes for McDonald’s, filed 52 pages worth of divorce papers last week in in Savannah, Georgia’s Chatham County Court, identifying Lohan as one of the precipitators of the divorce.

Says Ms. Allen in her affadavit: “My husband entered a drug rehabilitation centre in Utah…on or about July 11, 2007. After my husband’s return from said rehabilitation I was bombarded by telephone call alerting me to the fact that my husband’s conduct with another woman was on the internet and in gossip magazines.” Rumors on the internets had Lohan banging Tony Allen in a Cirque Lodge rehab. Dude, rehab sex is the hottest, especially in the bathroom.

Lohan’s reps are denying the rumors. “It’s unfortunate Stephanie Allen is blaming the demise of her marriage on Lindsay,” they say. “Stephanie needs to look at her marriage to determine the reason why things went wrong because it has nothing to do with Lindsay. Lindsay and Tony are friends and that’s all. They are supporting one another through a similar experience. This is a friendship based on trust and mutual support and nothing else.”

Tony — who I’m sure has his eye on some of that $1.4B — has predictably denied the rumors, saying: “We’re great friends. We share a common affliction, and we just talk about life sometimes.” But other reports say he was bragging about the incident in a bar, saying, “C’mon, it’s Lindsay Lohan. Hell, yes! Wouldn’t you?”

What was this guy doing in a bar?

I hope Tony Allen pulls a Jason Wahler and gets engaged to Lindsay in the next couple of months. There’s no love quite as stable as early-recovery love.

He’s Alive!!!

George Clooney and Injured Sarah Larson on Crutches attend Michael Clayton Premiere in NYC

George Clooney and his gimpy girlfriend, Sarah Larson, seem to have survived last week’s motorcycle accident. The injured couple showed up at the premiere of Michael Clayton in NYC on Monday night.

“I’m a little dinged up – lots of Neosporin,” he told reporters at the event. “I’m definitely not jogging or doing jumping jacks.”

He also mentioned that the incident may not have gone over so well with the producers of Burn After Reading, the film he’s shooting in New York.

“I’m not supposed to be on a motorcycle,” he said. “I think I am in trouble now.”