Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Does Dexter Find Jesus Next Season?

I sure hope so, because how adorable would it be for little Michael C. Hall to embrace the Lord? He could go to church with Angel and read the Bible to little Harrison. Or, you know, not. He could burn churches and live in filthy sin too, I don’t really care. Basically I’m just unbearably excited about the sixth season of Dexter and all the magic and drama that it will surely hold.

How delightful is this upcoming season going to be?

Quotables: Lady Gaga IS Theatre

A photo of Lady Gaga

“Art is a lie. And every day I kill to make it true. It is my destiny to exist halfway between reality and fantasy at all times. They call me “theatrical,” but I posit profusely that I am theatre, and that theatre is me. I am a show with no intermission. It is this thing that summons me from the depths of reality and reminds me that the power of transformation is endless. That I (we) possess something magical and transformative inside?—??a uniqueness and specialness waiting to be exiled from the depths of our identity. I have said before that I am a master of escapism, which many attribute to my wigs, performances, and my natural inclination to be grand, but perhaps that is also a lie. Maybe I am not escaping. Maybe I am just being. Being myself.”

- Lady Gaga reaches new heights of pretentiousness in her latest article for V Magazine.

I never wanted Lady Gaga to get to me like this. Of course I dislike her and of course I can’t stand the vast majority of her music, but honestly, I feel a little bit of rage. To be fair, it’s probably because I’m so fragile from Harry Potter, but Jesus, would I love to just punch her in the throat.

In case you haven’t heard, I positively adore theatre, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how much. And I could probably respect the hell out of this quote if, you know, it didn’t come from the girl who sings the absolute dumbest songs and is just a damn joke. I can’t even stand it. I’m going to have to walk this one off, you guys.

Feel free to bash Lady Gaga and/or praise the magic of theatre in the comments!

Justin and Selena Crashed A Wedding

A photo of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez

How would you feel if Justin Bieber crashed your wedding? I mean, I think Selena would be fine, it’d just be like, “hey, someone brought their adorable preteen daughter, that’s cool,” but if The Biebz himself dropped by with all his swagger, just shaking his glorious hair and raising the douchiness in the atmosphere, it might be a little too much.

Here’s what happened:

According to our sources at Rob and Jeanine McCool’s wedding … Bieber and Gomez were strolling on the beach when they heard Justin’s hit “One Less Lonely Girl” playing at the reception — inside the historic and shi shi Adamson House.

We’re told Justin snuck up on some guests — who predictably OMG’d and LOL’d — and then hopped on the mic, saying … “We just crashed it. We heard a party so we decided to just come. So let’s party.”

Biebs and Selena only stayed for about 10 minutes to pose for pics — including some with the happy couple — and then bolted.

Yeah, if “One Less Lonely Girl” plays at your wedding, then either you’re a grown ass adult with Bieber Fever, you have a cruel DJ, or you have a hilarious inside joke involving the song (I do, you guys. I really do). But no matter what the reason, I’d still get pretty upset if beautiful, beautiful Justin stole the spotlight on my special day. I’d have to instruct the boy to take his lady and his loose morals and hightail it away from my sacred union. What about you?