Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Nicole Richie’s DUI Trial Is Starting Tomorrow Whether She Likes It Or Not

Nicole Richie Hides Her Face and Pregnant Stomach with a Pillow as She Walks Through LAX to Go to Canada, Picture, Photo

After everything Paris Hilton just went through, you’d think Nicole Richie would just shut up and play nice with the court system, but no such luck. Nicole announced in mid-June that she was going to fight her DUI charge, and her trial was supposed to start tomorrow, but her lawyer showed up at an L.A. courthouse today to ask that the trial be postponed until August 5. Why? Well, Dr. Terence McGee, a nationally recognized expert on drug testing, can’t testify until August. Is Nicole going to contest the results of the drug testing? I think mostly they’re just doing everything in their power to push this thing back so that Nicole doesn’t have to give birth in jail. At any rate, the commissioner (What’s a commissioner? Why isn’t it a judge? Legal people, help!) said he would not make a ruling, and ordered both parties back in court tomorrow morning, which is when the trial is scheduled to begin.

Meanwhile, Nicole flew off to Canada yesterday (hiding her face and belly with a pillow as she walked through LAX) to hang out with Joel Madden while he plays a show there, but perhaps she should consider boarding a plane back home tonight. Or are we going to have to extradite her?

Paris Hilton Checks Out Sicko

Paris Hilton Sees Michael Moore Movie Sicko at The Grove, Pictures and Photos

Apparently Paris Hilton’s new image make-over involves her spending her time seeing Very Important Movies. Even though Fantastic Four and Evan Almighty are playing at The Grove, Paris instead chose to spend her time there seeing Michael Moore’s healthcare documentary, Sicko.

Mostly, though, I like this picture because the security guard appears to be taking his job so very seriously. If there’s something this world sorely lacks, it’s mall security guards who are willing to throw their own bodies in between celebrities and the paparazzi.

Paris Hilton Sees Michael Moore Movie Sicko at The Grove, Pictures and Photos

Michael Moore Goes Wonderfully Apeshit on CNN

So Perez linked to this video with just the Michael Moore rant, but I’m gonna try to give you guys a broader picture.

If you just want to rock out to Michael Moore going apeshit on Wolf Blitzer (who, to his credit, handled it very well), you can see that video below.

If you want to watch the entire CNN piece, including the introductory segment CNN did on Sicko, it’s here:

And if you’d like to read Moore’s post-show rebuttal on his website, you can read it here. I’m not typically one of those “the media is lying to us all” types, but Moore makes some very good points. CNN not only twisted their facts (and Moore’s site points you directly to the primary sources, so you can check for yourself), they had some absolutely blatant errors in their discussion of the film.

Look, I don’t claim to know anything about anything, but I did watch Sicko, and I do find it just a little bit disturbing that health care is free in all industrialized Western nations other than the U.S. Seriously, no one pays out of pocket for any non-elective medical procedure in Britain, France and even Cuba. They don’t even have health insurance companies like we do in the U.S. Like, if you need heart surgery, no problem! You just go ahead and get it, for free, and everyone is automatically insured, just by being a citizen. Of course, your taxes are higher to pay for it, but that seems like a small price to pay to not have to worry all the time about what health care is going to cost you. In much the same way that you’d never think about having to pay the fire department for putting out the fire in your apartment building, or paying the policeman for stopping that guy who’s mugging you, people in those nations never think about paying the doctor who’s saving their lives. I just think it would be really nice to have that here.

The Hills Season 3 Trailer: Heidi Knows What She Did

The Hills is coming back, kids, and I can’t wait!!!

The trailer premiered tonight, and it looks like season three has everything:

Lauren, still with headbands and adorable facial expressions! And she’s dating like a guy! And kissing foreigners!

Heidi! Now with lighter eyebrows!

Spencer! When you need something to help you throw up that pizza you shouldn’t have eaten, he’s still the next-best thing to your fingers!

Whitney! Now with an actual storyline!

Audrina! Still with no actual storyline!

And making a return this season:

Brody Jenner, sticking to the good-looks-with-no- personality-to-complicate-it M.O.!

Jason Wahler, back from rehab! And back in Lauren’s life!!!

And if you’ve been jonesing for some good old-fashioned Heidi/Lauren conflict, there appears to be a fantastic “You know what you did” scene. Someone’s been taking lessons from Paris Hilton …

The Hills premieres August 13 on MTV.

Links Links Links

Alessandra Ambrosio’s making out with the same dude she was with on the fourth of July. He’s still shorter than her, and, yet, he’s still not you. [Celebslam]

The dangers of being famous, Reese Witherspoon: the paparazzi catch you scratching your ass. [Drunken Stepfather]

Jillian Barberie has her baby girl. [SOW]

Joel Madden gets kicked out of the Beverly Hills Hotel for threatening to kick Spencer Pratt’s ass. See, and I would have held an impromptu awards ceremony. [POTP]

Honestly, Britney, it’s a pretty easy formula: Hot body = okay to wear skimpy clothing, whereas cottage cheese thighs = not okay at all. [Holy Candy]

The Harry Potter kids get their hands dirty at Mann’s Chinese Theater. [popbytes]

I guess Lance Bass makes more sense on Broadway than in outer space. But I have to admit I had to think about it for a second. [Cele|bitchy]

Vanessa Minnillo takes a break from taking it doggy-style in Mexican hot tubs in order to go bowling with some gal pals. [Daily Stab]

Jason Priestley’s a Daddy!

Jason Priestley and Wife Picture, Photo, They Had a Baby Girl in July

Okay, am I the only person who never thought Jason Priestley was all that hot? I’m sorry, but Brandon Walsh never did anything for me. I was always a Dylan McKay girl, through and through. I mean, I guess I’d take Brandon over Steve Sanders every day of the week and twice on Sundays, but would definitely rather be wtih David Silver than either of them (but not as much as I’d want to be with Dylan). I’m rambling. To clarify, here are the primary male characters on Beverly Hills, 90210, in decreasing order of the desire I had to sleep with them in the mid-90s:

Dylan McKay
David Silver
Brandon Walsh
Steve Sanders

However, this has all changed radically today, as Luke Perry has not aged well, but Jason really has. Honestly, so has Ian Ziering. And Brian Austin Green hasn’t done bad for himself, either. It’s been really confusing for me. Sexually, I mean. It’s difficult to have your girlhood crushes tossed about like that. So here are the primary male actors on Beverly Hills, 90210, in decreasing order of the desire I have to sleep with them today:

Jason Priestley
Brian Austin Green
Ian Ziering
Luke Perry

Now that we have the important part of this story out of the way, I should tell you that Jason Priestley’s wife had a baby on July 2.

“She’s beautiful,” said Priestley. “It was like the second she came into the world, just everything changed.”

This is his first child, and he’s refusing to reveal her name.

The Spice Girls Have a Sixth Member: Their Therapist

Spice Girls Hire a Therapist to Go on Tour

The Spice Girls are celebrating female empowerment by hiring a therapist to help them work through their on-tour cattiness.

Record label Virgin has decided that they already saw this multi-million-dollar business go down in flames once because these chicks can’t keep their egos in check when you put them in the same room, and they’re gonna make damn sure they don’t watch it happen again. According to a source:

This tour will be massive and record bosses do not want anything getting in the way – least of all the girls themselves. They want Girl Power to come back in style, not end in arguments between the girls. So taking a therapist along to smooth out any problems makes sense.

The therapist will be available any time the girls need someone to talk to so that any disagreements do not get out of hand. It would be a disaster if any of them walked out mid-way through the tour.

They had a person like this at my middle school, too. Her name was Ms. Mitchell, and we had to go see her whenever we teased someone for having fat calves, or spilling food on themselves, or being in possession of a tampon. Then I got to high school, and we didn’t really have a person like that anymore, because we didn’t really have catty, retarded fights anymore. And now I’m twenty-five and I work in a large corporate office with dental and vision benefits and they definitely don’t have a person like that because it turns out we’re all adults making a fair amount of money to do a relatively easy job and if we have issues with one another we work it out like adults, even when it sucks and our egos get a little bit bruised. How nice for the Spice Girls that they’re not expected to do anything like that.