Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Gets Sued Yet Again

Lindsay Back in Rehab

We’ve always wondered, is this Lohan kid going to make it as an actress? The answer becomes more cloudy by the day, but one thing is for certain — the gal is great at getting sued. Check this noise out: Lohan Sued Again Over 2005 Car Crash.

Now that’s just sad. It’s the “again” that really chokes me up here. The really bad news is that this lawsuit isn’t for a measly $3624. Oh no, my friends, she’s looking at a bill of (drumroll please):

The lawsuit, which seeks at least $200,000 in damages, also named The Ivy restaurant as a defendant, claiming its staff gave Lohan alcoholic drinks even though she was under the legal drinking age.

Delightful! I don’t believe a third lawsuit can come out of this, but you never know. We’ll keep you informed either way.

Don’t Worry Guys, I Gots Your Back

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I know Beet did her best to frighten everyone that we’d all be without Friday entertainment. But we won’t. Because Spiteful Lars is on the case, and I plan on posting like a dervish. I’m talking hot blogging action here, stuff you won’t find on all those other blogs. So let’s start you off with the first story of the day:

Kathy Hilton and daughter Nicky are still reeling from their visits to Paris in jail, they tell PEOPLE.

Smell that? Yep, it’s Paris news, people. And here you thought it was Sulfur mixed with Poo.

“It’s tough. It is,” said Kathy, who saw her daughter on Tuesday. “It’s just one hour a week: 30 minutes on Sunday and 30 minutes on Tuesday. We talk through glass.”

The Sunday/Tuesday thing throws me and makes me think that the jail system doesn’t understand there are seven days in a week. Guys, how about a little Sunday/Wednesday schedule? That way Paris won’t have to go four straight days without some “through glass” loving.

“And this one” – gesturing to Nicky – “left in hysterics,” Kathy added. “Nicky tried to keep the brave face but – I never see Nicky cry.”

Clearly she’s never seen The Notebook with one Ryan Gosling. It’s a horrible movie but girls seem to cry in it. C’mon, Nick, get in touch with that old sensitive side. Nicky added:

“It’s sad. It’s like right out of the movies,” she said. “The glass partition, the orange jumpsuit. Everything.”

So we’ve established that you at least see movies. It’s under “N” in the drama section. Fetch, girl, fetch. Also, please note that the above photo was taken after this traumatic experience. Ahem.

“What’s annoying is all these people are going on television saying that she was drinking and driving,” said Nicky. “She’s not in jail for DUI. That’s a big misconception. She’s in jail for driving on a suspended license, just like the D.A.’s wife was. … She got a $186 fine.”

Well.. I don’t know about that. Isn’t the root of all this the DUI? So if she hadn’t gotten that her license wouldn’t have been suspended ergo she’d still be strolling around Sunset Ave looking for johns? It’s like the butterfly effect theory in action. To take this back even further I blame her being born. You’ve got to admit she wouldn’t be in jail if she didn’t exist in the first place.

“There are no appeals – as Paris said. But the point is that I hope this will shine a light on everybody (in those jails). That’s the positive,” said Kathy. The jails, she said, “need financial help, and it’s very sad to see what’s going on in there.”

You have a billion dollars. Be a buddy and build the Paris Hilton L.A. County Jail. It will be hot!

PS- I won’t be using any “more” jump buttons today because I need to break at least one posting rule while Evil Beet is away.

PPS – Feel free to drunk dial me Beet’s friends, I’m great on the phone. It’s real life that sinks me.

Test





Is this a Miley Cyrus upskirt photo??? It hit the Internet this week. To me, it looks like she’s wearing underwear. You can view the uncensored version and the close-up thumbnails below to decide for yourself. Or, to check out some real celebrity upskirt photos, click here for our gallery.

Links Links Links

Hello my lovelies.

Just a heads-up that posting will be slow tomorrow, because I am graduating!!! The incomparable Evil T is trekking from NYC to LA to celebrate with me (I LOVE YOU T!!!) so we’ll be down two bloggers. Lars will still be around, so if he finds it in his heart to post, feel free to heckle. And there’s always the distant possibility that my drunken out-of-town friends will gain access to my computer late at night, at which point I don’t know what you should expect. Poor spelling, at the very least. And possibly photos of their nipples. They all keep bugging me to make them famous, you know …

Wow, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen Calista Flockhart pics. Here she is at her son’s baseball game. [A Socialite's Life]

NBA wunderkind LeBron James is a daddy! [Bossip]

Angelina Jolie’s all like, “Look, I’d like to keep my private life private” and the media’s all like, “WE HAVE RIGHTS, BITCH!” [Cele|bitchy]

Amy Winehouse beats up her husband when she’s drunk. [Warship]

Kelly Clarkson has canceled her summer tour because the album sucks, her label hates her and she fired her manager. [POTP]

Kathy Hilton takes some time out her busy schedule of visiting her daughter in jail to watch Barbara Walters get her star on the Boulevard. [popbytes]

It seems the world is still under the impression that Nicole Richie’s internal organs are capable of sustaining a pregnancy. [Mollygood]

THE OLSEN TWINS ARE 21!!!!! Holy shit, now they’re going to start drinking and doing drugs and going out to clubs and getting into fights with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and … oh, wait. [IBBB]

Apparently Meg Ryan acquired a baby recently. [Celebslam]

Britney Spears Needs Help

Britney Spears Wants Fans to Help Name Her Album

Well, we already knew that.

But now she’s asking for a different kind of help. Apparently Miss Spears once again managed to gain access to her website, BritneySpears.com, and left a little post asking fans to help her name her new album. Here are her suggestions:

1. Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like
2. What if the Joke is on You
3. Down boy
4. Integrity
5. Dignity

Britney, why don’t you leave poking fun at Lindsay Lohan to the pros, okay? And I assure you the joke is not on me, as I made quite a pretty penny late last year when my website was the #1 Google hit for “Britney Spears crotch shot,” which led interested parties to pictures of your vagina. On the other hand, if one were to do a Google search for “Evil Beet crotch shot,” one is, once again, greeted by photos of your vagina (and Lindsay Lohan’s). So, yeah, what if the joke’s not so much on me?

It’s a damn shame there not a write-in option.

Worst.Boob Job.Ever

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I’m sorry but seriously Heidi Montag…those boobs are a bit too much. I am all for the boob job. There are many celebrities that go out, get themselves some natural looking fakes and really it doesn’t hotten them up a bit. Heidi, in true reality-vixen fashion, has gotten herself boobs that are wayyyy to big for her little frame.

She is very into having her new boobs photographed quite a lot. I don’t know who cares enough to show up on a beach and take her picture but it keeps happening over and over again. I really can’t wait for her “album” to come out. I bet she is a REALLY good singer.

For more pictures of her big plastic boobies click [here]