Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Yeah. Kim Kardashian Did Playboy.

Kim Kardashian at Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch, Pictures, Photos

Kim Kardashian at Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch, Pictures, Photos

Tragically, mean and grumpy lawyers made us take down the wonderful pictures we had of Kim Kardashian in Playboy, but here she is in basically the same poses at the Morgan 4 Ever clothing line launch in NYC.

Jesus, Kim, I can smell your vagina over the Internet. Can you do anything without being sexual about it?

In fairness, I still have all her Playboy pics on my computer, and one of them is currently my desktop background. I kind of love that.

Wanna know something else funny? When I was in college, 100 years ago, my boyfriend and I found this hilarious Photoshopped picture of Britney Spears’ head on a nude body. We thought it was so funny that we made it my desktop background, and it stayed there for almost a year. People would see my computer and be like “Oh my God! That cannot be real! Britney Spears would never do that.”

Oh, how naive we once were.

Quotables

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“I blame myself. What mother wouldn’t? I wish I’d been there more while she was touring. But I couldn’t be. I had the other kids to look after … I didn’t raise my children to have Hollywood careers. This all just exploded in my face, and big dreams became big headaches … Here are two parents who care about their kids. They’re good people. With my daughter’s, Kevin’s and the boys’ interest at heart, I’m trying my best to bring them together, to bridge the gap. I think things are getting good.”

Lynne Spears, to Life & Style magazine.

Kevin recently decided to take Britney to court again, seeking to limit her already measly visitation rights.

Yes, Lynne. Things are just starting to get good.

For me, at least.

Always a Winner

Carrie Underwood Wins CMA for Best Female Vocalist and Best Single, Pictures, Photos

Taylor Swift Wins CMA for Best Newcomer, Pictures, Photos

Congratulations to Carrie Underwood, who won the CMAs for best female vocalist and single of the year (“Before He Cheats”). I bet she’s gonna have some crazy award-winner sex with hottie boyfriend Chace Crawford tonight. Those awards actually look like they’d make some pretty damn kinky sex toys. Hmm.

Underwood lookalike Taylor Swift, age 17, won for best newcomer. She’s gorgeous! Someone get that girl to Les Deux, pronto!!! There’s no way she can get into enough trouble in Nashville.