Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Yeah, Things Aren’t Going So Hot for Britney

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Oh man. Poor girl.

When asked by an “Extra” reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, ““Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!” Spears walked back into the courtroom crying.

Snort it?

What could “it” refer to here? I can’t think of any one thing you can eat, lick, snort and fuck.

Pie, maybe?

Diluting the Britney Spears Coverage

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Okay, so I know some of you are really, really sick of hearing about Britney’s custody hearing today. I have to put this shit up for the people who do care, but I’m gonna try to dilute it a little bit for the rest of you.

So here we have a photo of Britney arriving to court today along with an adorable photo of Carrie Underwood in sweats, checking out of her NYC hotel.

A spoonful of Carrie helps the Britney go down!

(Who am I kidding? Britney doesn’t need any help going down.)

It Doesn’t Appear That This Custody Hearing is Making Britney Very Happy

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She keeps taking “bathroom” breaks, during which she changes up her hair, make-up and, sometimes, sunglasses.

Observers say she’s been crying and seems very upset.

No press allowed in the courtroom (originally it was just no recording devices, but the judge changed his mind), so we won’t have any news on what’s actually going on until the hearing is over.

Quotables

Natalie Portman to Guest Edit Issue of Scholastic Math

“Math was one of my favorite subjects at school. It always gets a bad rap and I’m not sure why… Sure you need to use math daily for knowing how much tip to leave at a restaurant or how much flour you need to make double the amount of cookies in a recipe, but it is the less obvious practical parts of math that are most fun for me – like considering the principles of infinity. It made me excited about life to consider the limitlessness of the mind and what we can do with it.”

Natalie Portman, who is the guest editor for an upcoming issue of the magazine Scholastic Math.

Jason Wahler’s in Jail

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I actually feel bad for the guy. He got sober, cleaned his act up, and worked things out with Lauren.

But the law’s the law, and Jason’s paying the price for his April arrest in Seattle. He was sentenced to 30 days, but will probably only do 20 of them.

Says his rep:

“He has been through rehabilitation, done community service and has been attending AA meetings. He would like to be an example to young people to make them realize that there are consequences for bad behavior. He is making amends and looks forward to continuing success in his career.”

I can’t wait to watch this shit go down on The Hills!