7Paris + Construction Paper = Glee

Paris Hilton made a special gift for her visiting dad Sunday – a Father’s Day card.

Oh joy, oh bliss, this is going to be a fun one to start off our Monday. My 6th grade writing teacher told me “write what you know” and I know making fun of Paris. Let’s do this.

On their way in (to visit Paris), Rick was asked if this was a particularly hard Father’s Day. “It’s not ideally my best,” he replied. Asked how he felt, he said: “I feel alright.”

I hope that’s not a real quote because “It’s not ideally my best” doesn’t make any sense. “It’s not ideal” or “It’s a hard Father’s day” or “This isn’t the best time” all work, but what he said is a bit like saying “It’s not wonderfully my great.” But wait, there’s more.

[Paris] made [Rick] a beautiful Father’s Day card with his picture.”

I smell a rat. How did she get his picture? Also, I’ve found that when making cards for mom and dad it’s best to keep it simple. Just throw the coupons in there for free yard work or doing the dishes and call it good. A picture on the card? What is this, the future?

Before they got into their car, Kathy was asked what her daughter was doing to pass the time. She quipped: “She looks at the four walls, and reads some nice fan mail.”

Is that a “quip?” Can I get a ruling here? I think People is trying to use their words but that comment was closer to a “remark.”

Also, Paris, Why not get some books? I could do ten years in the joint if I had books. I’m not even kidding on that. And how long does the fan mail portion take? Six minutes? Oh wait, as she has to sound out the pop up book part we’re probably looking at an hour to get through it. Hopefully they’ve put her picture on the cards.

That’s last sentence is called a “callback” and in the hands of a lesser blog it would feel dirty. Here it’s pleasurable. Welcome to the week my lovelies.

June 18, 2007 at 7:14 am by Spiteful Lars

0Links Links Links

Coral from Real World: NY is re-embracing her lesbianism. And lesbians worldwide are looking forward to re-embracing that rack. [Bossip]

Justin Timberlake admits that JBiel is more of a “Miss Right Now.” Story of her life. [Cele|bitchy]

Jennifer Aniston’s bringing smartwater everywhere. [Celebslam]

Let them eat Paris Hilton cake. [popbytes]

Remember J.R. Rotem? Neither does Britney Spears. But I guess he fucked her wheelbarrow-style. You know, for all the shit we gave Kevin Federline for being classless, that dude was never, ever bragging to reporters about all the positions he had Britney in. [Ninja Dude]

Rihanna talks about her dad’s crack cocaine habit. (Side note: after jamming out to “Umbrella” all damn weekend, my friends and I walked right past Rihanna at The Grove today — she is super-tall and gorgeous in person.) [The Bosh]

June 17, 2007 at 9:53 pm by Evil Beet

1Quote of the Weekend

“She truly insisted that she came with me on tour. I don’t know how to say no to a pretty face. But it wasn’t really a good idea. This time I’m putting the machine before everything else. Jessica met up with me in Manchester, but for Paris I told her categorically no.”

-Justin Timberlake to the “Daily Mirror” when asked about his relationship with Jessica Biel

June 17, 2007 at 8:09 pm by EvilT

116Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Is the Cutest Child Ever

With all due respect to the other babies: you lose. Shiloh is the cutest baby ever.

In NYC with Mommy and Maddox on Saturday.

June 17, 2007 at 2:13 am by Evil Beet

6Is Rosie O’Donnell Going to Host The Price is Right?

Bob Barker, who recently filmed his last episode of the show, is supporting Rosie as an replacement.

“I believe they’re going to have a meeting with Rosie,” said Barker on Friday night. “She knows the show. There’s no doubt in my mind she could do the show. Now, whether they want a lady host, I don’t know. I’ve never heard that discussed. As far as I know, they’ve only auditioned men. She told me she loved ‘The Price Is Right’ and wanted to host it one day.”

I really don’t see how this could work. Instead of “Remember, get your pets spayed and neutered” we’d have “Remember, pull U.S. troops out of Iraq,” and I don’t think that would go over well with the large conservative portion of the show’s fanbase. I would, however, love to see Bob Barker do The View.

June 16, 2007 at 9:43 am by Evil Beet

15Britney Spears Is Giving Head to a Lollipop

I’d title this post “Britney Spears with a Sucker” but I’m saving that title for when she gets back with Kevin Federline.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

June 16, 2007 at 9:35 am by Evil Beet