14Audrina Patridge: Lookin’ Good!

The anti-Heidi parties it up at Hyde last night. I like Audrina; she’s cute and seems down-to-earth, and, when she’s photographed, it’s because she happens to be in the same place as the photogs, not because her boyfriend/manager called to let them know she’d be at the beach in a bikini.

June 27, 2007 at 10:55 am by Evil Beet

2Lindsay Lohan’s Dad (Well, At Least His Publicist) Can’t Spell Her Name

After battling ex-wife Dina Lohan in court to get visitation rights with his children, Michael Lohan issued the following statement:

“I look forward to order being restored to the chaos that our family life has become. Lyndsay, Michael, Ali and Cody need stability and both of their parents in their lives. I am anxious to spend time with them and end this cruel, needless separation.”
— Michael Lohan

For additional info or to speak with Michael contact the following:

Leslie Kellner Taylor
Big Machine Media
575 Lexington Ave.; 4th Floor
New York, NY 10022
Ph: [REDACTED]

This statement has everyone up in arms, because, of course, Lindsay’s name is not spelled “Lyndsay,” and, as her father, he should probably know this.

Look, I’m not about to throw my full support behind Michael “Shoe Assault” Lohan, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the misspelling is the fault of one Leslie Kellner Taylor, who was all too happy to sign her work.

June 27, 2007 at 8:34 am by Evil Beet

2In Love With Trevor…The Freshmaker

Mentos has hired Trevor, a lovely little intern, to do stuff on the web that people suggest all day long. You can log onto Trevor’s website and put something in his schedule for him to do the next day. If you are really bored at work today at 3pm today he will be teaching us the Electric Slide.

The website is kind of addictive and I haven’t figured out what I want him to do yet. Our friends at Dlisted have asked him to do dirty things but I guess he won’t do anything too racy. Darn. He actually did just make out with a giant tube of Mentos.

I’m thinking I want him to do Britney Spears’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time”…the dance and all. That seems fun. He probably does have a musical theatre degree from Northwestern anyway.

Go ask Trevor to do something and let me know when he is doing it. Yes…I have no life.

June 27, 2007 at 6:34 am by EvilT

14Open Letter to Rosie O’Donnell

Dear Rosie,

Children who are conscripted into the armies of the world have no choice. They are drugged up, given weapons and threatened with their lives to fight for causes that they themselves don’t even really understand.

I have a book that you need to read. “A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier.” Hopefully after reading this you will be less flippant about showing pictures of your young child dressed like a child soldier.

Vivian Rose is a beautiful girl and she doesn’t deserve to be used for you to make a point. I don’t know if you have ever known anyone who has fought for this country or if you respect those who join our armed forces to defend America’s freedom but I would hazard a guess that you have not.

I understand that you are against the war in Iraq and the current administration. Being shocking and inflammatory doesn’t get people thinking it rather polarizes people. Protest smart Rosie. I always thought your little blog was amusing until now.

Think before you post and remember you are comedian not a social commentator. Leave that to those with college degrees.

EvilT

June 27, 2007 at 6:07 am by EvilT

15Seriously, Wasn’t There a Time When Aubrey O’Day Wasn’t Frightening to Look at?

Maybe I’m just not remembering this properly, but I feel like when Making the Band wrapped, she was cute and flirty and sexy, not looking methed-out and giving a goddamn tube of lip gloss blue balls.

Honestly, Aubrey, when the folks at the gifting suite are like, “Aubrey, let us get a shot of you using the lip gloss,” it’s okay to respond with, “No, that would look ridiculous.” Just for future reference.

At the Mondrian in L.A.

June 26, 2007 at 4:08 pm by Evil Beet

3Quotables

“Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you.”

- Ingrid Newkirk, President of PETA, to Sicko filmmaker Michael Moore, urging him to lose weight via a vegetarian diet.

June 26, 2007 at 12:43 pm by Evil Beet