Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Where the Hell is Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan at The Cirque Lodge in Sundance Utah?

It’s an age-old question, one that I’m sure has been posed countless times by her frustrated managers, lawyers, PR reps, directors, co-stars and hangers-on. Usually we can answer it by calling any one of the paparazzi agencies in the LA area. “She’s at home,” they’ll say, “we’re out front. Don’t expect her to be awake any time soon.” But these days the question is a little tougher to answer, since she’s been totally off the radar ever since her most recent DUI.

The New York Post is reporting Lindsay is at her mother’s home in Long Island, where she flew on Friday. “She’s doing well,” her mother told the paper.

Meanwhile, the folks at Entertainment Tonight say she’s hanging out at The Cirque Lodge, a popular celeb rehab destination in Sundance, Utah (that’s where Mary-Kate Olsen went to have her “anorexia” treated).

Either way, it appears she’s out of LA, which is probably a really good decision for Lindsay.

Brett Ratner is Refreshingly Candid About Accidentally Having Sex with a Man

Brett Ratner Got Head from a Man

From Page Six:

DIRECTOR Brett Ratner based a scene in “Rush Hour 3″ on a sexual encounter he had with a transvestite. Asked by The Advocate about the sequence “when the girl takes off her wig and Chris Tucker becomes angry and accuses her of being a man,” Ratner responded, “That’s from my personal experience. My first [oral sex] was from a man, but I didn’t know it was a man . . . I’m not homophobic or uptight about it. That happens to a lot of heterosexuals. You meet a girl in a bar, and it turns out she’s not a girl.”

I think this has happened to a lot of guys, but most of them aren’t talking about it in interviews. He probably figured it would be no big deal running in The Advocate, but thankfully Page Six picked it up, so everyone can read about it.

The Vast Majority of Americans Are Lying

This is stupid:

The vast majority of Americans believe there is too much news coverage of celebrity scandals, and most blame the media for the attention paid to the stars’ trials and tribulations, a new survey has found.

Nearly nine out of 10 adults said celebrity scandals receive “too much” news coverage, according to a national survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press. Only 2 percent said the subject receives “too little” coverage, and 8 percent said scandals get the “right amount” of press.

The survey also found that 54 percent of those who say celebrity news coverage is excessive blame news organizations. Around one-third of those surveyed found the public at fault for paying attention and 12 percent said the public and the media both are to blame.

The vast majority of Americans may tell a pollster that they believe there’s too much coverage of celebrity scandals, but if it disgusts you so much, stop following it, people. The vast majority of Americans freaking love this stuff, because it’s awesome, and what’s the alternative? The real news? The real news is depressing or boring or both. You love this stuff, America. Stop lying.

“Listening to Lindsay Lohan Say She’s Sober? Priceless.”

Listening to Lindsay Lohan Say She’s Sober? Priceless.

The folks at Elle had the good sense to schedule an interview with La Lohan just 36 hours before her (first) DUI over Memorial Day Weekend.

“I was glad I went [to rehab],” she says, “because I needed to get away from everyone and I didn’t know how to do that. And I learned a lot there. A bunch of my friends — I was with them last night — they’re in AA for, like, years.”

But this is absolutely my favorite part:

In the Elle interview, Lohan asks her assistant Jenni Munro if she can put “the Mercer story” on the record.

Munro then relates the incident, saying Lohan lied about her sobriety during an interview at Manhattan’s Mercer Hotel. It was unclear when that interview took place.

“I started laughing,” Munro is quoted as saying. “And she says, `Why are you laughing?’ And it’s because I had just texted our friends this very thing: `A cab to the Mercer, 20 dollars; a room at the Mercer, 500 dollars; listening to Lindsay Lohan say she’s sober? Priceless.’”

I don’t get this. First off, why would she be asking her assistant’s permission to tell this story on the record? Secondly, why would she want to tell this story? Do you need it to be absolutely, positively clear in the public’s eye that you have a substance abuse problem, Lindsay? Because we’re eons ahead of you there, kid. I think you’re the one who needs to get some clarity on that.

Matt Damon Kicks Homer Simpson’s Ass

Bourne Ultimatum is Number One at the Box office

D’oh!*

The Bourne Ultimatum knocked The Simpsons movie out of the top box office spot with a vengeance, claiming the biggest August opening of all time ever. The film brought in $70.2M this weekend, far better than either of the previous installments of the series. I guess audiences were just dying for a good action flick this weekend.

“The reviews and audiences rated this one the best one yet,” said the head of distribution for Universal Pictures. “Matt Damon is the new James Bond.”

In third place was Disney’s live-action Underdog, which I had never heard of before reading this film, but then again my interactions with anyone under the age of 25 take place awkwardly, briefly, and usually in supermarkets.

Anne Hathaway’s Becoming Jane only took in $1M, but it was only showing on 100 screens, so that’s an impressive per-screen average. It appears there’s still a market for very, very pale girls at the box office. Take note, Paris Hilton.

*How many people who write this article will open with that same line? Would it be easier to do it by the percentage?