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13Ashlee Simpson Is Totally Preggers

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After Ashlee’s non-denial to MTV News, People magazine is getting in on the action, claiming that the starlet is, in fact, preggo.

They say she’s planning to have the wedding in May, at a friend’s house in La Jolla.

April 16, 2008 at 6:22 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Ashlee Simpson

14Your Daily Paris

Joel and Paris in London, Pictures, Photos

Good Christian girl Paris Hilton may have ditched the extensions, but she’s back to sporting the bright blue contacts, as she hits the town in London once again with future baby-daddy Joel Madden.

Paris Hilton blue contacts

April 15, 2008 at 10:00 pm by Evil Beet

16Eva Amurri Sees a Ghost

Eva Amurri and Evan Rachel Wood at Screening of “The Life Before Her Eyes”, Pictures, Photos

You know, when Susan Saranden’s daughter, Eva Amurri, first started out, I thought she was way awkward and unattractive, but she’s really grown into a striking young women. And she looks great in that dress.

Evan Rachel Wood, on the other hand, needs to understand that Goth was over before she hit puberty. You can bang Marilyn Manson all you want, sweetheart, but you’re not gonna bring it back.

April 15, 2008 at 9:49 pm by Evil Beet

19Everyone’s in on This Paris/Benji Prank

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I refuse to believe this is real. I simply refuse.

But now even the Hilton parents are playing along.

Yes, we’re back to Robin Leach’s blog, which you really must check out. It’s a true paragon of Internet design work. And by that I mean he has not done a thing to change the default WordPress theme. Sexy! Seriously, like, if my grandfather decided to create a blog, it would have more bells and whistles than Robin Leach’s. In fact, my grandfather is probably younger than Robin Leach. Okay, look: if my five-year-old cousin decided to create a blog, she’d do a better job at the design than Robin Leach.

But I digress.

“He’s the perfect example of ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’,” says Papa Rick Hilton. “He’s polite, well-mannered—even calls me sir! We love him like family already. Benji doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and is a healthy vegan!”

Says Kathy: “He’s changed her life—and I really think she’s genuinely in love for the first time. He’s so good to her and for her. We couldn’t be happier for them. This has honestly become the real thing … Since they’ve been together Paris has changed so much. She’s calmed, stopped running and now has a very real purpose—and it’s beautiful to see two wonderful people so perfect together. It’s a great love match and I have a funny feeling it’s going to go all the way and we’ve already given it our approval!”

Jesus Christ, this can’t be for real. If Paris Fucking Hilton can find true love and I’m still single, I’m just going to adopt eight more cats and give the fuck up on romance. The universe hates me.

April 15, 2008 at 5:21 pm by Evil Beet

5Hating on Scientology is Fun for Everyone!

Okay, part of me feels kind of bad whenever I make fun of Scientology. Because, like, it is a religion, and we do support religious freedom in this country, and I’m all about that, and if I ran a video like this about, say, Mormonism, I’d hear no end of shit about it, but for some reason most people seem to be a-okay with hating on Scientology. I think it’s just that any religion involving a character called “Xenu” is just begging to be picked on.

Here’s actor Jason Beghe — who’s had small roles and guest spots in a trillion TV shows and movies dating back to the mid-80s — spewing off about how much he hates Scientology. This is after he was an active Scientologist for many years. I can’t understand most of what he’s saying — it’s all in Scientology terms — but I know he’s probably not a big fan of the religion anymore. The cussing gives that away.

April 15, 2008 at 2:37 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jason Beghe

5Tobey & Jen Prepare for Baby #2

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Is it just me or are there a ridiculous amount of celebrity pregnancies right now? There’s either something in the air or the price of condoms has gone up.

Congrats to Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer, who are reportedly expecting their second child in October.

Says a pal: “Since they already have a daughter, they would love a little boy, but of course they would be just as thrilled with another daughter.”

According to the friend, Jen and Tobey plan to have at least three children, and are currently building a mansion in Brentwood to house them all. The lot alone cost $10M!!!! Of course, Tobey has all that crazy Spiderman money, but keep in mind that Jen is the daughter of Ron Meyer, President and CEO of Universal, so she’s not exactly hurting for cash, either. In fact, she may well be worth more than Tobey!

Congrats, you crazy rich kids!

April 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm by Evil Beet