Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay’s Bodyguard: Blame it on Her Parents

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La Lohan’s former bodyguard of three years decided to speak out to In Touch magazine about Lindsay’s troubled childhood. “From a young age, she dealt with her father’s physical, emotional and drug abuses as well as her mother’s drinking.” He claims that her parents viewed Lindsay as their “cash cow,” and let her get away with anything to keep the money coming in.

When Lindsay was 16, says the bodyguard, her father flew into a rage while driving and “slammed on the brakes and dragged her out of the car, pushed her up against the hood, screamed at her and called her a slut. This was on the Long Island Expressway! I got in the middle of it and pulled him off.”

Meanwhile, Dina “let her do whatever she wanted, just to keep her happy and working . . . [At her 16th birthday party] Lindsay drank whatever she wanted – I saw her drinking beer and mixed drinks with my own eyes [without Dina's intervention].”

“Lindsay was the family cash cow – and she resented it,” he says. “They counted on her to pay their bills . . . I saw Lindsay exhausted, begging her mother for some time off.”

When Lindsay was 15, her folks allowed her to share a hotel room with her then-14-year-old boyfriend, Aaron Carter. “They knew Lindsay was sleeping in Aaron’s room. But they seemed happy she had chosen somebody who could benefit her singing career.”

The ex-bodyguard also claims Lindsay cried out for help for years by cutting herself and threatening suicide.

This is all well and good, but Lindsay’s 21 now, and she can make her own decisions. Yeah, it sounds like she didn’t have the best parents ever (we already knew that — when your father goes to jail for assaulting somebody with a shoe, there’s probably some dysfunction there), but lots of people don’t have the best parents ever, and they don’t end up with two DUIs in the span of a couple months. Time to get your act together, Lindsay.

Blind Item

WHICH very eligible divorced man has his friends in a quandary now that he’s engaged to get married again? The friends are afraid to tell him his fiancée is a gold digger who’s still seeing her broke boyfriend on the side while waiting for her wedding day.

Jennifer Lopez Makes Her First Husband Her Bitch

Jennifer Lopez Prevents Ex-Husband Ojani Noa From Releasing Tell-All Book

This is so awesome. JLo’s pre-superfame hubby, Ojani Noa, was planning to publish a tell-all book accusing Jennifer of having several affairs during their marriage, including one with current husband Marc Anthony. But Jen put the smack-down on him, and now she’s been awarded nearly $545,000 in a lawsuit over the issue. (Only $200,000 of that is in damages — the rest is to cover legal and arbitration fees.) Her lawsuit claimed that Noa had violated a previous lawsuit settlement preventing him from revealing private information about their relationship.

This is my favorite part: the arbitrator also decided that Noa should have a permanent injunction preventing him from “criticizing, denigrating, casting in a negative light or otherwise disparaging or causing disparagement” to Jennifer. This is the coolest thing ever. I don’t know how she got someone to agree to this, but I would like to take all my ex-boyfriends to this arbitrator. Also: my mom, my high-school art teacher and my therapist.

Noa was also directed to give Lopez or her attorney all copies of materials related to the book.

Ooh, Will Vivica Fox Get a SCRAM Bracelet, Too?

Vivica A Fox Ordered to Abstain from Drinking Alcohol Until Arraignment

Vivica A. Fox, who was arrested in late March on two counts of DUI, was ordered by a judge to abstain from drinking alcohol until she is arraigned on DUI charges on Sept. 5.

According to the court, Vivica “can be around it because of the nature of her work, but she cannot consume or possess it.”

If she is convicted on all charges, she faces a maximum of six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Jail is totally the new rehab. Say what you want about Paris Hilton, but that little bitch is a trend-setter in everything she does. This fall is going to be so awesome. Everyone’s going to jail. I bet there are reporters all over LA who are trying to figure out exactly what they want to get arrested for in the coming weeks so that they can spend a few days in Lynwood with the rest of Hollywood. I think National Enquirer already has their bail figured into next month’s budget.

Gina Glocksen’s On-Stage Engagement

Gina Glocksen, the “rocker” chick from American Idol, got engaged to her boyfriend, Joe Ruzicka, on Tuesday at the Rosemont, Illionois stop on the American Idol tour. (That’s still going on? Do people actually go to that?) The couple lives in nearby Naperville, and Joe is a high school science teacher. The engagement was caught on video, and would be really cute if it weren’t for some annoying bitch squealing in the background the whole time.

She’s an Actress Now, Too!

LeAnn Rimes Filming Good Intentions

LeAnn Rimes is making her feature film debut with a small part in 2008′s Good Intentions, which is currently filming outside Atlanta. Her husband, dancer Dean Sheremet — to whom she’s been married since 2002 — was on-set with her, looking very important with headphones and all, although IMDB doesn’t credit him in any way on the film. I’m sure the producers just love having him hang out on set all day.

LeAnn Rimes and Husband Dean Sheremet Filming Good Intentions LeAnn Rimes Filming Good Intentions LeAnn Rimes Filming Good Intentions LeAnn Rimes Filming Good Intentions