Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oooh!!! Let’s Make the olly Girls Famous!!!

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Of all the people in Hollywood who have done absolutely nothing to be famous, I think these two take the crown. But they’re so dead-set on being celebrities, and you have to give them credit for their determination.

If you’ve never heard of them, it’s because you’re not a huge Sunset Tan addict/loser like me. The two were “hired” (read: “cast”) by the owners of Sunset Tan to be totally useless, adorable and hilarious.

They’re Holly Huddleston and Molly Shea (great porn names, incidentally), but they’re referred to collectively on the show as “The olly Girls.” They come off as ditzes, but I have this sneaking suspicion that Molly (the one in the red) is secretly kind of smart. Holly’s just flat-out retarded.

Nicole Kidman: “Can We Talk About Me Now?”

Nicole Kidman Reveals She Miscarried Tom’s Baby

Nicole Kidman is really tired of hearing all of this Suri shit. In an upcoming interview with Vanity Fair, Tom Cruise’s ex reveals that she miscarried his baby at the age of 23. The couple later adopted two children.

Now 40, and married to country singer Keith Urban — who recently did a stint in rehab — Kidman hasn’t given up on her dreams of motherhood.

“I’m yearning to have one. I think I would be very sad if I wasn’t able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly.”

God, that must make those adopted kids feel so awesome about themselves. Yay, Mommy adopted me when she couldn’t have kids biologically! And she thought there was some chance that I might be good enough! But I totally wasn’t!

Kidman also spoke about feeling lonely after she won her Best Actress Oscar for The Hours.

“You’re in a hotel and you’re like, ‘Okay, well, I’m sitting in this big suite with an Oscar and I still don’t have a life – what is wrong with me? Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with?’ That was painful, not having that person to share it with.”

But Nicole’s not yet done dropping bombs — she also reveals to the magazine that she was engaged to someone between Tom and Keith. How did we miss that?? Damn you, Nicole! You’re not supposed to hide stuff from us.

“I got engaged to somebody … but it just wasn’t right. I wasn’t ready. We weren’t ready.”

Who was that somebody? Lenny Kravitz, perhaps? Hmmm.

Apparently Even Extended Members of the Lohan Family Send Emails to Page Six

What is it with these people? Can we just put them all on Jerry Springer and be done with it? (Are they even still filming Jerry Springer? God I hope so.)

The latest in a long line of Lohans to air their dirty laundry to the media is Dina Lohan’s boyfriend, Jim McMillan, who penned a scathing missive that ended up in the hands of Page Six. McMillan was responding to the allegations Michael Lohan made about Dina, accusing her of being a drug and alcohol abuser, and about Jim, claiming he was not safe to have around the children.

“First and foremost, I am a gentleman. I have never been inebriated in front of [the children] or said anything about a man I know nothing about. I did decide to learn about Michael Lohan and did a quick background check. The following is public record, fact and irrefutable: On 10/13/84, you struck, choked and kicked Susan L. Hubbard of Ohio, causing fractured facial bones.

In [New York], there are 10 arrest records found for securities fraud, DWI, assault, grand larceny . . . Dina has never been arrested or charged with anything.

Upon getting out of jail, you hire a publicist and start a smear campaign against your children’s mom. You take a photo of her holding a water bottle at your daughter’s premiere, and you call her a party mom. You . . . accuse her of being an alcoholic, a drug user, an unfit mom and a philanderer.

You do it in a very public way and force them to deal with the fallout. If you want to assassinate someone’s character, leave Dina alone. She is way out of your league. She is a classy, intelligent, loving mom . . .”

You people are the very definition of class. I can’t understand at all why Lindsay is the way she is.

SOBER!

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Ever careful not to be photographed with alcohol, B Spears hits up the Las Vegas opening of LAX. (The club, not the airport.)

Yeah, homegirl looks dry as a bone.

With Criss Angel in tow.

Nicky Hilton showed up, too.

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Kate Walsh and Giuliana DePandi Get Married

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No, not to each other.

Kate Walsh married that film exec at Fox who she got engaged to five minutes ago after the two dated for ten minutes. I give this marriage a few months. The two got hitched in Ojai, with Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr., Justin Chambers and Shonda Rhimes in attendance. If you can believe it, Isaiah Washington missed the festivities.

Giuliana DePandi got hitched to Bill Rancic, the first winner of The Apprentice. The two got engaged late last year, much to my chagrin. The wedding took place on the Italian island of Capri, with about 200 friends and family present.