Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Tracy Morgan Doesn’t Think Jimmy Fallon is Cute

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And neither do I, after his recent decision to marry Fat-Arms.

Morgan — who managed to score two DUIs last year — told the October issue of Penthouse that he and his SNL castmates were bothered by Fallon’s “laughing and all that dumb shit he used to do. He wouldn’t mess with me because I didn’t fucking play that shit. That’s taking all the attention off of everybody else and putting it on you, like, ‘Oh, look at me, I’m the cute one.’ I told him not to do that shit in my sketches, so he never did.”

I like how Tracy assumes that Fallon didn’t laugh during his sketches because of his stern talking-to. I don’t think anyone ever laughed during Tracy Morgan’s SNL sketches, especially the audience.

Everyone’s Ditching Britney

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Her lawyer jumped ship yesterday. And now her manager — who’s only been with Brit a couple of months — decided to go his own way, too.

Jeff Kwatinetz of The Firm — who repped Kelly Clarkson before she fired him — released the following statement:

“It saddens us to confirm media reports that we have terminated our professional relationship with Britney Spears. We believe Britney is enormously talented, and has made a terrific record. But current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job. We wish Britney the best.”

Dude, everyone knows the album is going to be a trainwreck, and they want to be as far away from the explosion as possible.

Someone’s Had a Little Bit to Drink

Hayley Duff Leaves Les Deux

Hayley Duff and her very pleasant entourage leave Les Deux over the weekend.

Look, a memo to all the non-famous girls who hang out with famous girls and like to pretend to hate the paparazzi: stop. You’re not famous, no one’s taking your photograph, and if you’d like to not be in the photograph, just move five feet to the right and no one will get a picture of you. You know why? Because no one cares about you. Because you’re not important. So stop acting like you are.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Mary-Louise Parker Adopts a Baby from Africa

Mary-Louise Parker Adopts Baby Girl from Africa

Yup, someone else has jumped on the Angelina bandwagon.

Emmy-nominated M-L P picked up a baby girl from the faraway land, and she was spotted with the new tot on her way to the big event this weekend. Her reps confirmed the adoption, but declined to provide any more info.

Okay, did anyone see the interview she did on the red carpet with Giuliana? What the hell was going on there? She was such an annoying bitch. Giuliana handled it really well, but still.

Britney to Lose Custody of Her Kids????

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From FOX News:

Britney Spears will temporarily lose custody of her two toddler sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline, sources told FOXNews.com ahead of the official ruling expected later Monday.

Commissioner Scott Gordon will order the boys, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James, turned over to Federline based on information that Los Angeles Family Court received over the weekend about Spears, the sources told FOXNews.com.

During Monday’s custody hearing, Spears’ former bodyguard accused the pop star of having “issues of nudity and drug use” since she returned from rehab, and reports of a planned “hit” on Federline emerged.

The ruling is expected to be handed down today.

Get thee to a rehabery, Britney!!!!

And a note to the fabulous people spreading the rumors that I got into a screaming match with one of Kevin’s BFFs in LA regarding some shit I’d written on this blog — it didn’t happen. I’ve known her for years and we had a very pleasant chat about Kevin. She asked me not to say mean things about him, I told her I hadn’t done that recently but couldn’t make any promises, and that was that.

(BTW, sorry for no posts yesterday. I planned to post in the evening, but unfortunately I fell right asleep. I have now slept for 13 hours, and I believe I have recovered from my week back in LA.)