Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What. The. Fuck? Ashley Olsen and LANCE ARMSTRONG?

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong

This item is going to make my head explode.

Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch’s ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.” Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, “He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn’t deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up.” Olsen’s rep didn’t return calls.

Forget Tory Burch! What the hell does Sheryl Crow think about about this???

This is just wrong.

Roberto Cavalli Spills the Beans for JLo

jlo.jpg

Jennifer Lopez — who’s currently battling Christina Aguilera for the title of Worst-Kept Pregnancy Secret — won’t be pleased with designer Roberto Cavalli, responded with this when People magazine asked what types of clothes he designs for celebs:

“Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger.”

Ooooooooooops!

Victoria Silvestedt Needs More Blush Like She Needs That Final T in Her Name

Victoria Silvestedt at 2007 Cipriani Wall Street Concert Series Presents Lenny Kravitz, Pictures, Photos

Hey, Victoria, where are your cheeks?

I still can’t see them!

Can you just point them out to me? They’re not really, ya know, delineated. Maybe if you put something on them? Like bright pink powder. Real heavy. All over the entire side of your face. Maybe then I could figure out where your cheeks were.

Oh, that’s better. I can see them.

Okay, I’m going to start hunting for your lips now.

Angelina Jolie Should Eat

Angelina Jolie at International Women’s Media Foundation’s Courage in Journalism awards, Pictures, Photos

The remains of Mrs. Brad Pitt showed up at the International Women’s Media Foundation’s Courage in Journalism awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

Angie, honey, I promise you can sufficiently appreciate the plight of the starving Africans without actually emulating their lifestyle.

Eat, dear.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeegggggggg!!!!

Meg Ryan at  IWMF Courage in Journalism Awards, Pictures, Photos

We do not see enough of Meg Ryan.

How adorable is she?

I love love LOVE the long hair. She looks GREAT!

I remember in middle school someone told me that if you want to know if you should date a guy, you ask him if he’d rather date Drew Barrymore or Meg Ryan. If he says Meg Ryan, he’s a keeper. If he says Drew Barrymore, ditch him. Shows you how long ago my ass went to middle school. That was when Drew Barrymore was still all strung out and flashing Dave Letterman, and Meg Ryan hadn’t yet ran away from her husband and into Russell Crowe’s arms. But that always stuck with me. Good guys like Meg Ryan.

Anyway. She’s still so cute!

At the International Women’s Media Foundation Courage in Journalism awards.