Today's Evil Beet Gossip

A Vegas Evening (Or: Why Posting Will Be Nonexistent Tomorrow Morning)

Evil Beet Pictures Photos

I am having an absolute blast at the Blog World Expo!

After spending the day in classes, the convention threw a pajama party for us tonight at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino (because, you know, bloggers spend their days sitting on couches in pajamas — I think the goal was to poke fun at this “myth,” but for me, it’s actually pretty true). I wore cowboy boot slippers (thanks Stacie!), and then spent the rest of the night playing 3-card poker with the fabulous Whitney Matheson from PopCandy, the hilarious Rachel Hurley from Rachel and the City and Laremy “I’m Going Back to the ATM” Legel from Film.com. Also, I met the guy who thought up SubservientChicken.com, so I can die happy now.

I’ll post photos of our pajama-and-poker evening when I get back to LA. And once I get approval from everyone when they’re sober. ;)

Rachel and Whitney taught me about the wonders of Twitter — I briefly hijacked Rachel’s phone and took over her Twitter (“Can I grab your twitter box” is now my favorite thing to say to someone), and you can see my updates on her blog — so I set up an Evil Beet account so I can Twitter to you guys when I’m not at my computer.

Anyway, here’s the point of this post: I had fun, I’m exhausted, and I’m not getting up at 6 a.m. to figure out what Paris Hilton did last night. Sorry. There’ll be updates later in the day.

xoxo,
Beet

Court to Britney: So Can We Get Your Number?

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Look, Britney, I know you know you’re hot, girl. I know you get all sorts of dudes comin’ up in here tryin’ to get your number, baby. And I know you like fuckin’ with ‘em, givin’ ‘em all sorts of digits that ain’t real. But I’m different from those dudes. You gotta believe me, girl. I’m not like all those losers. And I’ll tell you why, baby.

I’m a Superior Court of the State of California.

The court today strictly reminded Britney that she had to give them a single number on which she could be called in for random drug testing, after K-Fed dragged her ass to court again for failing to respond to the drug testing calls.

“There needs to be one number that the testing facility calls that she responds to,” ruled the Commissioner. He did not make any changes to the existing custody agreement.

Mickey Rourke Arrested for DUI!!!

Mickey Rourke Mug Shot, Arrested on DUI in Miami Beach

On a scooter!!! Here’s the best part: since he’s a total Z-lister, you probably never would have heard this story if he hadn’t been being a drunken jackass in such close proximity to Jennifer Lopez. The photog who got the scoop and the pics was actually on the street looking for JLo when Mickey went and got his ass arrested.

Page Two lensman Fred Montana said he was looking for preggers glamour girl Jennifer Lopez at about 2 a.m. when he bumped into Rourke walking into the nightclub Mansion with an unidentified hottie.

“They came back out two hours later and crossed Washington Avenue to go to his scooter,” Montana said. “They both got on it, and he did a U-turn to go north. He was pulled over within a block.

“The cop says to him: ‘You swerved right in front of me.’ And Mickey answered: ‘No, no, dude, I’m all right.’”

Actually, according to the arrest report, Rourke also let out a four-letter bomb when he was stopped. Cops say the actor had a flushed face and bloodshot and watery eyes and that his speech was slurred.

“I’m not drunk, I didn’t even drink that much,” Rourke said, according to the report.

Rourke allegedly failed field-sobriety tests before being taken to headquarters for a breath test.

“He could not do the walk in a straight line,” Montana said.

Please, God, Let This Quote Be Real

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According to the admittedly questionable sources over at the Daily Star, Paris Hilton wants to help the drunken elephants in India. She was very sad to hear that 40 drunken elephants ran into an electric pole in India, and six of them were electrocuted and died.

Here’s what she supposedly had to say about it:

“There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn’t chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad. The biggest problems are in Assam and Meghalaya. The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.”

In fairness, this is probably totally made up, but all I want for Christmas this year is the audio of Paris Hilton speaking these words. Please, God? If you give me that, I promise I’ll stop publicly encouraging Lindsay Lohan to drink again. Deal?