Today's Evil Beet Gossip

SmackDown!

linda_hulk1.jpg

Hulk Hogan’s wife Linda is asking for half their assets in the couple’s divorce.

Linda is seeking to split the couple’s assets, which include the 17,000-square-foot Bel Air mansion where the family primarily lives and a 3,474-square-foot home in Clearwater Beach, Fla., as well as a condo under construction in Las Vegas. The two existing homes alone are worth nearly $9.5 million, the petition says.

Linda also hopes the couple can share custody of 17-year-old son Nick, but custody of Nick may go the State of Florida soon enough. Brooke’s 19, so she’s not an issue here.

Nick Bollea 911 Tape!

The 911 tape from Nick Bollea (Hogan)’s crash in August has been released.

You can listen here.

TampaBay.com is streaming it right now, and I think their server is really overloaded, so if you can’t listen to it now, try back later.

Who Isn’t Tony Romo Fucking?

Tony Romo Jessica Simpson

Seriously, I felt something rubbing on my leg at like 3 am last night and woke up screaming, “Stop it, Tony Romo!”

My cat just stared at me.

But seriously this dude is just having sex with everything in the Los Angeles area.

Up now: Jessica Simpson, with whom he spent Thanksgiving in Texas. InTouch is reporting that he’s her boyfriend, but somehow I doubt that. I don’t think he’s anyone’s boyfriend. I think he’s just trying to have sex with more celebrities than Matt Leinart. I think that’s his goal.

Beauty Queen DRAMA! Miss Puerto Rico’s Dress Sprayed with Pepper Spray!

Ingrid Marie Rivera Miss Puerto Rico Picture

I loooooooooove this kind of shit so much.

Someone put pepper spray in Ingrid Marie Rivera, a Miss Puerto Rico contestant’s, dress and make-up, causing her to break out in hives!

Pageant organizers said they hope to catch and expose whoever was responsible for dousing Rivera’s evening gowns with pepper spray and spiking her makeup, causing her to break out in hives.

Police said Monday they have also opened an investigation into the attacks on the beauty queen.

Rivera was composed while appearing before cameras and judges throughout the competition. But once backstage, she had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which swelled and broke out in hives twice.

“We thought at first it was an allergic reaction, or maybe nerves,” said pageant spokesman Harold Rosario. “But the second time, we knew it couldn’t have been a coincidence.”

Rivera’s clothing and makeup later tested positive for pepper spray.

You know the best part??

SHE WON ANYWAY!!!!

Rock on, Miss Puerto Rico!!!

Quotables

Stephen King Britney Spears is Trailer Trash

And the guy says to me — the Nightline guy — I didn’t get the guy’s name. Granted, I haven’t been feeling real well and it was a long day of interviews. But he said to me, “If we didn’t cover cultural things, we wouldn’t be covering you and The Mist, and promoting the movie.” And I’m like, “Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan aren’t cultural.” They aren’t political. They’re economic only in the mildest sense of the word. In fact, if I had to pick somebody, some celebrity who has had some impact this year, some sort of echo in the larger American life, I would say Hannah Montana. That whole issue of online ticket sales and scalping fascinates me. There are [legitimate] issues there about the Internet, so that actually does seem to have some cultural significance. But Britney? Britney Spears is just trailer trash. That’s all. I mean, I don’t mean to be pejorative. But you observe her behavior for the past five years and you say, “Here’s a lady who can’t take care of her kids, she can’t take care of herself, she has no retirement fund, everything that she gets runs right through her hands.” And yet, you know and I know that if you go to those sites that tell you what the most blogged-about things on the Internet are, it’s Britney, it’s Lindsay. So I think it would be terrific [to have them as TIME Persons of the Year]. There would be such a scream from the American reading public, sure. But at the same time, it’s time for somebody to discuss the difference between real news and fake news.”

Total hottie Stephen King, to Time magazine.

Everyone’s Dead! Quiet Riot Lead Singer Passes Away!

Kevin DuBrow from Quiet Riot Found Dead in Las Vegas Home

Not everyone handles the holidays particularly well.

Quiet Riot lead singer, Kevin DuBrow, was found dead Sunday in his Las Vegas home. He was 52.

Quiet Riot bassist Kelly Garni and the band’s current label, Chavis Records, confirmed the news.

On a Web site honoring the memory of Quiet Riot founding member Randy Rhoads, Garni urged fans to be patient until the details of DuBrow’s death become clear.

“I ask that no one here offer any speculation or opinions, theories or other things that could be construed as negative or, and I’m sorry for this, even sympathetic, right at this immediate time,” Garni wrote. “I will explain to everyone here the facts and the truth in the next 24 to 48 hours as I realize this will affect us all.”

“The facts and the truth.” How mysterious is that??? I’m intrigued.

Hogans Have Been on the Outs for Awhile

brooke.jpg

If you’re anything like me, you spent most of the holiday weekend pacing your room and wondering what on earth could possibly have gone wrong with Hulk Hogan’s marriage. A pro wrestler? His same-age wife? Their fucking retarded son who basically just killed a man and will probably serve some hard time for it? Their failed-singer daughter? Her pants? How could this perfect union possibly fail?

Apparently, folks, we were the last to know.

According to a TMZ source, the couple have been separated for some time now. In fact, portions of the last season of Hogan Knows Best were filmed while the couple was separated. This was a source of problems for production, because they had to play nice while filming scenes together. You don’t say?

The show has not been picked up for next season, which is very sad, because their lives were finally starting to get interesting.

Oh, and I’ve chosen to run a new picture of Brooke Hogan here instead of one of Hulk and Linda, because her slutty ass is way more interesting.