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10Bling Bling!

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Here are the first shots of the maybe-preggers Ashlee Simpson rocking the engagement ring she got from Pete Wentz.

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m gonna expect when I get engaged. Which’ll be never.

Ashlee Simpson Engagement Ring

April 17, 2008 at 9:46 am by Evil Beet

44Would You Wear This Shirt?

Princess Diana T-shirt “She’s Dead Get Over It”

It’s been on sale for a week, and it’s causing quite the controversy.

Personally, I think it’s ridiculous and unnecessary. And this is coming from someone who calls herself the Evil Beet.

I mean, a few months after Titanic came out, this girl came to school wearing a shirt that said “The Ship Sunk. Get Over It.” And it was pretty much the funniest thing in the world.

This? Is not funny.

But it’s on sale for $49.95. Jesus! That’s a lot of money for a fucking t-shirt that isn’t even very witty.

I went to Target today to buy an alarm clock and, in typical Target style, left $330 later. It happens every time I go to Target. I need to start including “Target disaster” in my monthly budget. But, like, for $330, I left with like five bags full of shit. I got three dresses, two “sleepwear gowns” that I plan to wear as normal dresses, three pairs of shorts, a sweater, six polo shirts, two tank tops, a laundry bag, two pairs of underwear, a pair of shoes, scissors, eyebrow tweezers, pens, two notebooks, a blow-dryer, 18 clothes hangers and — you guessed it — an alarm clock.

And you’re telling me to spend $49.95 on your stupid t-shirt???

I think not.

April 16, 2008 at 10:41 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

13Sober!

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Courtney Love moved to London, but it looks like she failed to move back on the wagon.

Here’s Court leaving the Groucho club in London with Neil Fielding.

You just keep at it, sweetheart.

April 16, 2008 at 9:54 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Courtney Love

30Who Wore It Worse?

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So, Mary-Kate Olsen and Leighton Meester chatted on the phone the night before the New Yorkers for Children charity ball, and Leighton was all like, “I bet I can look more ridiculous than you by putting my small, bra-less tits into a shapeless dress,” and Mary-Kate was all like, “I’ll take that bet, bitch.”

Who won?

You decide.

April 16, 2008 at 9:10 pm by Evil Beet

8Gwyneth Paltrow Manages to Be Annoying Even in Her Post-Partum Depression

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OMG. This chick is soooo annoying.

I understand that post-partum depression is a very real and serious illness that affects women of all walks of life. I understand the importance of both diagnosing and treating it.

What I don’t understand is why Gwyneth Paltrow thinks her post-partum depression, with second child Moses, was the result of “scaling back on her usual pre-baby treatments like acupuncture.”

Sigh.

We’ve finally isolated the root of post-partum depression!

NOT ENOUGH ACUPUNCTURE!!!

So if you’re one of those poor, tragic souls who can’t afford regular acupuncture treatment while simultaneously juggling the costs of pre-natal check-ups, sonograms, diapers, cribs, toys, baby food and your pre-existing children, you’re pretty much fucked. Sorry.

April 16, 2008 at 9:03 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

18Photo Shoots Are Really Crucial to Suing Rob Lowe

Jessica Gibson People Photo Shoot, Pictures

Here the nanny suing Rob Lowe and his wife for sexual harrassment, Jessica Gibson, in an “exclusive photo shoot” for People magazine.

Really?

I mean, really?

Jesus, she’s only suing him for $50,000. And not that that’s not a significant amount of money, but it’s not like this bitch is single-handedly taking on Big Tobacco. I mean, who the hell has ever had a nanny job without the husband trying to get in her pants? This is the reason male nannies were invented. Didn’t anyone else watch Party of Five?

I can’t believe she’s doing exclusive photo shoots. Ridiculous.

Seriously, I used to date the host of a popular Nickelodeon kids show. On and off for years. And I have text messages, photos and emails that would ruin quite a few childhood memories. They were obnoxious. And sometimes I’m like, “You know, I could probably make some money and get a little attention if I sold these.” And then I’m like, “Nah, that’s a totally dumbass thing to do.” Because even when he was doing this obnoxious stuff, I was still dating him. Just like this chick kept showing up at work every day.

Photo shoots. Shit. I hope she winds up owing him money.

April 16, 2008 at 8:45 pm by Evil Beet