Bitch canceled the rest of her tour. She just can’t handle it, she says, with her hubby in the slammer.
“I can’t give it my all onstage without my Blake. I’m so sorry but I don’t want to do the shows half-heartedly. I love singing. My husband is everything to me and without him it’s just not the same.”
Maybe it’s just not the same to you, but it’s the same to your fans, bitch. You have an obligation to them.
Amy, this has nothing to do with Blake. It has to do with your addiction. You’ve been high as a kite at your past few shows, almost incoherent. You cannot stay sober for a goddamn second with all this stress in your life. That’s the problem.
Go to rehab, bitch.
So last night started out like any other night. We were cooking BBQ in my friend’s backyard, the boys were watching football, I was coughing violently and persistently (I am very sick today, kids, so consider it an expression of my love for you that I am conscious and writing), and we were generally acting like very cool people.
And then my friend starts talking on one of those wireless Bluetooth headsets and the other guys are like, “Oh, man, he’s gone over to the dark side.”
And I mention that with that piece in his ear he looks like those Star Trek aliens that are all like “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated,” and I’m like, “What was the name of those aliens???” And no one can remember, but my friend with the earpiece is like, “I never watched the ones with Captain Picard. He’s really more of a politician than a leader.”
And I’m like, “What the fuck? How can you say that about Picard? He is the ultimate leader.”
And he’s like, “No, Kirk was a leader,” and I’m like, “Um, no, Kirk was a pussy.”
And this continues for some time until we have to abandon the notion that we are, in any way, the cool kids.
I love me some Jean-Luc.
At the Evening Standard Theatre Awards in London.
Things looked hopeful last night, but Washington Redskins defensive back Sean Taylor did not make it through to morning.
He passed away early Tuesday morning.
He was shot in the groin in his home early Monday morning. The blood loss proved to be too severe, it seems.
I’m sure details will trickle out in time.
“Please respect my family’s privacy at this time with all that we have been through. I care for my wife and my children are my world and I just hope this all works out.”
Works out how? Is Hulkie hoping for a reconciliation???
No statement from Camp Linda yet. Except, ya know, the divorce filing.
Strange things are afoot over at ANTM.
Twiggy will not be appearing as a judge on the upcoming cycle 10. Instead, Paulina Porizkova will take her place as the resident washed-up-model-who-makes-Tyra-Banks’-career-look-particularly-stunning-in-comparison. From the press release:
â€œWe are thrilled to have Paulina as a part of this cycleâ€™s judging panel. The show and participants will benefit a great deal from her vast modeling knowledge and expertise,â€ said Ken Mok, Executive Producer of AMERICAâ€™S NEXT TOP MODEL.
Twiggy, who has been a part of AMERICAâ€™S NEXT TOP MODEL since cycle 5 is leaving due to scheduling conflicts. â€œWe would like to thank Twiggy for her great contributions to the show. Having an icon like Twiggy lend us her considerable expertise has elevated our show to a whole new level. We wish her well in her endeavors and hope to collaborate with her in future cycles of ANTM as well as other projects.â€
Word on the street is Twigster didn’t want to be based in NYC, where cycle 10 will be filmed.
By the way, to check out the bottom portion of this picture — and some old-school Paulina Porizkova nip — jump in.
I mean, the hat?
It’s not a cowboy hat.
It’s not even really a top hat.
What type of hat is it, then?
It is the wrong hat. It is the wrong hat, Chris.
With his wife at a screening of The Savages.
Meet Valentina Pinault, two months old.
I love this kid already.
Check out the expression on her face. She’s all like, “What’s up, motherfuckers? Ready for me to turn 18 or what?”
Love it love it love it.