I feel a little confident with this blind item, you guys. I know, usually I’m real bad at these, but this one is about Saturday Night Live, and I know me some Saturday Night Live. Ready? Here’s our item:
Which closeted former “SNL” star is getting a bad reputation at spas and gyms around Hollywood for his illegal sexual activities? The once-married actor has been caught pleasuring himself in front of other male patrons, and it’s just a matter of time before he’s publicly exposed!
Chris Kattan, right? It’s got to be him – remember that time he married his girlfriend and they got separated eight weeks later? Homosexual tendencies, everybody. I’m pretty sure it’s hard to make it through a hetero marriage when you have those.
Some people are also saying Eddie Murphy: he was married twice, but the second one wasn’t legal. I’m not so sure about this one. He has children with four different ladies (one of which is a Spice Girl), which seems a little off for a gay dude, right?
Staris reporting that Jennifer wants to marry Justin before 2012 in a small, private ceremony in Mexico. Sources are saying that Jen “feels there’s no reason to wait” and that “she’s never felt more comfortable nor felt she had so much in common with a man as she does with Justin.” And what would the hottest woman of the decade wear to such an event? A “short off-white” or “pastel” dress, natch!
Well, we’ll see, I suppose. I honestly think that after all this time, Jennifer has a pretty solid idea out of what she wants out of a relationship, but what’s the rush? Wouldn’t it be more fun to savor all the stages of a relationship than to jump ahead so far?