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14Your Daily Paris

I guess she’s back in LA now.

After her whirlwind international tour with Benji Madden, Paris Hilton was spotted outside a tanning salon in LA on Monday.

She certainly looks very glisten-y.

And I hate myself for saying this, but I love her jacket. I want it. Except it probably costs more than a year of college tuition. Anyone know who makes it? I could try to cut back on the crack habit for a few days and save up.

April 21, 2008 at 9:46 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

21Eva Mendes’ Dress: Love It or Leave It?

Eva Mendes at La Fille Du Regiment Opera, Pictures, Photos

I guess when you decide to quit drinking, you have to resort to evening activities like going to the opera. I don’t think I’ve ever been to an opera in my life. I saw Phantom of the Opera once. Does that count? They talk in English in that one, though. I don’t even like watching movies with subtitles. I doubt I’d fare well at the opera. I’m a cultureless brute.

Here’s Eva at the Metropolitan Opera’s opening night of La Fille Du Regiment.

What do we think of the dress?

April 21, 2008 at 9:38 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

22Ali Lohan To Eventually Become Cocaine Addict Make Feature Film Debut

Congrats to 14-year-old Ali Lohan, who has begun filming her first movie role in Los Angeles. The film is called Mostly Ghostly, and is based on the series of R.L. Stine books of the same name.

Ali will play a popular high-school senior. Which is fine, because, these days, she looks to be about 26. Much like Lindsay, who looks to be around 48. I think the Lohans age in dog years.

How long before Ali ends up knocked up by Brody Jenner? I give it a couple of years.

April 21, 2008 at 7:57 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

4Our President Does Something Helpful

It’s a first! And probably a last!

Here’s President Bush, doing his very best impression of supporting the troops, on Deal or No Deal.

April 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

26Oh God. It’s Happening. The Scarlett Johansson Album of Tom Wait Covers is Actually Fucking Happening.

The first single off the album, called “Falling Down,” is streaming on AOL.

Listen to it here

Um, I don’t really know who Tom Waits is, but this sounds like something you’d find on the old masters of a Sarah McLachlan recording session back in 1992.

It’s not, like, super bad or anything. I mean, it’s still a hundred times better than anything Heidi Montag’s come up with. But, Jesus, it’s so, so strange.

Did I mention I can’t believe this is actually fucking happening?

So, so weird.

And, yeah, this is a photo of Scarlett from 1996. Because I accidentally had my WireImage account set up to display search results in ascending chronological order, and so when I was looking for a good photo of Scarlett to use for this post, this photo was the first to show up. And I was like, “So, Scarlett, you wanna be really fucking weird for no good reason? Well. Two can play at that game.”

April 21, 2008 at 2:49 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Scarlett Johansson

30Trying to Work Up the Nerve to Kill Yourself?

I know the feeling.

It’s like, “Damn, life isn’t worth living. Shit never gets any better. I’m tired of fighting. I’m just done.” And you try to figure out how you’re going to off yourself, but everything you come up with sounds either too painful, too scary, too disgusting, or too likely to fail. You need that final push of courage to go through with it. That final straw. That kick in the balls, that thing that cements in your mind, once and for all, that this world will never be a safe place for you.

I’ve found it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the latest YouTube episode of the Miley and Mandy Show.

April 21, 2008 at 12:49 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized