Today's Evil Beet Gossip

More Quotables

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“It’s been a very interesting year. I’ve learned many lessons, like no more phones. In New York I’m the bad girl, I’m the good girl, I’m a controversial girl, and I’ve been through so much in this city. I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic, of which I’m not ashamed.”

Rehabbed supermodel Naomi Campbell, at the 37th annual scholarship and awards dinner for the Black Action Retail Group.

Jewel’s Back, and Not with a Book of Poetry

Jewel Kilcher to Release Country Album, Signed with Valory Music Company

Thank God for small favors.

Jewel’s special brand of angst is coming to the country world!

She’s signed with a country label and plans to pursue life on the country charts.

“If I had been discovered now, living in my car in San Diego, I think I would have been signed as a country act,” she says. “As a singer/songwriter and as a storyteller, I’m old fashioned. I like a beginning middle and end to my songs. That’s pretty much just country radio now.”

Seriously, Jewel, you haven’t been living in your car for like 20 years now. You’ve been living on a sprawling ranch with a male model. Can we move on?

Quotables

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“Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history — only 10 votes — I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle. It is time for this nation to heal.”

Stephen Colbert, whose request to run in the 2008 presidential election was barred by the South Carolina Democratic Executive Council, which voted last week to keep the host of “The Colbert Report” off the state’s primary ballot. The vote was 13-3.

Sad!!!

2012!!!

The Writers’ Strike Is Happening and Jon Stewart Rocks (Maybe)

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Members of the Writers Guild of America went on strike early this morning.

The shows most impacted are news-centric talk shows, like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

There are rumors that Jon Stewart has decided not only to support the writers’ strike, but to pay his staff through his production company, Busboy Productions. His rep denies it, but the rumors persist.

It’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out.

A Note from Management

Happy Monday, ya’ll!!

I’m flying back from Miami this morning so I’ll be MIA until around lunchtime in LA. Get it? MIA? Miami? Ha ha. I slay me. I have had the most amazing time in this city — now I understand why Will Smith wrote an entire song about it. What a vibrant and friendly city. Thanks to those of you who sent me ideas about culturally enriching activities in which I might participate while here; instead, I alternated my time between three bars called Tavern, Sandbar and Mr. Moe’s. Talk about diverse. They were like a whole two blocks apart! Oh, and then Sandbar ran out of Red Bull and I really wanted Red Bull so I left to go look for a mini mart and wandered a little far and suddenly I was in this ghetto and this crackhead with one leg and a bicycle is like “Honey, you are walking in the wrong direction” and I’m like “I just want Red Bull!” and so the (nice) crackhead with one leg and a bicycle gave me an escort to the mini mart and I gave the crackhead two dollars to buy crack. So that was pretty cultural of me, I think.

Now on to other matters.

Over the past month or two, I’ve had a lot of you contact me about wanting to know more about who I am, what I look like, how I turned out this way, who raised me, etc. I think it’s kind of obnoxious when certain bloggers (not naming names, but you know who you are … ahem … Perez) pepper a celeb gossip blog with 100 photos of themselves every week. So I’m not going to do that. If you come here for the gossip and the snark, that’s what you’re gonna get. If you are one of those people who wants to know a little more about my life, I’ve added a photos section, where you can check out photos of me and my friends and my life. I’ve got a few pics of me up there now, and will add to it from all the pics I took in Miami, and we’ll go from there.

And now, the most important thing of all:

CONGRATULATIONS to Beet reader and my friend Emily, who got engaged to a truly wonderful man this weekend. Emily was one of our very first readers and fans, all the way back in the early days, so we know she has fantastic taste. Everyone here at The Beet wishes Emily and Adam our sincerest congratulations and all the best in the future. (And this is also the cheapest engagement present we could think up.) Welcome to the family, Emily!

Katie Holmes Runs the NYC Marathon!

Katie Holmes Runs the New York City Marathon. Time Was 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds

Ms. Katie Holmes completed the 26.2 mile course in 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds. It won’t qualify her for Boston, but it’s a full three days faster than I could do it. Unless I tried to use the subway system as a shortcut, in which case just go ahead and add twelve days to my time. I did not fare well on the NYC subways.

Tom and Suri were at the finish line to congratulate her and escort her back to the cage where she’s kept when not appearing healthy and independent for the media.