Today's Evil Beet Gossip

There Are No Words

Miss Teen South Carolina’s list of topics to mention in her Q&A session during the Miss Teen USA pageant, regardless of the question:

1) The Iraq
2) South Africa
3) U.S. Americans
4) The Asian countries

Miss Teen South Carolina’s list of optional topics to mention in her Q&A during the Miss Teen USA pageant, should the question so incline her:

1) The glaring, and tragic, shortage of maps in this country.

Uh-Oh, Britney’s Being Investigated for Child Abuse

Britney Spears Being Investigated for Child Abuse

I don’t know how she could abuse those children.

She’s never with them! When would she find the time???

Via TMZ:

An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Present — Britney’s lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan and a lawyer from the Los Angeles County Counsel who is assigned to the dependency court.

We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.

A hearing in the custody case has been scheduled for September 4, which will be a follow up to today’s appearance.

The most recent pic we have of Britney is above, leaving a Beverly Hills tanning salon Sunday night. No kids around to abuse!

Photo credit: Buzz Foto