Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Elton John Hates the World Wide Internets

Elton John is Occasionally Crazy

Personally, I love me some Elton John. I like “Tiny Dancer.” I like the entire Lion King soundtrack. Hell, I even like that “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me” duet he did with George Michael (and let me tell ya, I could get murdered for that if the wrong sort found out). But let’s face it, he’s probably descending slowly into madness.

(more after the jump)
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Nick Hogan’s Friend Still in Critical Condition in Hospital

While Owen Wilson’s in good condition, the friend of Nick Hogan who was injured in The Hulk’s son’s recent car crash — John Graziano — remains in very serious condition in a Florida hospital.

“John’s condition hasn’t changed since he arrived,” say sources inside the hospital.

Meanwhile, the Florida police are investigating other vehicles they think may have been involved in the accident.

How can a car be “involved” in an accident without actually being in the accident?

Drag-racing, people. Drag-racing.

“We suspect there may be others and we encourage them to come forward,” say the Florida police.

If this kid dies as a result of drag-racing — and I hope and pray he doesn’t — these kids are in deep, deep shit.

Blind Item!

WHICH wealthy bachelor who was living at the Peninsula got a pretty concierge at the hotel fired when her bosses found out they were having an affair? He took his business across the street to the St. Regis, where they continued their trysts

[source: Page Six]

Expect a TON of Owen Wilson Articles that Don’t Make Sense

Owen Wilson - The writing was on the wall!

Check out this madness from that bastion of journalism UsaToday. Wait, no don’t. I’ll break it down for you. Here’s the headline:

Suicide, depression are common in Wilson’s films

Ah yes, we’ve found a crack reporter on the case. Should we mention that Matt Damon played a demented killer in Talented Mr. Ripley? Or how about Ed Norton and obscene racism in American History X? Tom Cruise as a hitman in Collateral? No, nothing? Oh, I see… we’ve found a trend.

Here are the films that the article mentions along with my one second comeback:

  • Bottle Rocket (his first movie, filmed in college)
  • Rushmore (he is UNCREDITED in Rushmore)
  • The Royal Tenenbaums (well, at least he’s in this one, though it was Luke who attempted suicide in the movie)
  • The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (He’s looking for his dad…. uh, okay.)
  • The Darjeeling Limited (this film has not yet been released but I’m sure all the signs of Owen’s suicide attempt were there… if only we’d thought to look!!)

I only wish UsaToday had been on this case sooner. For the record, here are some other tragic films Owen has done.

  • Starsky and Hutch
  • Zoolander
  • Meet the Parents/Fockers (okay, you got me, these are pretty fucking depressing.)
  • Wedding Crashers
  • You, Me, and Dupree

So, yeah, the writing was definitely on the wall.

Here’s another genius comment from the article:

A look at Wilson’s collaborations with filmmaker Wes Anderson, which he has called his most personal films, are often comedic meditations on depression, alienation and suicide:

So, wait a sec… might it actually be Wes Anderson we should worry for? After all, he wrote and directed all those darned sad flicks. Someone get a team to his house, quick, before it’s too goddamn late!

Michael Lohan to Visit Lindsay in Rehab

It looks like Lindsay Lohan’s father will finally get his wish — he gets to see his daughter. In rehab, of course, but at least he’s getting to see her. According to Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan and her mother, Dina, have decided to allow Michael Lohan to visit his eldest daughter at her Utah rehab. “It was actually her older brother, Michael’s, idea. It’s a part of the healing process,” a friend said. “Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone.” Michael – whose divorce from Dina is likely to be finalized soon, now that they’ve resolved most issues between them, including custody – hasn’t seen Lindsay in years due to his abusive temper and violent behavior. In order for him to be allowed to visit, Dina – who has a restraining order out against Michael – had to get it lifted. “Dina thinks it is a good idea,” the friend said. “Lindsay needs to deal with this and needs closure.” Michael has said he’s been sober and found God since leaving jail earlier this summer. A rep for the Lohans said, “Yes, he will be seeing his daughter.”

As crazy as Michael Lohan is, you have to admit he’s cleaned up his act a lot since his pre-jail days. We haven’t heard stories of him getting in bar fights or assaulting family members in recent days, which is more than I can say for Lindsay. Who knows, maybe he’ll actually be a positive influence on Lindsay. Lord knows she needs all the help she can get.

More on Owen Wilson’s Drug Problems

In the aftermath of funnyman Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt, the question on everyone’s mind is, of course, how did this happen?

The answer, it appears, is a common one: drugs.

Owen has a history of trouble with drugs and alcohol, and they seem to have spiraled out of control in the days before he slit his wrist and overdosed on pills. In the past day, stories have surfaced indicating that Owen was using heroin and cocaine, and went on a three-day binge with crystal meth and OxyContin.

Three days before the suicide attempt, Wilson was spotted in a Santa Monica church, according to Us Weekly. Was he hoping for divine intervention?

Slow News Day?

As a man who makes his substantial living at the foot of the Hollywood Gods I am not a biter of the hands that feed me. I don’t rock the boat. I only ask for enough to sustain myself and my many wives, and of course our multiple mansions, all equipped with dowdy Beagles named “Mr. Sparkles.” But sometimes even I come across something that makes me wonder how exactly this whole equation works. Consider this screenshot:

Keanu Reeves is Out at night!

I came across this news item because my RSS reader came through with this headline: Keanu Reeves’ Night out in Hollywood. So I clicked to see more, and this was what I was presented with. I expected hookers, or at the very least horse tranquilizers. What did I get? One Single Photo. This is not clickable by the way, there aren’t more photos to the equation that we’re missing. We also aren’t told where he is, or what he’s doing. In fact this shot could have been taken a year ago.

I guess what I’m saying here is “Hey, ET producers, put the paint thinner down.” If we start running solitary photos of celebs without mentioning the whore house Les Deux or the term “DUI” then I’m not sure what we’re in the business for. Hell, I could come up with a photo every day, no problem. I’ll even make up a story for ya. Who you want? Mel Gibson? Expect a photo of him at Pizza Hut later today (though the photo won’t show that unless I get photoshop).

Best regards,

Spireful Lars