Jennifer Aniston chose an unfortunate fabric to wear to the premiere of Management at the Toronto Film Festival on Sunday, and you can see her little nipple covering in a bunch of the red carpet photos.
Here’s my line of thinking: this thing obviously isn’t there to prevent the nipple from showing up in photos, or they would have made the damn thing black, right? And it’s not there to provide lifting or separating for her tits, because it’s totally not doing that, right? So it must be there to prevent her from having that infamous Jennifer Aniston THO. Jen, baby, you gotta work the hard nipples, not keep ‘em down. Own ‘em, baby! Haven’t you heard? Brad Pitt’s in town, too! Now’s your big chance! Show him what he’s missing, girl!
September 8, 2008 at 2:07 am by Evil Beet
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
This is the kind of genius I wish I possessed. I don’t care who you’re voting for — this shit is funny.
If you want to see just the video showing on the bluescreen without the RNC stuff, it’s after the jump.
September 7, 2008 at 11:42 pm by Evil Beet
She may not have performed, but The Britney Spears Comeback officially started tonight, at the VMAs. Collecting all three of the awards for which she was nominated and appearing calm, poised, gracious and sober on-stage, it was the Britney we all used to know and love.
Some more thoughts as I was watching:
So I thought the bit at the beginning with Britney and Jonah Hill was actually really cute. Mostly because Jonah Hill is awesome, also because he called her “Brit-Brit,” and lastly because Britney was trying really hard, and that’s encouraging.
Then the show began, Britney spoke like three sentences — that was the entirety of her appearance as a performer, and she did all of it with the microphone hiding half her face from the camera — then these kick-ass dancers came out to do Rihanna’s “Disturbia,” and I was like, “This is gonna be fucking awesome.” And then Rihanna started singing and, IMHO, it was all pretty much a straight shot down from there.
And then Russell Brand comes out with his thick British accent and starts begging you to vote for Barack Obama (and the camera pans to Britney Spears, who’s clapping a little bit and glancing off in the distance as though she’s assumed Barack Obama is some dude up for best hip-hop video) and then starts ragging on President Bush, and, like, I’m all about ragging on President Bush, but not from you, Mr. British Man. It’s like how I’m always like “Dude, my little sister’s a pain in the ass,” and that’s cool, but if anyone else were like, “Dude, your little sister’s a pain in the ass,” I’d have to hit that person. It’s all a little inappropriate, IMHO. And then he decides to do a bit about Sarah Palin and her knocked-up daughter and her boyfriend and you know it’s all untested material from a comedian who’s not used to going live with untested material and it crashes pretty embarrassingly. I think, in general, Americans aren’t very comfortable with foreigners telling jokes at our expense. Sigh. This whole monologue is painful.
Britney wins the Best Female Video right off the bat and gets to the stage and gives a very short, sober, non-crazy acceptance speech, as though she hadn’t been chillin’ in psych wards since the last time we saw her. It’s all very matter-of-fact and humble. Britney’s actively trying to tone down the hype surrounding her right now. I think that’s exceptionally wise. Praise Jesus for Larry Rudolph.
Demi Moore comes in to introduce the Best Male Video award, and she was too busy off-stage asking people if that skirt made her legs look fat (answer: yes) to figure out how she was going to get a microphone. She spins around on stage awkwardly until a stagehand brings her one.
Taylor Swift introduces the Jonas Brothers, one of whom she’s dating, although I can’t remember which one. This looks like a segment out of Sesame Street right now. I take that back. Sesame Street would be more interesting, and I might even learn something other than exactly how tightly Nick Jonas can squint his eyes without them actually being closed. I like how there’s, like, Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas and Awkward Jonas.
I also read that Big Rob, that huge dude who used to bodyguard for Britney Spears, now works for the Jonas Brothers. In fact, I think he makes a cameo in their “Burnin’ Up” video. Loves it.
More thoughts after the jump:
September 7, 2008 at 10:32 pm by Evil Beet
Here’s Jessica making her first appearance at the country music institution.
While her performance was mediocre at best (why do they keep panning to the back-up singers?), even the old-fashioned audience members realized that her outfit was abhorrent … but they had different reasons for thinking that than I did.
Audience members, it seemed, couldn’t believe her costume choice. “I think she should have put some clothes on,” one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson’s performance with: “I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] â€“ and she was dressed appropriately.”
I think Jess looks like a bobble-head doll throughout this whole performance. Like a bobble-head doll from 1984. This is all very sad, Jessica.
September 7, 2008 at 7:28 pm by Evil Beet
Dara Torres, the 41-year-old silver medalist in Beijing, had the opportunity to walk in the Charles Nolan show at NY fashion week on Sunday … along with her two-year-old daughter.
Talk about superwoman!
Dude, I would totally kill a homeless man for those legs. And I’m like half her age. I hope my trainer is reading this. Are you reading this, Kristen? This is what I want my legs to look like. Also, I would prefer not to have to work very hard to make them look that way. Can you do that please? Thank you.
September 7, 2008 at 7:18 pm by Evil Beet
So here they are.
Conspicuously absent from red carpet photos: Paris Hilton, who attended the event with Pete Wentz, but it doesn’t look like she posed beforehand. Weird. Britney also didn’t do the carpet.