Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Your Daily Britney!

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Damn, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a Daily Britney.

Homegirl’s been camera-shy lately, but she did manage to venture out to a Hollywood recording studio today.

What the heck is she doing at a recording studio? Working on a new album already?

She’s also sporting new blonde streaks in her hair, and, if you look carefully, you can see her trusty pack of smokes sticking out from the green bag.

Very exciting.

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon Officially Dunzo

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Well, Pam Anderson’s third marriage is officially over.

Their October 2007 marriage was annulled today on the grounds of fraud.

Neither of them has explained what exactly was fraudulent about their marriage. Did Pammy neglect to tell Rick that she’s a drug-addicted hooker who’s still in love with Tommy Lee? Or did Rick forget to mention to Pammy that he’s the special kind of trash who likes to stick champagne bottles up the vaginas of 19-year-old girls?

The world may never know.

Graziano Family Taking the Hogans to Court

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Man, you know, it kind of sucks to be sick and stuck in bed on your birthday. But I’ve had all day to lie around the house and think about the things I’m grateful for. I’m grateful that I can drink Gatorade and it stays down now. I’m grateful I have two parents who are doting on me while I’m sick. I’m grateful that I have a ton of friends who called to wish me a happy birthday, and I’m grateful for all your readers who left well wishes in the comments. I’m grateful that I have an otherwise healthy body that I know will recover fine from this evil food poisoning. And, most importantly, I’m grateful that I’m not a Hogan or a Graziano.

The family of John Graziano — the kid who was severely injured, and remains in critical condition, after an August 26 street-racing accident — has filed suit against the Hogan family: specifically, Linda, Terry and son Nick. You can check out all the legal docs here, but basically they’re alleging that both parents knew of Nick’s tendency to drive recklessly, and they didn’t help matters by allowing him to get his car all souped up. They’re also filing suit against the driver of the other car in the accident, Daniel Jacobs, who was apparently driving a vehicle lent to him by the Hogan family. Oh, and they’re also charging that Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan) purchased alcohol for the underage kids prior to the accident.

Dayum.

This is all so sad, for everybody involved.

Miley Cyrus ::Hearts:: Jesus

Have you ever just wanted to watch two teenage girls high on their own fame talk into a camera about their favorite colors and other meaningless questions for over 7 minutes?

Now’s your chance!

Here’s the latest edition of the Miley & Mandy Show, a YouTube phenomenon where Miley Cyrus and her “best friend” Mandy Jiroux chat about nothing for a really long time (they’ve been “best friends” for a year but “really close” for six or seven months — what???).

Cut to around 6:13 to hear the girls proclaiming their love for Jesus Christ, and Miley reminding you all that “He died for our sins.”

OMG. Cannot wait until she goes to rehab.

Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

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Welp, today’s my birthday and, to retaliate, my body has decided to become violently ill once again.

And, no, it’s not because I was out getting all crazy to celebrate my birthday.

Rather, it appears to be a severe case of food poisoning.

Yay!!!!

I’m going to try to post some later in the day, but for now I just need to sleep and not be awake at all because being awake when you’re this sick is just plain scary. This year has just not been awesome so far, health-wise, and I’m sorry I keep taking days off because of it. But hopefully this is just a simple case of food poisoning that’ll be all better in a few hours.

And don’t forget, kids, Britney’s big TV comeback appearance is tonight! I had been considering that to be my birthday present from God, but now I’m pretty sure he just smote me instead.

Well Look Who’s Suddenly Relevant

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Nobody gives a damn about Kate Beckinsale. We never see pictures of her, we never hear about her, and I bet you didn’t even know she had a daughter.

Then she goes and makes some off-hand remark about how she might eat vagina were the alternative option sushi, and suddenly the photo agencies can’t take enough pictures of her.

Here’s Kate with her husband, director Len Wiseman, and daughter Lily at what appears to be Cross Creek Village in Malibu.