Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Yes Of COURSE Vanilla Ice Was Beating His Wife

Vanilla Ice Domestic Violence Mug Shot Booking Photo, Pictures

Okay. I’m all settled in Seattle now. I slept for like 12 hours last night, which is something I think I really needed to do, and now I’m all set up in my new furnished apartment in Queen Anne. It was the best deal I could get on such short notice, but it’s pretty spacious and all the decorations are red and purple. I’m calling it Chez Eggplant. My lease specifically says no smoking and no pets. I plan to both smoke and, eventually, get a pet. I scoff at authority. I’m so badass.

You know who else is badass?

Vanilla Ice, who was arrested last night on charges of domestic battery. I guess he and his wife were arguing about something, and he pushed her. Ice spent the night in jail, and this morning was ordered to stay away from his wife, although he’s allowed to call her on the phone.

God, does anyone else remember that one thing — I think it was on MTV — where they had, like, Jon Stewart, Janeane Garofalo and Vanilla Ice talking about something, and suddenly Vanilla Ice just lost his shit and started destroying the studio while Jon and Janeane looked on awkwardly? Am I making this up or does someone else remember it?

Anyway, I know there’s no excuse for domestic violence, but seriously how stupid do you have to be to marry this creep?

Brief Update


So I’m just getting settled into Seattle, which is why posting has been slow.

I rented an apartment in Queen Anne, and I move in tomorrow, so posting should resume as normal by then. Today I explored University Village (explored = shopping) and then went out to Lynnwood to see friends. On this one street in Lynnwood, there is a Red Lobster, an Olive Garden AND a Panda Express. All in one glorious row of culinary genius. I should have rented an apartment on that street. Seriously, whenever anyone’s like “OMG I loooove Spago” my response is “Oh, you clearly haven’t tried the Olive Garden.” No matter what my financial situation, my idea of fine dining will always hover somewhere around lower middle class.

I’m staying right now with my friend Trish, who lives in the South Lake Union area of downtown Seattle. The public transit system out here is called South Lake Union Trolley. This morning, Trish got me a shirt that says “Ride the S.L.U.T.” I am beyond delighted. I love you, Trish!!!

Anyway, sorry posting has been slow the past few days, but thank you all for your comments and support. It means the world to me. Things should be back to normal (well, as normal as they get around here) by tomorrow.


It’s a Slow News Day, So Let’s Talk About Britney Some More

Moby Fuck Shirt, Pictures, Photos

Seriously, it’s like, when there’s nothing else going on, everyone just uses the opportunity to try to get their name in the papers by saying something about Britney Spears.

Up now: Moby.

I know, right?

Here’s what he had to say to British rag The Sun:

“She’s like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat.”

Yeah, that’s right, Moby called Britney Spears fat.

Love it.

I Love Neil Patrick Harris

Neil Patrick Harris Pictures, Photos

He’ll always be Doogie Howser to me, but Neil’s decided to speak out against the “stunt casting” (aka Britney Spears) that producers are using on How I Met Your Mother.

“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed,” he says to the AP. “I worry that if they start `Will and Grace’-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game … We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”