After the CSI star physically assaulted a TMZ photog last summer, they were all too happy to report that Gary Dourdan was busted yesterday in Palm Springs for possession of — ready for this? — heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs.
People still do ecstasy? That’s, like, so late-’90s to me. Did you remember to bring your glow sticks and lollipops too, Gary? Were you wearing your JNCO jeans when they got you?
Anyway, Gary was taken to the Palm Springs jail, where he posted bail and was released.
Also: Leo was supposed to start puppy kindergarten today (that’s actually what they call it!) but Mommy slept through it. So Leo will start puppy kindergarten this weekend instead. And I will bring my camera, so as to capture all the insane cuteness that I’m sure is involved in puppy kindergarten. Also, me and Leo’s downstairs neighbor (who we’ve never met) moved out this morning, and he was kind enough to leave a hand-written note on my car talking about what horrible upstairs neighbors Leo and I are (“THUD! THUD! THUD! That’s what it sounds like when you walk across the floor, and then I hear your stupid dog following you! Thank GOODNESS I’m moving out today!”) Our former downstairs neighbor is a pathetic ass. Like, non-confrontational much, buddy? Leo weighs three pounds. I can’t imagine he makes that much noise. For the past five years, I’ve lived with three cats who weigh about four times that, and never had a single complaint from downstairs neighbors. But Leo and I are moving to a much friendlier, nicer building in two days, and we are VERY excited because Chez Eggplant is a piece of shit with no hot water and mean neighbors who don’t treat Leo like the tiny prince that he is.
Update: I realized that I have to amend this. I did, once, get a complaint from a downstairs neighbor, and it was hilarious. I was having really loud sex with this guy I was dating one night at like two in the morning, and I realized afterward that my bedroom window was open and the whole complex probably heard us. So the next morning I get a knock on my door, and it’s the complex’s 70-year-old security guard. And he’s like, “Um, we got a complaint this morning from your downstairs neighbor. She said you were being, um, noisy last night.” And I was like “Really, that’s strange. I don’t recall being noisy last night. Did she say what kind of noises?” And he kind of shifted a little on his feet and was like, “Uhh, just noises, ma’am. Around two am.” And I was like, “That’s so weird. I swear I was asleep by then. Are you sure you can’t be more specific about the noises?” And he was like, “Um, no. Sorry to bother you.” I’m laughing right now just thinking about it. Too funny.