Today's Evil Beet Gossip

But I Love Him!

Vanilla Ice’s wife, Laura Van Winkle, recanted her original statement that her husband had physically abused her. She now says any physical contact was accidental.

So prosecutors will not be moving forward with the case.

Shit, dude, I hope any sexual contact she has with him is accidental too. I can’t imagine who would walk to sleep with this washed-up freakazoid. I’m sure from here on out it will be all roses and happiness in this relationship. Because a guy who beats you up once is definitely going to feel very sorry and never do it again. Especially once you make it clear that you love him enough to not press charges.


Foreshadowing Much?

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden had lunch today at a restaurant in Beverly Hills called Prego.

Oh dear Lord.

Please let this be the first and last time I use “Paris Hilton” and “Prego” in the same sentence. Unless the headline is “BREAKING: Doctors Confirm Paris Hilton Is Infertile!”

[Image via Splash]

A Smile Out of an Olsen!


Ashley Olsen actually gives us a wide grin at the Everywhere At Once screening in NYC. I don’t think I’ve seen her smile that big since she was playing Michelle.

She looks really great in all the pics from this event, actually. She seems happy, and less, ya know, tortured than usual.

More pics of Ashley from this event are after the jump.

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Gary Dourdan Should Change His Name to Gary Douchebag

After the CSI star physically assaulted a TMZ photog last summer, they were all too happy to report that Gary Dourdan was busted yesterday in Palm Springs for possession of — ready for this? — heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs.

People still do ecstasy? That’s, like, so late-’90s to me. Did you remember to bring your glow sticks and lollipops too, Gary? Were you wearing your JNCO jeans when they got you?

Anyway, Gary was taken to the Palm Springs jail, where he posted bail and was released.

Also: Leo was supposed to start puppy kindergarten today (that’s actually what they call it!) but Mommy slept through it. So Leo will start puppy kindergarten this weekend instead. And I will bring my camera, so as to capture all the insane cuteness that I’m sure is involved in puppy kindergarten. Also, me and Leo’s downstairs neighbor (who we’ve never met) moved out this morning, and he was kind enough to leave a hand-written note on my car talking about what horrible upstairs neighbors Leo and I are (“THUD! THUD! THUD! That’s what it sounds like when you walk across the floor, and then I hear your stupid dog following you! Thank GOODNESS I’m moving out today!”) Our former downstairs neighbor is a pathetic ass. Like, non-confrontational much, buddy? Leo weighs three pounds. I can’t imagine he makes that much noise. For the past five years, I’ve lived with three cats who weigh about four times that, and never had a single complaint from downstairs neighbors. But Leo and I are moving to a much friendlier, nicer building in two days, and we are VERY excited because Chez Eggplant is a piece of shit with no hot water and mean neighbors who don’t treat Leo like the tiny prince that he is.

Update: I realized that I have to amend this. I did, once, get a complaint from a downstairs neighbor, and it was hilarious. I was having really loud sex with this guy I was dating one night at like two in the morning, and I realized afterward that my bedroom window was open and the whole complex probably heard us. So the next morning I get a knock on my door, and it’s the complex’s 70-year-old security guard. And he’s like, “Um, we got a complaint this morning from your downstairs neighbor. She said you were being, um, noisy last night.” And I was like “Really, that’s strange. I don’t recall being noisy last night. Did she say what kind of noises?” And he kind of shifted a little on his feet and was like, “Uhh, just noises, ma’am. Around two am.” And I was like, “That’s so weird. I swear I was asleep by then. Are you sure you can’t be more specific about the noises?” And he was like, “Um, no. Sorry to bother you.” I’m laughing right now just thinking about it. Too funny.

Ashley Dupre Is Probably Not Going to Win Her Lawsuit Against Girls Gone Wild :(

Well, after Ashley Dupre sued Joe Francis and GGW for illegal use of her name and image, Joe Francis has produced a video tape of a 17-year-old Dupre stating that she was 18, and video tape of the fake ID she showed them.

Video is here.

The ID is oh-so-obviously a fake, but I’m not sure how that works out in a courtroom.

Also check out the super-fake Southern accent she’s sporting. About as believable as her ID.

Amy Smart’s Breasts (Kind Of)

So someone decided to take photos of Amy Smart on the set of Crank 2: High Voltage (There was a Crank 1? Never heard of it. Probably because they neglected to leak photos of Amy Smart’s breasts during the filming.) She’s got black tape over the nipples, and she’s wearing super-sexy red hot pants. But still. Hot pic.

Anyway, I’m gonna get an angry letter from Lionsgate about this in T-12 hours or so, so download it while you can.

Pic is after the jump.

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