Awwwww, this makes me so unbelievably happy!
Rachel and Ryan are supposed to be together FOREVER! Didn’t they see The Notebook? They are supposed to dote on one another throughout senility and failing health, realizing again and again that their love is a force of a thing that transcends the wicked confines of the human form and then they die peacefully in one another’s arms and I bawl my eyes out.
So I’m glad to hear that they seem to have reunited.
August 20, 2008 at 11:41 am by Evil Beet
Britney’s on the cover of OK magazine this week, in a hot white bikini and running her mouth about her diet and exercise routine. And, yeah, there’s obviously a lot of exercise going on here, but my guess is there’s also a fair amount of liposuction involved. Anyway. In case you’re the kind of person who still feels it’s appropriate to take health tips from Britney Fucking Spears, here’s the diet story Britney’s sticking to:
“My diet has a lot to do with my getting into shape. I have no sugar. I don’t eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I’ll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it’s not much, but it’s actually a lot of food if you eat the right things.”
Britney didn’t say any of that. And if she’s not eating fruit or fruit juice, it’s because she doesn’t like it. I mean, she’s obviously doing a lot better than she was a year ago, but there’s a freakin’ team of people — many of them surgeons — involved in this overhaul. Believe it.
August 20, 2008 at 10:07 am by Evil Beet
Is there anything Paris Hilton can’t do? (Don’t answer that. Don’t even try. You have other things that need to get done at some point today.)
This time, she’s becoming a superhero.
“I’ve created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is based on me,” Paris told the magazine San Diego City Beat. “And we’re doing a cartoon right now with MTV.”
Oh, man. She makes it so easy.
Okay, guys. What is Paris Hilton’s superpower?
August 20, 2008 at 9:52 am by Evil Beet
Amy has reportedly agreed to go to a rehab that is close to husband Blake’s jail, so that she can get sober while making regular conjugal visits. Frankly, if I were her, I’d think of this as an opportunity to get sober near a constant reminder of what can happen if she doesn’t clean her act up. She’s going to the Focus 12 Clinic, which is only fifteen miles away from Blake’s jail.
Good luck with this, Amy!
August 20, 2008 at 9:39 am by Evil Beet
I FINALLY had my camera near me when Leo and my cat Max got into one of their infamous battles. And, listen, I cropped out a LOT of the footage. I filmed them fighting for a full five minutes before Leo finally got bored and ran off. I just think this is the funniest shit ever. And you guys have been asking for new pics of Leo, so hopefully this tides you over.
Also, mad mad mad props to Laremy at Film.com, who was able to correctly come up with the band and name of this song when I sent him a text that said only “What’s the name of that Irish song from movies? That sounds angry?” Now that is someone who knows his shit. For anyone who cares, the band is Dropkick Murphys and the song is “Shipping up to Boston.”
I am amazingly proud of this video. I plan to submit it for Oscar consideration. I’m taking out a full-page ad in Variety later this year. That’s how much faith I have in it.
August 19, 2008 at 11:35 pm by Evil Beet
But someone sent along a link to a group entitled Alicia Sacramone Sucks at Gymnastics But I Still Wanna Fuck Her, and that, my friends, really sums up what the Olympics are all about in my mind. And in the minds of most Americans. I have joined the group.
And in the interest of gender parity, I have started my own group. It is called I Don’t Care About Michael Phelps’ Face, I Still Want to Butter His Fly, and I suggest you all join it ASAP, because it is the coolest group on Facebook. Aside from the ones about me.
And one final point of discussion:
Alicia Sacramone: Boob job? Yes or no? If yes, why? If no, how does she have tits?